


To Save a Dead Poet

by AlwaysBeKind19



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Multi, Neil and todd deserve happiness, Not your typical "girl at Welton" fanfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-10-28 07:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 70,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17782964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysBeKind19/pseuds/AlwaysBeKind19
Summary: Ally Wharton and her friends enter Welton Academy with the thought that all it's going to be is another boring year. But after coming across an old yearbook, they discover something from the school's history that might make their year just a bit more exciting, and after researching the death of a former student, Ally finds herself transported to the year 1959 with just one goal: save Neil Perry's life.





	1. Who's Neil Perry?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey after debating doing this for months, I've decided to write my very first fanfic! Hope you all enjoy this piece of what I wish would've happened in Dead Poets Society, one of my favourite movies!  
> Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society or its characters, but I do own Ally!  
> PS: I know the first chapter is terrible, but I promise it's going to get better after this!

I thought that my grade 12 year at Welton was going to be just like all the years before it, just with maybe a few differences. Maybe I would get a boyfriend, lose my virginity, get into university, you know the typical stuff grade twelves expect to do. But what I didn't expect to happen was to be sent back in time and be introduced to the most amazing group of guys I've ever met in my life and be sent on an emotional roller coaster in my quest to save one of their lives. But now I'm skipping ahead. See it all started at the annual opening ceremony...

"Welton Academy has for almost 160 years now, sent over 75% of our graduating students to Ivy League schools, and even with the addition of female students in 1985, this number has not wavered. It is reasons like this that make Welton the best preparatory school in the United States!"

I had heard the speech so many times before that the claps were more forced than ever before. My parents, on the other hand, were as enthsuiastic as ever, slamming their hands together along with the rest of the people there to create thunderous applause. I searched the room for my best friend and roommate, Jules Asher, knowing that she would be just as annoyed as I was, but there was no sign of her anywhere. My mom nudged me in the side, which was her way of saying, "Be a lady!" I forced a smile onto my face and clapped my hands a little harder, but not before smoothing out my biege skirt over my thighs and smoothing my blonde waves back with a headband. I knew my parents cared about nothing more than appearances and reputations. After all, the only reason I'm at Welton in the first place is because my grandpa, my dad and by older brother went here, so now it's my turn to carry on the Wharton legacy. 

I sat through the rest of the agonizing opening ceremony, still with no signs of Jules. I walked out the front door with my parents, where we were greeted by Mr. Richard Cameron, the school headmaster. 

"Nice to see you again, Mr. Cameron." My mom said, shaking his hand. I have to admit, Mr. Cameron definitely wasn't the most approachable guy on the planet. He was in his seventies, with a creepy smile and hints of red hair still left on his otherwise bald head. He was apparently an alumni of this school, graduating top of his class, and had been headmaster of this hell for over 20 years now. 

"Pleasure to see you as well, Mr. and Mrs. Wharton. Ally, I am expecting great things from you again this year. You have quite the legacy to uphold."

"Thank you, sir. I'll try my best." I replied, giving him what I hoped was my most convincing smile. I knew that I had a legacy to uphold around here, but I wished that everyone else didn't. 

"I hope so." He replied, and we moved forward so he could greet the next terrified student and their overjoyed parents. Parents jumped to send their kids to Welton as soon as they had the chance, either because of its reputation or because they just wanted someone to look after their kids for them. 

After quick goodbyes with my parents, I rushed up to my room in hopes of finding Jules waiting there for me, and was reassured by the sight of her brown curls pulled up into a ponytail, the only crazy part of her otherwise composed appearance. 

"Jules!" I exclaimed.

"Oh my god, Ally!" she practically screamed, jumping into my arms. Jules and I had been roommates since grade 7, and immediatly clicked. Now, we were closer than sisters. She had been sent to Welton because her parents were successful business people who didn't have enough time to be good parents to their daughter. 

"God, can you believe Mr. Cameron? I swear every year he gets worse." Jules said, squeezing me hard. 

"You know he's an alumni?" I heard, and whipped my head around to see the third member of our best friend, Josh Charles. He gave me his signature smirk, before wrapping me up in a tight hug. Josh and I became good friends after meeting in Chemistry in grade 7, and clicked like magnets. "It'd be pretty fun to look in his yearbook, see if he's always looked like a creep."

"That sounds perfect." I replied. "Maybe he's always been a ginger pube." 

…

It was hours later before we were able to actually check the library for yearbooks. After all, we had classes, meals, other people to catch up with... It didn't really leave a lot of time for investigating our headmaster.

"We don't even know what year he graduated." Josh exclaimed, going through his fifth yearbook. "How do we expect to find his yearbook?"

"Just keep looking." I said, searching through the yearbook from 1965. We had already been looking for over a half hour, but so far had no success. 

"Wait!" Jules suddenly screamed. "I think I found him!"

Josh and I ran over to see Jules, and found her looking at a yearbook from 1960. She had her finger hovering over a picture of a young boy with curly red hair, a creepy smile pasted on his freckled face. Underneath the picture was the name Richard Cameron, and the quote "Tradition. Honor. Discipline. Excellence." It was hard to miss the amount of golden pins sitting over his heart, or the long list of accomplishments under his name, including rowing team, honor council, Welton society candidates and many more. 

"He still looks like a creep." Jules said. 

"Yeah, but a smart creep." Josh replied. 

"Graduated top of his class." I replied. 

"I wonder if we can find any pictures of him rowing." Jules laughed. "Now that'd be funny."

Jules flipped to the next page, but instead of club pictures, there was a full page picture of a young boy, probably around the age of 17, with neatly combed brown hair, warm brown eyes, and cheekbones that looked like they could carve a turkey. He had a hint of a smile on his handsome face, and was wearing the traditional Welton uniform, his blazer covered with even more pins than Mr. Cameron's was. What was most intriguing about the picture though, was the words under it. Neil Perry. 1942-1959. A beloved student, son, and friend. RIP. But then, scribbled in sharpie underneath that, were the words "Carpe Diem, Neil - DPS".

"Somebody died here?" Josh asked.

"Looks like it." I replied. "What does DPS mean?"

"No idea." 

"He's handsome." Jules said. Of course that's what she would be thinking about. "How do you think he died?"

"He's young, so maybe he got into an accident or something." I replied. "Or he could've gotten sick."

"We should ask Cameron and find out!" She replied, closing the yearbook and clutching it to her chest as if it was some kind of precious jewel. 

"Are you crazy?!" Josh answered. "Mr. Cameron could've been friends with him if we ask all we're going to do is piss him off."

"C'mon don't tell me you aren't a least a little bit curious!"

"Of course I am I just don't think asking the headmaster about his dead friend is a good idea!"

"How about," I interrupted. "We look in the yearbook for more pictures of Neil and then maybe we can find out who he was friends with and go from there."

We searched through the yearbook for more pictures, but it seemed Welton was dead set on not having anymore photos of a deceased student in the yearbook. There were quite a few pictures of Mr. Cameron though, with his many clubs, along with other boys that had the same 50's haircuts and the Welton uniform, which had remained unchanged over the years. I had just about given up hope on ever finding out more on Neil Perry when we got to the very back of the book and found a black and white photo tucked in between the last two pages. In the photo, there were seven students, including Neil and Mr. Cameron, sitting on desks around another man with brown hair and a mischievous smile who looked older than the rest. 

"Mr. Cameron did know Neil." Josh said. 

"Who are the other boys?" Jules asked. "Clearly they know who Neil is."

We managed to find pictures in the yearbook of the other boys, who we identified as Steven Meeks, Gerard Pitts, Knox Overstreet and Todd Anderson. One of the boys, a brunette with a smirk that screamed trouble, was nowhere to be found, and the older man in the centre wasn't in the yearbook at all either. 

"He must be a teacher." I said. "Doesn't explain why he isn't in the yearbook though."

"Same with that guy with the smirk. Clearly he was a student."

"Hey check this out." Josh said. He was pointing at Todd Anderson's picture. Todd was handsome himself, with dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes, but he didn't have the exploding confidence that Neil seemed to have. I glanced under his name, and saw that he was a member of the soccer team, service club and school annual. But what really caught my eye was his quote. "Carpe diem."

"It can't be a coincidence." he said. "They're in that picture together so they clearly knew each other, and his quote is the same as the one written on Neil's memorial page." 

"I'd say we try to find him." Jules said, a smirk etched on her face. "I'm sure he could tell us what happened to Neil."

I have to admit, at this point my curiosity had pretty much reached an all time high, not just because of Neil Perry, but because of the clear mystery surrounding his friend group. A teacher and a student with no mention at all in the yearbook, whatever the hell the DPS was. And I knew it was crazy, investigating the death of a guy who died almost 60 years ago, but I knew it was going to drive me even crazier if I didn't find out. So...

"Let's do it."


	2. Lost Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally decides to go on a bit of an adventure to find Todd Anderson, Neil's former best friend, to learn more about the former student and the things that lead up to his death, but what she learns ends up changing her perspective about everything, and leads to Ally making a decision that will end up changing her life...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society or its characters!
> 
> Sorry it took me so long to update, but I'm really happy with how this chapter ended up and I hope you guys like it too!

I won't bore you with the details of how we managed to track down Todd Anderson, but long story short, we discovered that he graduated from Colombia University after attending Welton, and became a writer, getting multiple poetry books published over the years. He lived in New York for a very long time, but had, to our luck, recently moved back to Welton to retire peacefully. He lived a 15 minute drive from the academy, so it was decided on the following Sunday, we were going to take a taxi to Todd's house to see if he could tell us anything about Neil Perry. But it didn't necessarily happen that way...

"Are you guys sure about this?" Josh asked over breakfast Sunday morning. "I mean, think about it, we're asking a guy we've never met before to tell us about his dead friend. And we're going to his house it's going to look like we're stalking him or something! He could call the cops on us!"

"You guys wanted to get answers, and this is the only way to do it!" I replied. "Unless you want to go to Mr. Cameron and ask?"

Josh just looked at his plate, so I turned to Jules instead, expecting her to be her ever confident self, but instead she wouldn't meet my gaze. 

"Jules?" I asked. "You're coming with me right?"

"I don't know, Ally. Josh has a point. I'd rather not have to explain to my parents that I got arrested for stalking a 70-year old man."

"Seriously?! You were more curious than me a couple of days ago!" 

"I know! But, maybe we're taking this too far at this point. I mean, this guy died almost 60 years ago. If you still want to go, then you can, but I think we're going to stay here." 

I looked incredulously between my two friends, before standing up and walking out. If they weren't going to help me out, then I was going to do this on my own.   
…

Half an hour later, the taxi driver pulled up in front of a tiny brick house with a low black roof. The lawn was a wreck, the black car parked in the driveway was in desperate need of a wash, and every curtain and blind was drawn shut, making the house look like it was haunted or something. I nervously gulped and exited the car, taking the first few steps up to the front door of the house. It was times like this where I desperately wanted Josh and Jules with me. 

I nervously knocked on the door, secretly hoping that no one was going to answer. (Looking back on it now, that was actually the worst case scenario.)

"Can I help you?" I heard, and turned my head to see a 70-something year old man, with long dark gray hair and a scraggly beard. His skin was slightly tan and covered in wrinkles, and he was virtually un-recognizable compared to the innocent young blonde boy from the yearbook, if it weren't for his eyes. There was no denying that the eyes were still a brilliant blue. He was wearing 

"Um, are you Todd Anderson?" I asked. 

He squinted his eyes suspiciously at me, before replying, "Yeah. Can I ask who you are?"

"Um, we've never met before Mr. Anderson, but I'm a student at Welton Academy." This caused him to visibly stiffen and narrow his eyes even more at me.

"What are they doing a 'torture alums' assignment or something? Look, I graduated from Welton over 50 years ago, so if you're looking for advice or anything like that I'm not going to be much help."

 

"No, sir, that's not what I'm here for." I reached into the pocket of my jeans and pulled out the black and white picture that I had found in the yearbook a few days before. "I was looking through old yearbooks the other day, and came across a yearbook that had this picture in it."

Todd's eyes widened when he saw the picture, and he snatched it out of my hand to stare more closely at it. A mixture of emotions flashed across his face, from sadness to anger to happiness, before he looked at me in confusion. 

"What do you want from me? How'd you even know it was me in the picture?"

"I found you, and a couple of the other boys in the yearbook." I paused, considering whether I was actually going to go through with this. "Um, and I was wondering if you knew anything about Neil Perry."

Todd's eyes were filled with sadness, and he briefly shook his head before looking me in the eye, and replying, "Yes, I know a lot about Neil Perry actually. He was my roommate, and best friend for the short few months that we knew each other. Why do you care?"

At the time, I really didn't know. Looking back on it now, I can see that it was just the fates playing their games with me and trying to make things right, but I had just accepted at the time that I was curious. 

"I thought Welton was just this boring, prep school that nothing exciting has ever happened at, sir. So, finding out that a student died here, and then finding a picture where two other people are complete mysteries, was like an adventure to me. So, my curiousity has officially been peaked, and if I don't find out what happened, then I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life."

Todd looked at me sadly, before shrugging and opening the door wider, allowing me in. I gave him a brief smile as I passed him, but he refused to make eye contact. I walked into his little house to find a small living room with hardwood floors, dark brown couches, and a small wooden coffee table that had empty bottles of whiskey and open poetry books scattered across it. The only beautiful thing in the room was Todd's bookshelf, which was stacked with probably hundreds of books, along with a few family pictures, as well as a diploma from Colombia University. 

"Uh, want anything to eat or drink...?" Todd asked, awkwardly standing in the centre of the room.

"No, thank you." I replied, taking a seat on the couch. Todd sat on a large rocking chair, still looking at the photo with sadness, but also a hint of what looked like love. "So, you were Neil's roommate?"

"Uh, yeah." Todd started, breaking out of his trance. "I started at Welton a lot later than everyone else did, and by the time I got there, Neil was practically a superstar. He was the most popular guy in school, he was smart, handsome, athletic. He had every right to be a total asshole to me, but he wasn't. He welcomed me in to his friend group, and I'm sure you figured out who they were, with open arms. He was like a superhero." Todd paused, a small smile etched onto his face. "But every hero has a villain. And Neil's was his dad. His dad was determined for him to go Harvard and become a doctor, even if it made him unhappy. I remember, the first day of school, his dad made him quit the school annual, and when Neil tried to argue with him, he got even angrier. Plain terrifying." Another pause. "Anyways, we had a new English teacher that year, Mr. John Keating. That's the teacher in the picture. He was different from every other teacher there. He encouraged us to seize the day, make our lives our own, not conform to the rules of society. He told us about a club he was a part of when he attended Welton, the Dead Poets Society. Neil took it upon himself to restart the club, and forced me to join. We went to the old Indian cave and read poetry, and smoked and drank and were absorbed in the magic of it all. It changed our lives, you know? Anyways, Neil decided to join a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream at Henley Hall, as Puck. He loved every second of it, but then his dad found out. His dad forbid him from doing it, but Neil being Neil, he did it anyways. He was fantastic. I think he could've made it on Broadway or something if... if he kept going." Todd had tears in his eyes now, and I had a feeling the bad part of the story was coming. "Anyways, his dad came to the show. He dragged Neil out of the theatre and took him home, and I don't know what happened after that, but Charlie woke me up the next morning and told me that Neil had shot himself in the head while his parents were asleep. God, it was like the world had ended or something. I went out into the snow and vomited and screamed until my voice was gone completely." Todd furiously wiped at his eyes, and I was shocked to find my own filling with tears as well. "Everything went to hell after that. The Perry's requested that the school do an investigation into what caused their son to kill himself, and to avoid punishment Cameron finked about the club and Mr. Keating's lessons. Charlie punched him for it and got expelled. That's why he's not in the yearbook at all. After that, we were all forced to sign a document stating that Neil's death was Mr. Keating's fault, even though it wasn't, and Mr. Keating got fired. WE, uh, all stood on our desks and saluted him on his last day. He deserved it."

"Did you get in trouble?" I asked, my voice almost a whisper. 

"Oh we got months and months of detention for it. Especially Knox, Meeks, Pitts and I. The school never did forget about the Society. It's not like we hadn't suffered enough over the past few months as it was, but the school felt the need to really salt the wound after our little desk stunt."

"And then what?"

"We graduated. I went to Colombia and majored in English literature, Knox became a successful lawyer and got married to this girl he fell in love with, Chris Noel. They have three kids together now, probably a couple of grandkids too. Charlie's on his third wife, and he ended up becoming a rich banker in New York. Pitts and Meeks became engineers, and they both got married eventually. Cameron I don't know about, and frankly I don't care. He betrayed us."

"You never got married?" I asked. I had considered telling Todd that Cameron would go on to become our headmaster, but I didn't want to anger or upset him anymore.

"No. Never found the right person, I guess." Todd looked back down at the picture again, the tears flowing down his cheeks. 

Something clicked in me then, the way that Todd was looking in the picture, the way he described Neil like he was a god, how devestated he was with Neil's death...

"You did." I stated, and Todd looked up at me in surprise. 

"Pardon me?"

"You found the right person. He just died in 1959."

Todd let out a small sob, and I could feel my heart breaking in half. "Uh, yeah. Nobody could ever make me feel as special or as loved as Neil did. He made me believe in myself and my abilities as a writer, and made me feel like I belonged. Nobody was ever going to top him. Nobody." Todd sobbed again. "My God, I was in love with him."

I wanted to reach out and comfort Todd in some way as he cried, but I didn't know how, so I just let him look at the picture and sob for a couple minutes, letting my own tears fall silently as well. Eventually, Todd calmed down, and looked at me in sadness, before standing up. 

"Look, you really should be getting back to school. I wouldn't want you to get into trouble because of me. Here, let me got get a jacket and I'll drive you back." Todd started walking down a hallway, but he turned back to me and held up the photo. "Is it alright with you if I keep this?" 

"Of course." I replied, to which he gave me a small smile and continued to retreat down the hallway. 

The drive back to Welton was silent, except for the occassional sniffle coming from Todd as he drived. Eventually, we were pulling into the parking lot, and Todd's eyes narrowed in disgust. "God, I forgot how much I hated this place." He turned to me, and his eyes softened. "Did I answer all of your questions?"

I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I think so." Just as I was about to get out of the car, something clicked in my brain, and I remembered something that Todd had mentioned earlier. "The cave that you guys met at... where is it?"

"Um, it's in the woods, by the stream but before the waterfall." He looked at me curiously. "Look, I know you're curious, but don't go restarting the club or doing anything stupid like that, ok? I know it's been a long time, but I have no doubt in my mind that this school hasn't forgotten about the Dead Poets Society and I'd really hate for it to cause anymore trouble around here."

"I won't." I replied, getting out of the car. "And if I do, I won't get caught." This earned me a smile, a genuine smile, from Todd. "Thank you, Mr. Anderson."

"Your welcome, Ally." And with that, I closed the door and Todd drove off, leaving me standing alone in the parking lot. I debated going back up to my room and telling Jules about everything that I had learned, but I looked in the direction of the forest and had no doubts in my mind about what to do instead.

...

It took me almost an hour to find the cave Todd told me about, only guided by the flashlight on my phone in the ever darkening night. When I did, I nervously climbed into the small entrance, almost bumping my head on the low ceiling. I entered the cave to find that the ground was covered in mud and leaves, and the walls coated with spiderwebs. I could see little ledges and large rocks around the cave, which is where I'm assuming the boys sat. But on one wall of the cave, perched on one of the bigger ledges, there was torn out picture of Neil's memorial framed, along with a dusty blue book that looked as if it was falling apart. I picked the book up and blew as much of the dust off as I could, to discover that in gold writing the front of the book said, "A Hundred Centuries of Verse." I opened up the wrinkled first page to discover that in neat writing on the first page, it said "To be read at the opening of D.P.S meetings" I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life! To put to rout all that was not life, and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived - H.D.T." Huh. I closed the book and put it back down, and looked to the third item on the ledge: a lamp of a blue and white man that had the shade removed. Weird. I peered around the cave, seeing if there was anything else hidden there, but all I could find was a pile of cigarettes, a couple of empty wine and whiskey bottles, a Midsummer Night's Dream script that must have been Neil's, and for some odd reason, a gold saxophone. 

I turned back to the picture of Neil, and ran my fingers over face, not caring if they got covered in dust. 

"Oh, Neil Perry. You don't even know how many people you hurt when you died, or how many still miss you to this day. I just wish you hadn't done it."

I can't really describe what happened next, but all I can remember was that the weird lamp started glowing, and then everything went black for a second, and then I was sitting in a completely empty cave, everything that must have been left there by the boys completely gone. The sun was shining, which was even weirder, considering it had been dark when I first entered the cave, and what was even weirder than that was that my phone was gone, and instead of the jeans and t shirt I had been wearing, I was now wearing my Welton uniform, consisting of the black blzaer and beige skirt, my hair pulled up into a tight bun. I slowly stood up and walked out the entrance again, to find that it was now daytime outside. My only explanation was that I had fallen asleep and was dreaming, but subconsciously I knew that this wasn't the case. I started to walk back in the direction of the school to find that the parking lot was completely full of cars, and continued walking past all the old cars through the front door. 

The school was suspiciously empty, or at least I thought it was until I heard voices coming from the assembly hall. I walked in the direction to find that the doos were wide open and the benches were packed full of people. There was an old man with wisps of white hair, dressed in a black robe standing in front of the room, giving a speech to the crowd. I awkwardly sat down on a bench in the back of the room, despite the curious glances coming from people around me. 

"100 years ago in 1859..."

Holy crap. My vision was filled with spots, and I couldn't even hear what anyone around me was saying, and I felt like I was going to pass out at this new information. Because even though just a couple minutes ago I was in 2018, and even though most people would probably tell me that I was dreaming, I somehow knew that I wasn't and that this was a complete reality. 

I had somehow traveled back to 1959...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this ended up being a really long chapter! Hope you guys liked it, if you did leave a heart or a comment and hopefully I'll have chapter three up soon!!!


	3. 1959

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After being sent back in time to 1959, Ally finds herself being introduced to the former Dead Poets Society member, including Neil Perry himself, and wondering how she got sent back, and how she can ever get back to her own time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry it took me so long to update but I've been having a lot of technology issues lately, so hopefully I can get those fixed soon! Anyways, I hope you like this chapter!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society, even though a lot of the lines in this chapter are taken from the movie.

Holy crap. I felt like I was about to pass out. How the hell did I manage to travel back in time to 1959? I must be dreaming. That's the only explanation that makes sense. I pinched my arm hard enough to draw blood, but remained exactly where I was. Ok, so it wasn't a dream. I decided to glance around the room and try to figure out how to approach this situation, and was shocked to find that the only other people wearing Welton uniforms were boys. Oh, right. Welton was still an all-boys school in 1959. How was I supposed to explain my presence here then?

"Before you are all dismissed, there is one more matter that I'd like to discuss. For the first time, Welton Academy will have a female student." There were murmurs all around the room at this news, either of discontent or curiosity. People were shooting me glances, either of disgust and annoyance (parents) or lust and interest (students). "Her name is Alexandria Wharton, and the reason she is allowed to attend this institution is because of her families history with the school, and we thought it only fair that she be allowed to carry on the legacy. Ms. Wharton is going to be attending classes with, and interacting socially with your sons unless we notice that they are distracted and their marks are dropping, in which case Ms. Wharton will be expected to attend private classes and eat lunch on her own. Under no circumstances will Ms. Wharton be allowed to enter any of the boys rooms, and under no circumstances should any of them enter her room. I hope your sons will act like gentlemen, and that we will have no reason to treat Ms. Wharton like anything other than a typical student. Thank you for being so accommodating to this change, and we hope we have another successful year."

Well, I guess that explains that. We were all dismissed then, and I rushed out of the room to avoid the glances cast in my direction, running towards the residency buildings where I was hoping to find my room. I managed to shoulder my way through the bustling crowd of parents and their sons, and finally entered the building, walking down the hallway until I came to a wooden door with a singular golden plaque on it that said, "Alexandria Wharton."

I sighed in relief and entered the room, flopping down on one of the beds after slamming the door shut. How the hell could this have possibly happened? And how the hell was I supposed to get back to my time? After laying with my thoughts for God knows how long, I managed to get up and examine the room, opening the closet to find it already filled with different variations of the female Welton uniform, and opening the desk drawer to find it filled with pencils and lined paper, as well as my class schedule. I continued to look through the room and think, when a knock interrupted my thoughts. 

I opened the door to find an eerily familiar-looking boy with neat brown hair, a Welton uniform, and a smirk that just screamed trouble. He was leaning casually against the door frame, and leered at me as soon as the door was wide open. 

"Charlie Dalton." He said, extending his hand for me to shake. Oh right, the guy who punched Cameron.

"Ally Wharton." I said, giving his hand a gentle shake. "But I'm assuming you already knew that."

His smirk just grew wider, and he was about to say something else when, another voice interrupted, "Jesus, Charlie! Leave the poor girl alone it's her first day."

Another boy stepped into the door frame, with the same neat brown hair and Welton uniform, but his face was kinder and more gentlemen-like. He smiled at me, extending his hand. 

"I'm Knox Overstreet." The one who married Chris. "You must be Alexandria. Sorry about Charlie, he's incapable of controlling his hormones most of the time."

"No worries." I replied, smiling back at him. "I'm sure I've dealt with worse. And you can call me Ally."

"Hey, guys!" I heard, and looked down the hall to see a boy with curly red hair and large glasses who I immediately recognized as Steven Meeks coming towards us. His eyes widened and he stopped as soon as he saw me, and I couldn't help but smirk. 

"Um, hi! I'm Ally." I waved, hoping to ease the awkwardness. I guess I would have to deal with this a lot here. After all, most of these boys didn't usually interact with girls their own ages. He awkwardly walked closer to us, and I could see that Charlie and Knox were trying not to laugh. 

"Uh, Steven Meeks." He shook my hand, but wouldn't take his eyes off me. Eventually, he snapped out of it, looking at Knox and Charlie to continue what he had said earlier. "Neil's here, and I think he's got a new roommate!"

Knox and Charlie nodded and started to walk away, I'm assuming in the direction of Neil's room, and I was about to turn back into mine before Charlie turned his head and called out, "Hey, Ally, you should come with, meet Neil!"

I knew that I should probably say no, that it wasn't allowed, but my curiosity immediately took over and I knew that I wanted to meet the infamous Neil Perry who had taken Todd's heart, and then ripped it in half when he put a bullet into his brain. So, I shrugged and followed the boys down the hallway, until we finally reached an open door, and I peered into the room to see two familiar looking boys unpacking their respective suitcases in silence. 

"Rumour has it," Charlie started, "you did summer school."

Neil turned around with a smile, his handsome face lighting up with joy when he noticed his friends all standing there. "Yup, chemistry. My father thought I should get ahead." He paused, reaching forward to shake Charlie's hand. "How was your summer, slick?"

"Keen." Charlie replied, moving to enter the room along with Knox and Meeks. I was about to follow, when I realized that I wasn't allowed to enter any of the boys rooms under any circumstances. 

"You must be the new girl." Neil said, shaking my hand with a smile. "I'm Neil Perry" I could only smile and nod, shaking his extended hand. I noticed so many things about him that I couldn't tell from the picture in that moment, from the sparkling of his kind brown eyes, to the confidence that radiated off of him in waves. I could understand how easily it was to be drawn to Neil. "You're welcome to come in if you want. I don't mind."

"I can't." I replied. "It's against the rules."

"Oh, please." Charlie responded, stretching himself out on Neil's bed. "As long as you don't get caught, no one cares. Oh, and shut the door behind you."

I reluctantly nodded and stepped into the room, shutting the door behind me at Charlie's request. I awkwardly leaned on one of the desk as all the other boys found places to sit in the room. 

"Gentlemen," Neil started, leaning against the windowsill. "What are the four pillars?"

"Travesty, horror, decadence, excrement." All the boys, except for Todd, replied in unison. Todd was still awkwardly unpacking his suitcase, and had refused to say a word to anyone so far, and he was also the only one not wearing a Welton uniform. I suddenly smelled tobacco, and looked over to see that Charlie had lit a cigarette and was now smoking it on Neil's bed. 

"You smoke in your dorms?" I asked, incredulous. 

"Yeah." Charlie answered, clearly not caring about my obvious disgust. "Want one?"

"No thanks." I replied, covering my nose with my hand. I guess it was the fifties, and no one really cared as much about smoking in this time period. 

"So," Charlie continued, unfazed by the interaction, "study group. Meeks aced Latin, I didn't quite flunk English, so if you want, we got our study group."

"Sure," Neil answered, "Cameron asked me too. Anyone mind including him?"

"What's his speciality, boot-licking?" Charlie asked. I guess Cameron's always been a kiss-ass.

"Uh, he's your roommate." Neil said.

"That's not my fault!" Charlie answered, and all the boys burst into chuckles. I looked over at Todd, who was still awkwardly unpacking his suitcase, slightly shaking his head, and I couldn't help but feel a slight twinge of sympathy for him.

"Uh, sorry, my name is Steven Meeks." Meeks said, finally noticing that Todd was there. 

"Oh, this is Todd Anderson." Neil said, giving Todd a light shove. Todd shook all of our hands as we introduced ourselves but still barely said a word to any of us other than the traditional "Nice to meet you". "Todd's brother is Jeffrey Anderson." Neil said, taking the cigarette out of Charlie's hand and taking a drag, to my disdain. The other boys immediately made sounds of recognition, but I remained silent, admittedly having no idea who Jeffrey Anderson was. 

"Valedictorian, national merit scholar." Charlie said, and Todd shook his head, almost in embarrassment. I knew how he felt. As soon as people at Welton heard my last name, they immediately expected me to be some sort of genius like my father, brother and grandfather were, even though I clearly wasn't. 

"Who's your family, Ally?" Knox asked. "Nolan said you were here because of your legacy. I'm here because my father's an alumni."

"Um," I started, realizing I didn't know who my family was that attended here before 1959. "I have quite a few family members that have been here."

The boys seemed to accept this with shrugs and nods. 

"Well," Meeks started. "Welcome to Hell-ton, both of you."

"It's just as tough as they say." Charlie said, with a smirk. "Unless you're a genius like Meeks."

"He flatters me. "Meeks explained, and I couldn't help but smile at the interactions I was witnessing. There's no doubt these boys were fun to be around. "That's why I help him with Latin."

"And English, and Trig." Charlie coughed, choking on the cigarette smoke. Serves him right. 

The laughing and joking was interrupted by a loud knock on the door, spurring a flurry of movement. Charlie stood up and stamped his cigarette under his shoe, Neil stepped off of the window to wave his arms through the cloud of smoke, and Knox pointed for me to jump in a closet, shutting the door behind me so whoever was there wouldn't get me in trouble. 

"It's open!" Neil yelled, and I could hear someone stepping into the room. 

"Father." I heard Neil say, his voice cracking. "I thought you'd gone."

I heard the other boys greeting Neil's dad, and I tried to peer through the cracks in between the door, but couldn't see what was going on, so I just pressed my ear against the door to listen. 

"Neil, I've just spoken to Mr. Nolan and I think you're taking too many extracurriculars this semester, so I've decided that you should drop the school annual." Neil's dad said. 

"But I'm the assistant editor this year." Neil said, and I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"I'm sorry, Neil." His father replied, but it was clear to me that he wasn't actually sorry. 

"But Father I can't. It wouldn't be fair!" Neil exclaimed, but was interrupted.

"Fellas," his dad said, and I could hear the anger in his voice, "would you excuse us for a moment?"

There was silence, followed by footsteps leaving the room. I opened the door a crack, and saw all the boys except for Neil sitting silently in their spots, the door still wide open. Charlie and Knox both held up a finger to their lips, signalling for me to be quiet. I then heard the voices coming from the hallway.

"Don't you ever dispute me in public, you understand?" I could hear the angry tone of Mr. Perry's voice. 

"Father, I wasn't disputing -"

"After you've finished medical school and you're on your own, then you can do as you damn well please, but until then, you do as I tell you. Is that clear?" Damn. From Todd's story, I could tell that Neil's dad was harsh but I wasn't expecting this. 

"Yes sir. I'm sorry." Neil's voice, which had been loud and confident just seconds before, was now meek and quiet. 

"You know how much this means to your mother, don't you?" The edge was now taken off Mr. Perry's voice, but it still didn't necessarily mean he was being nice. 

"Yes, sir. You know me, always taking on too much." There was an uncomfortable laugh added on to the end of Neil's sentence as he tried to ease the tension. 

"Well, that's my boy. Now listen, you need anything, you let us know, okay?"

"Yes, sir." I could hear the slap of a handshake and then heavy footsteps walking down the hallway. There was a couple moments of silence before Knox and Charlie left the room, presumably to check up on Neil, leaving Meeks, Todd and I alone. 

"His dad is really strict." I said, trying to avoid eavesdropping on the conversation coming from outside. 

"Yeah, Mr. Perry's a dick." Meeks replied. "He never lets Neil do what he wants. All he cares about is that Neil goes to Harvard and becomes a doctor. He doesn't care if his own son is happy." Meeks paused, shaking his head. "Welton may be hell, but for people like Neil, it's an escape from the even worse hell that's home. At least here he doesn't have to deal with his dad every day."

I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Todd had turned his head and was listening intently to what Meeks was saying, sadness and realization dawning on his face. It occurred to me then that things didn't seem fantastic for Todd at home either. When his brother was brought up in the conversation, Todd looked almost sad, as if the thought of his family hurt him. 

Meeks stood up then and left the room, and I followed despite the fact that I could get caught. Before I could leave though, I turned back to Todd. "You alright, Todd?"

He looked up at me in surprise, before answering with a quiet, "Yeah. Yeah, I'm okay."

I nodded and gave him a smile, before following Meeks out the door. When I did, I noticed that Neil was leaning against the wall, a look of sadness and dejection on his face, and Charlie, Meeks and Knox were standing in front of him with looks of concern. 

"Well, uh, Latin, eight o'clock in my room?" Meeks said, trying to ease the obvious tension. 

"Yes." Neil answered, clearly glad for the change in conversation. He stood up and moved to enter his room again, signalling that for him, the conversation was over. 

"Todd, Ally, you're welcome to join us." Meeks said, gesturing to the both of us. I did decent in Latin in the future, but I knew I could probably use a refresher, so I agreed. Todd only nodded and gave a quiet "Thanks."

Everyone dispersed then, moving to their respective rooms, and I trudged along back down the hall until I reached my room, closing the door behind me when I entered. I still wondered if I was going to go to sleep tonight and then wake up in my room with Jules the next morning, not knowing anything about Neil Perry or Todd Anderson or anything like that. I knew that probably wasn't going to happen though. 

But really, how bad could staying in 1959 really be? I liked the boys, and maybe it was even a chance to set some things right, like maybe I could force Todd and Neil to be together, or maybe I could even prevent Neil from dying...

Wait a minute. Before I got sent back, I had said that I wished Neil Perry didn't die. Maybe I had been sent back in time to prevent Neil from dying. Maybe if I could do that, I'd be sent back to my time and everything would be okay again.

Neil Perry, I though, you are not going to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it, please leave a comment letting me know what you think and hopefully I'll be able to upload chapter 4 soon!!!


	4. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is mostly a filler chapter where Ally is able to interact more with the boys and get to know who they really are and what they believe in, however also witnesses some period-typical scenarios that shock her to her very core.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Do not own.  
> Warning: Some period typical homophobia and anti-feminism in this chapter, but don't worry, Ally and the other boys manage to stand up to it! :)

I managed to hide away in my room without interruptions for a couple more hours before they called out for dinner. I was considering staying in my room and hiding away, but the growling in my stomach protested otherwise. I reluctantly stood up and walked out the door, finding myself almost trampled by the crowd of boys that was practically sprinting down the hallway towards the cafeteria. 

"We aren't usually very patient." I heard, and looked to see Knox exiting his room, which was right across from mine and next to Neil's. I had the joy of being right next to Charlie and Cameron. "The food here may suck, but it's better than nothing, and it's all we really get fed."

"That bad, huh?" I asked, even though I knew that the food at Welton sucked. Jules and I tried to sneak out for dinner almost every day in our first year or two, but after getting caught or almost caught so many times, we started to give it up in favour of just swallowing the Welton food as fast as possible to avoid tasting it. 

"Yeah." Knox answered. "I think today we're having turkey dinner though, which is usually pretty decent." We walked in silence for a couple more minutes, before Knox turned to me again. "What school did you go to before you came here?"

Oh shit. Admittedly, I hadn't even begun to think of a backstory, even though that should of been my first priority. I frantically began to think of the schools that I knew were nearby here, before blurting out, "Ridgeway High."

"Oh, yeah just down the road." I nodded, glad that he had accepted the answer without asking any more questions. We had reached the dining hall at this point, where Neil, Todd, Meeks, Charlie and two other boys were sitting. I recognized the ginger one immediately, even though he was significantly younger now than what I was used to. The tall one looked familiar, but I couldn't seem to be able to place a name. 

"Ally, this is Richard Cameron and Gerard Pitts. They're friends of ours. Guys, this is Ally Wharton, she's new this year." Neil introduced, and I shook both of the boys hands, Gerard's with a smile, Cameron's with a hint of a glare. It seemed the feeling was mutual though, because he certainly didn't seem thrilled or excited to see me either. 

"Oh, we know." He said, his lip turned up in disgust. 

"Got a problem, Cameron?" Charlie asked, his voice dripping with annoyance. I remembered that Charlie was Cameron's roommate, which was ironic considering Charlie probably hated him the most out of anybody from the sounds of it. 

"I just don't understand their reasoning for having a girl here. This school has been an all boys school for one hundred years now, I just don't understand the sudden desire to break tradition. They're literally breaking off one of their own four pillars!" 

"Breaking tradition isn't always a bad thing." I answered, sitting across from Charlie and starting to scoop food onto a plate. "If tradition had never been broken, none of us would probably be here, and plus, I think it could do some of you guys good having a girl around here."

"What do you mean?" Knox asked. 

"Most of the guys don't even seem to know how to interact around girls, let alone speak to them." I eyed Meeks sympathetically, after witnessing his awkwardness around me earlier. He blushed and looked down in return.

"Um, excuse me?" Charlie interrupted, the smirk that seemed to always be there still present on his face. "I think I'm pretty good at talking to girls."

"Definitely not as good as you think you are." I answered, and everyone burst into laughter. Clearly, Charlie considered himself to be the big ladies man around here, and I'm sure he's the type of guy that would brag about his various "flings" whenever he got the chance. "The first impression I got of you was that you're only interested in the physical aspects, and are kind of a douchebag. After all, the first thing you did when you saw me was check me out and try to flirt with me. That may get you sex, but it'll never get you a girlfriend."

Charlie looked temporarily awestruck, but recovered quickly. "What if I only want sex?"

I shrugged, looking him in the eye and smirking, and remembered what Todd had told me, that Charlie was currently on his third wife in the future. "That's your choice." The other boys were silent, watching us interact. Charlie eventually broke the eye contact, giving Knox a smirk, who just rolled his eyes at his friend. 

"So," Neil started, trying to break the tension, "how is it supposed to work with you here, Ally? Class-wise?"

"I'm really not sure." I said. "Mr. Nolan left a letter for me saying that I wasn't allowed to participate in any gym classes for obvious reasons, but other than that I think I'm just going to be a regular student in each of your classes." 

"Will you be sharing a shower with us?" Charlie asked, lifting one eyebrow. 

"No." I smirked. "I have my own private bathroom on another floor. Be nice to me though, and maybe I'll let you borrow it sometime."

Charlie's smirk grew, and I could see the other boys exchanging knowing glances. I decided to ignore them though, and looked at Todd instead, who had yet to say a single word. He was silently sitting next to Neil, looking down at his plate as he picked at his food. He was clearly uncomfortable around the other boys, and I couldn't help but pity him. I noticed Neil giving him glances too every once in a while, and it was obvious the boy felt concern for his roommate. 

"Are you enjoying your meal, Ms. Wharton?" I heard, and looked up to see the same old man from the opening ceremony, who I assumed to the be the headmaster, Mr. Nolan. 

"Yes, sir." I replied, glancing down awkwardly at my still-full plate. The other boys had gone silent, starting to pick at their meals as well. All conversation seemed to have stopped at the arrival of the headmaster. 

"Hm. You might want to adjust your skirt, Ms. Wharton. I left a copy of the dress code on your desk the other day, I hope you read it and will have no problems following it. I wouldn't want anybody getting distracted because of you." Mr. Nolan walked away with a final nod, and I awkwardly adjusted myself so my skirt completely covered my thighs, avoiding the stares coming from the boys. I continued eating silently, blinking back the tears that were threatening to spill out at the embarrassment around them, knowing they would never understand how I was feeling at that moment. I knew life was a lot harder for girls in this time period, but I didn't expect to face that this early on in my adventure. I felt a nudge on my side, and turned to look at Knox. 

"Just ignore what Nolan says. That's what most of us do. And in terms of the uniform, you only have to wear it on school hours. On weekends we can whatever we want and they don't care, and if they do, they can't really say anything."

"Plus," Charlie interjected. "you're lucky. It's like 100 degrees outside and we all have to wear pants. At least you get a skirt."

"What about in the winter?" I said, a smile starting to emerge. "I'll freeze to death."

"You can borrow one of our sweaters to cover your legs." Neil said. "We're all at least little bit bigger than you are." 

"Okay." I said, and started laughed despite myself. Yeah, these boys were okay. 

…

Almost immediately after dinner, we all went to Meeks and Pitts' room to practice Latin. Well, all of us except for Todd. He had made up some sort of excuse about wanting to practice on his own instead, despite our insistence that he come along. So, now we sat in various parts of their room reciting Latin verbs over and over again, with Meeks leading the charge. Apparently he was top of the class in Latin, much to Cameron's annoyance. I had quickly learned a lot about the boys in this short time, for example Neil was set to be valedictorian, not just because of his marks but because of his personality and charm that made everyone like him, Charlie had made it his personal goal to get expelled from Welton somehow, and had come very close to flunking out a few times now, Knox was really smart too, but he got distracted very easily, Cameron was a total prick who needed to be the best at everything, and Meeks and Pitts were both engineering geniuses who built stuff in secret in their spare time. I had come to know them and befriend them in this short time, and felt that even though I was different from them in a major way, I had still been initiated into their friend group. 

It was a good feeling. 

"Neil, what's up with your roommate?" Charlie asked, lighting yet another cigarette in his mouth. I swear this was his fourth one in the past hour. 

Neil pursed his lips. "I don't know. I think he's just shy. He'll break out of his shell eventually I'm sure, once he gets to know us."

"I think he's a stiff." Cameron muttered, rolling his eyes. My confused look at the term must have grabbed Charlie's attention.

"Doesn't like girls." He said, raising his eyebrows. 

I looked over at Neil, who just shook his head in embarrassment and went back to his Latin book. I narrowed my eyes at him, before turning to Cameron.

"What's the big deal?" 

"About what?" He replied, annoyed. 

"Guys not liking girls." I replied, shrugging my shoulders. "Or girls not liking guys."

Knox narrowed his eyes at me. "Are you...?"

"No." I answered, understanding what he was implying. But I knew someone who was. 

Jules is bisexual, and has been for a while. I remember how nervous she was to tell me, afraid that I would request a new roommate, but at that point she had already been my friend for years and nothing she told me would change my perspective of her. She had sobbed when I told her that. She still hasn't told her parents yet because they were always on too many business trips to really care about her or pay attention to how her life is going.

"It's literally written into the bible that guys should not lay with guys and girls should not lay with girls." Cameron said, pulling me out of my thoughts. "Plus, it's just gross."

"I personally think people should be allowed to love who they want to without being judged for it." Charlie said, and when everyone looked at him, he just took a thoughtful drag on his cigarette. I gave him a small smile in thanks when his eyes landed on me, and he just smirked (obviously).

"I agree." Knox said, shrugging too. "Love is love anyways." 

The rest of the boys, besides Cameron, murmured their consent, and I could see Neil slowly brightening up a little bit. Huh. Maybe there was something Mr. Perfect was hiding from us all. 

We ended up spending a couple more minutes in Meeks and Pitts' room before I had to quietly sneak out to avoid getting caught and the rest of the boys eventually dispersed into their rooms as well. My heart was absolutely swelling with joy. As much as I hated to admit it, I almost expected these guys to be complete sleazebags from the fifties who were completely anti-feminist and homophobic, yet they were quick to come to my aid when Mr. Nolan embarrassed me and showed their support for people who were gay (except for Cameron but let's not get into the douchebag.) And at this point in time, I had already started to feel like things were going to be okay for me here. Maybe 1959 wasn't such a bad year after all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I personally love this chapter and the way that Ally and the boys interact, but leave a comment letting me know what you think and hopefully I'll update soon!


	5. Seize the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their first day of classes, Ally and the boys are introduced to Mr. Keating, the new English teacher who encouraged them to seize the day and make their lives extraordinary, and who would eventually change all of their lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not own DPS!!

I woke up the next morning and temporarily forgot where, or should I say when, I was. I turned to my side, expecting to see Jules' brown curls poking out from under her blankets, but instead was faced with an empty bed across from me and the sound of boys shuffling around in the hallways. I groggily got up and pulled on the beige skirt, practically yanked the buttons off of the white blouse in my hurry to get up and get dressed. I was considering putting the blazer on, but I knew it was warm outside today and I'd end up taking it off anyways. I lazily put my hair into a French braid, and put the lightest dusting of makeup possible on my face so I didn't look like a zombie. After quickly running to the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I went back to my room to see all the boys, except for Cameron, sitting in various places waiting for me, all dressed in some variation of the Welton uniform themselves. 

"What are you guys doing in here?" I exclaimed, rushing to grab a bag to carry all my books in. 

"Figured you and Todd would need help finding classes on your first day." Neil said, standing up to help me with my books. 

I was about to say I knew where all my classes were when I remembered that it was supposed to be my first day ever at Welton, and so thanked the boys with a smile to keep my cover. Todd was standing awkwardly at the door, and I could see the uncomfortable tension in his body as everyone moved to leave. He glanced at me quickly, before awkwardly following along, leaving me as the back of the train. It was complete chaos in the hallway as boys ran around getting ready, and the stairwells were even worse. It was a complete standstill as boys yelled at each other and threw things down or up at each other, and I could hear a deep voice shouting out, "Slow down boys!" from somewhere in the mess. 

Eventually we managed to reach the first class, chemistry, where a fairly young teacher dragged on and on about all of the assignments that we had to do this semester, causing Charlie to roll his eyes and Knox to look at me disbelief. Then we moved on to Latin with Mr. McCallister, and recited the same verbs we had done with Meeks the night before, then it was the dreaded trigonometry with Dr. Hager, where we listened to the torturous speech of how important precision was and how all of our homework needed to be handed in on time. By the time we got to English, the last class of the day, I was bored and exhausted, and my arms were about to fall off from how heavy all of the textbooks were. We entered the English classroom to find it completely empty, so took our seats, mine being at the very back beside Charlie and behind Pitts. We all chatted and the boys threw spitballs at each other before we were interrupted by the sound of whistling. 

I looked up to see a fairly young man with messy brown hair and a kind face walking through the room, casually whistling a familiar-sounding tune. Mr. Keating. If his face didn't give him away from the picture that I saw, then his attitude certainly did. There was no way this wasn't the teacher Todd admired so much that he risked expulsion to stand up for. 

We all stared at each other in confusion as Mr. Keating walked around and then out of the room. It was silent for a moment before he popped his head in and said, "Well, come on."

There was giggles and confusion around the room before we all quickly grabbed our English books and ran out, eager to follow Mr. Keating and see what he had in store for us. We were eventually lead to the main foyer, which was filled with black and white photos of past graduating years and various awards that students had received during their time at Welton. Hm. It had gotten a lot bigger since this time. 

"Oh, Captain, My Captain. Who knows where that comes from?" Nobody said anything, but out of the corner of my eye I could see Todd's head lift as if he knew the answer, but then he silently shook his head and looked down again. "Not a clue. It's from a poem by Walt Whitman about Mr. Abraham Lincoln. Now in this class you can call me Mr. Keating, or, if you're slightly more daring, Oh Captain, My Captain." There was slightly uncomfortable chuckles coming from around the room, with all of us being unsure of this new teacher. "Now let me dispel a few rumours before they fester into facts: yes, I too, attended Hell-ton and survived. And no, at that time I was not the mental giant you see before you, I was the intellectual equivalent of a ninety-eight pound weakling. I would go to the beach and people would kick copies of Byron in my face." We all laughed again, and I looked over and caught Neil's eye, giving him a smile and a shrug in regards to our new teacher, which he returned. Mr. Keating had paused to look at the various papers he was holding in his hand. "Now, Mr. Pitts. That's a rather unfortunate name. Mr. Pitts, where are you?" We all chuckled at the joke, and I shot Pitts a sympathetic glance, but he ignored me and just awkwardly raised his hand. "Mr. Pitts, would you open your hymnal to page 542 and read the first stanza of the poem you find there?" We all opened our books, and I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I saw the title of the poem.

"To the virgins, to make much of time?" Pitts reassured, once he had gotten to the page.

"Yes, that's the one." Mr. Keating replied. "Somewhat appropriate isn't it?"

"Gather ye rosebuds while you may, old time is still a flying, and this same flower that smiles today, tomorrow will be dying." Pitts recited.

"Thank you, Mr. Pitts. 'Gather ye rosebud's while you may.' The Latin term for that expression is Carpe Diem. Now who knows what that means?"

Meeks hand shot up. "Carpe Diem. That's seize the day."

"Very good, Mr...."

"Meeks."

"Meeks. Another unusual name." I looked over at Meeks to see his expression, but he just smiled and nodded. "Seize the day. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may. Why does the writer use these lines?"

"Because he's in a hurry." Charlie called out from his spot near the door, eliciting another eye roll from me.

"No, ding!" Mr. Keating said, causing us all to look back at Charlie and laugh. I noticed that Charlie and Neil made eye contact and shared a look almost of approval, as if by Mr. Keating saying that he had become their new favourite teacher. 

"Thank you for playing anyway." Mr. Keating continued. "Because we are food for worms, lads, and lady. Because, believe it or not, each and every one of us in this room is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold, and die." We had all gone dead silent, and I couldn't help but look back at Neil, knowing that if I didn't fix everything he was going to turn cold and die in just a couple of months. His face was completely solemn, and he shifted as if uncomfortable. I wondered then if he had ever considered death as an escape beforethe night he killed himself, if he had ever considered taking a gun to the head before then. 

"Now, I would like you to step forward over here and peruse some of the faces from the past. You've walked past them many times, but I don't think you've really looked at them." Mr. Keating pondered, gesturing towards the glass display case. We slowly moved forward to gather around the cases, and Mr. Keating moved aside to give us space. "they're not that different from you, are they? Well most of you." He gave me a small wink at that. "Same haircuts, full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you. Their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because you see gentlemen, and lady, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper ther legacy to you. Go on, lean in." We all hesitantly leaned in towards the photos, looks of disbelief on most of our faces. "Carpe." I heard, and looked in the direction of Mr. Keating, the secret that it had been not so much of a secret to us. He kept playing though. "Hear it? Carpe. Carpe Diem. Seize the days boys, make your lives extraordinary." 

You could hear a pin drop in the room, it was that quiet as we absorbed everything we had been given. I will admit, Mr. Keating caught my attention from the very beginning. I had never had a teacher like him before in my life, and it was obvious to me that none of the boys had either. I could understand now why Todd adored him so much. Eventually, the bell rang, breaking the spell he had put over us, and we all rushed back to the classroom to grab our bags and books, hurrying out of the building back towards the residences. 

"That was weird." Pitts said as we walked down the stairs.

"But different." Neil replied.

"Spooky if you ask me." Knox gave in. 

"Think he'll test us on that stuff?" Cameron asked. God, he was dislikable even as a teenager. 

"Come on Cameron, don't you get anything?" Charlie said, the annoyance obvious in his voice. 

"What?" Cameron asked, but the other boys just ignored him and chuckled. I managed to squeeze my way in and walk in pace next to Todd, who was still silent. 

"What'd you think of him, Todd" I asked, and I could see Neil turn around to see if I would get an answer.

"I-I", he mumbled, barely audible, "I thought he-he.."

"Nevermind." I eventually said, giving up with a slight shake of my head. It was obvious Todd was relieved with this though, by the breath of relief he gave. I made eye contact with a sad-looking Neil, who only shrugged before turning away again. 

"Where are you going, Ally?" Meeks asked. "You know, since you're not allowed to do gym with us."

"I'm going to head up to my room for the night, try and figure out some of this trig homework."

"We have a study group later on." Knox said. "In the common room. You're welcome to join us if you want." 

"Sure, that'd be great." I said, giving all the boys a goodbye smile as they all walked to their dorms to get a change of clothes for gym, and I walked into my room to get an early start on all of my homework. At this point, I thought I had everything figured out about what was going to happen. Charlie was going to continue to flirt with me without succeeding, Knox was eventually going to meet and fall in love with Chris Noel, Neil was going to find out about the play, and eventually Todd would break out of his shell. Little did I know how much of an impact I really could make on their lives, or how big of an impact they could make on mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter, please leave a comment letting me know what you thought, and I'll try to have chapter 6 up soon! Thank you so much to everyone who has read so far and liked it, nothing makes me happier than waking up in the morning to an email telling me that someone has left me kudos or a comment. :)  
> PS: I promise the chapters won't just be the movie script, but I want to keep this as accurate as possible so just bear with me!


	6. What's Your Deal?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just more content of Ally interacting with the other boys and having some fun conversations because I was bored and felt like writing something relaxed :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo two chapters in one day! Sorry this chapter is kind of boring, but I felt like adding something fun for you guys to read! 
> 
> Don't forget, I do not own Dead Poets Society.

While the boys were in their gym class, I managed to be slightly productive with my time, completing the chemistry homework and attempting/failing to do some of the trig questions, before hopping in the private shower they had provided me to give some semblance of privacy in the otherwise very public school. I even had time to dry and style my hair and put on a change of clothes, finally relieved to be wearing normal clothes for once in the past few days. It felt like hours later before I could finally hear the boys running up and down the hallways and slamming their doors as they yelled and shouted, probably just coming back from the showers themselves.

"Hey Ally!" I heard from outside. It sounded like Charlie. "Study hall in five minutes!" And then I could hear him running off again down the hallway. I grudgingly got up from my desk to gather my books, leaving the sanctity of my room to see the chaos that was the hallway, with boys running around gathering their things to meet downstairs. I walked to Neil and Todd's room to pass some time before everyone else was ready, making sure that there was no teacher around to get me in trouble, before lightly knocking and entering when I heard a come in from the other side.

"Hey, Ally." Neil greeted, nodding at me. "You coming to study group?"

"Yeah, I could really use some help with the trig homework." I answered, scanning the room to find Todd, who for some reason, wasn't present. "Where's Todd?"

"He's still in the shower." Neil said, before pausing as if thinking about something, and then moving to close the door, hiding us from public view. "You know, it was really weird. He wouldn't shower when the rest of us were there, he just stayed in his uniform and stared at the ground until everyone was gone." He paused again, and I remained silent to let him voice his thoughts. "Do you think he's ever going to break out of his shell? I mean, I've met some shy people before, but none like Todd. He can barely even speak to anyone without stuttering."

"You have to give him some time, Neil." I said, taking a seat at Todd's desk. "He's only been here two days, and he barely knows any of you. Once he gets to know you guys I'm sure everything will be fine and he'll be talking so much you're going to wish his shell had never been broken." Neil smiled a little at this, but I could tell he was still down about the whole situation. "Is he coming to study group tonight?"

"No, he said he wanted to do some history instead." Neil layed down on his bed, pulling out a cigarette and lighter from a hollowed out book on his desk. "Do you mind?" he asked, but the stick of death was already in his mouth. 

"Yes," I answered, "but go ahead anyways." He smiled at this. "Aren't you guys afraid you're going to get caught someday?" 

Neil shook his head. "Believe me, we take risks, but at the end of the day all of the teachers smoke too and as long as we're in a room with a door that can close there's no way of them ever catching us." He took a thoughtful drag at that point, letting the smoke billow in his lungs before blowing it out. "You know, we don't have any history homework."

I nodded my head at this, understanding where Neil was headed. "Yeah, I kind of figured that out."

"Maybe he just hates us." Neil thought aloud, the worry etched on his face. It had become obvious to me at this point that Neil had some hidden feelings that he wasn't telling anyone about, and those feelings seemed to revolve around a certain blonde-haired shy boy that slept in the bed next to him. 

"He'll come around, Neil." I said, standing up to sit next to him on the bed. "Just give him some time. Trust me, you guys are going to be best friends soon."

Neil smiled at me reassuringly, before sighing and stamping his cigarette out into a small ashtray that he kept under his bed. "We should probably go. Study group is going to be starting any minute now and Charlie doesn't like it when people are late."

Right on cue, Charlie barged into the room, yelling at Neil to come on, and then ran out again. Neil and I chuckled before grabbing our books and walking to the common room where a large group of boys was already there. Some of them turned to stare at me as I walked in, but eventually got over it and went back to what they were doing originally. Some of the boys were playing darts with a plastic skeleton on a bulletin board, Meeks and Pitts were working on their latest illegal project, a radio, at one table, and Cameron and Charlie were at another table doing trig homework. Knox and Todd were nowhere to be found. Despite my dislike for Cameron, I took a seat along with Neil at their table, figuring I could use the homework help. 

"I already got an explanation for Todd, but where's Knox?" I asked, opening up my trig book. 

"Having dinner at the Danburry's." Charlie answered. "They're alumns, probably friends of his dad."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Cameron said. "We're stuck on question five, do you guys mind helping us out?" 

Neil and I both grudgingly opened our books to the appropriate question, with Neil squinting for a few seconds before finally putting a large pair of glasses on to examine the question. Of course, I knew I wasn't going to be any help with how shitty I was at trig, so I just listened to the boys, or should I say, Cameron and Neil, debate how to solve the problem. Charlie just looked at me confused every couple seconds, and we exchanged blank stares as the two smart guys argued. Charlie pulled open a fresh page in his notebook, and scribbled something down before passing it to me. It said: "Why were you in Neil's room?"

I scribbled back; "Talking about Todd."

Charlie read the note confused before mouthing, Why?

I took the notebook back and wrote in messy handwriting, "He's concerned that Todd isn't hanging out with you guys at all, thinks that Todd might hate him. Does he always care about his roommates this much?" 

Charlie read the note, smirked, and then looked up at me and shook his head. He picked up his pen and showed me another note, which said, "Don't tell anyone, but I don't think Neil really likes girls. He's the only guy here who hasn't asked to borrow any of my Playboys for some 'private' time."

I smirked, before writing out, "So you think he might like Todd?"

"He definitely seems to care about him a lot." Charlie wrote, before adding, "Who do you like?" with a smirk. 

I rolled my eyes at him, and was about to answer before Knox walked in and dramatically leaned against the door, grabbing our attention. 

"How was dinner?" Charlie asked. 

"Huh?" Knox asked, clearly not paying attention.

"How was dinner?" Charlie reiterated. 

"Terrible. Awful." Knox answered, taking a sit at our table. 

"Why? What happened?" 

"Tonight," Knox started, a look of happiness forming on his face, "I met the most beautiful girl in my entire life." 

"Are you crazy?" Neil exclaimed, voicing all of our thoughts. "What's wrong with that?" 

"She's practically engaged. To Chet Danburry." 

"Who's Chet Danburry?" I asked. 

"Guy who used to go here, but flunked out. He's a total jerk, could eat a football." Charlie got a confused look on his face, before asking, "Didn't you used to go to Ridgeway? Shouldn't you know him?"

Shit. I blanked for a couple seconds before awkwardly stuttering, "Uh, we didn't really have any classes together. I'm sure I've seen him before, but we've never talked or anything like that."

The other boys seemed to accept this without consequence, but Charlie remained looking at me suspiciously. I tried my hardest to avoid his gaze, but it was like he was trying to bore holes into me. 

"That's too bad." Pitts said, drawing Charlie's stare away from me. 

"Too bad?" Knox exclaimed. "It's worse than too bad Pittsie, it's a tragedy. A girl this beautiful in love with such a jerk."

"All the good ones go for jerks, you know that."

"Thanks, Pitts." I said, to which he just shrugged. 

"Ahh, forget her." Cameron intejected, clearly done with the distractions. "Open your trig book and try and figure out problem five."

"I can't just forget her, Cameron. And I can't think about trig." Knox exclaimed, clearly distraught.

The conversation was interrupted by a high pitched whistling sound, and we all turned to see that Meeks and Pitts were freaking out over their radio. The excitement was cut short, however, by Dr. Hager walking into the room. 

"All right everyone, five minutes. Let's go." 

We all quickly packed up and moved to leave, but Charlie wouldn't leave without leaning down to whisper in Knox's ear, "Did you see her naked?", causing a chuckle from Neil and a slap in the back of the head from me. We left then, leaving Meeks and Pitts alone to explain why they had a radio. 

"I can't believe this is happening again." Charlie said to Neil as we walked up the stairs. 

"What's happening again?" I interjected. 

"Knox meets the most beautiful girl in the world at least once every couple of months." Neil explained. "He's completely in love with them for a bit and does everything he possibly can to get their attention, and when they eventually reject him or show no interest whatsoever, he gets depressed for a while longer before eventually he finds a new girl more beautiful than the last."

"He's a romantic." I said shrugging. "Nothing wrong with falling in love every once in a while."

"There's a difference between being romantic and being unrealistic, though." Charlie said. "Knox has crossed that line many times, believe me. I've known the kid for years now and I don't even think he's been kissed before. If he continues on like this he's never going to get married."

I couldn't help but chuckle, and murmur to myself, "If only you knew." 

"What was that?" Neil asked. 

"Nothing." I quickly covered up, much to Neil and Charlie's confusion. "Say goodnight to Todd for me, Neil." Neil escaped into his bedroom at that point, and I was left alone in the hallway with Charlie, who was still eyeing me suspiciously. 

"What's your deal?" he asked, leaning against the wall. 

"What do you mean, Charlie?" I asked, just wanting to leave this conversation and enter my room in piece. 

"You seem to be able to read us all pretty well, and you claim you went to Ridgeway yet have no idea who Chet Danburry is." He exclaimed. Shit. There's no way I would be able to explain to Charlie, or anyone for that matter, what exactly my "deal" was. 

"I don't have to explain myself to you, Charlie." I said, entering the room. 

"But you will eventually!" Charlie called out before the door could close in his face. I couldn't. There's no way I could ever explain it to the boys, no matter how close I got to them, they couldn't know what could happen to them or why I was really there. They couldn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this chapter, please leave a comment or a kudos letting me know what you think and I will try to update as soon as possible!


	7. What Will Your Verse Be?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The students are shocked by Mr. Keating's declaration that they have to think for themselves and contribute a verse to the powerful play that goes on, something they have never been told to do before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I'm shocked how quickly I've been able to bust out chapters so quickly, guess that's what happens when you have no homework lol! Hope you guys like this chapter!

The next day dragged on about the same as the first day did, each class being more boring than the one before it. The only reason any of us were still awake and paying attention in the slightest was because of the anxiousness we were all feeling to get to English with Mr. Keating and see what he had in store for us next. When we finally did get there, Mr. Keating was sitting quietly at his desk, and waited patiently for us all to sit down and turn our attention towards him. 

"Students, open your text to page twenty-one of the introduction. Mr. Perry, will you read the opening paragraph of the preface, entitled 'Understanding Poetry'?" Mr. Keating started, and Charlie looked at me in confusion and annoyance at the sudden change in who was quickly becoming one of his favourite teachers. I just shrugged and opened up my syllabus to the appropriate page.

"Understanding Poetry, by Dr. J. Evans Pritchard, Ph.D." Neil started. "To fully understand poetry, we must first be fluent with its meter, rhyme, and figures of speech. Then ask two questions: One, how artfully has the objective of the poem been rendered, and two, how important is that objective. Question one rates the poem's perfection, question two rates its importance. And once these questions have been answered, determining a poem's greatness becomes a relatively simple matter." Mr. Keating stood from his desk then and prepared to draw something on the chalk board. "If the poem's score for perfection is plotted along the horizontal of a graph, and its importance is plotted on the vertical, then calculating the total area of the poem yields the measure of its greatness." Mr. Keating had begun to draw the graph on the board, and I could see that a couple of the students, including Cameron, had started to copy it down. I looked over to Charlie, who was drawing in his book, and peered over to see that instead of drawing the graph, the idiot was drawing boobs. He noticed me staring and smirked. 

"Are you twelve?" I whispered to him in annoyance. 

"Luckily for you, no." He whispered back. 

"A sonnet by Byron may score high on the vertical, but only average on the horizontal. A Shakespearean sonnet, on the other hand, would score high both horizontally and vertically, yielding a massive total area, thereby revealing the poem to be truly great. As you proceed though the poetry in this book, practice this rating method. As your ability to evaluate poems in this matter grows, so will - so will your enjoyment and understanding of poetry." Neil finished, removing his reading glasses so he could see the board. 

Mr. Keating turned away from the board and smiled at us, before saying, "Excrement." We all looked up in shock at the word. "That's what I think of Mr. J. Evans Pritchard. We're not laying pipe, we're talking about poetry. I mean, how can you describe poetry like American Bandstand? I like Byron, I give him a 42, but I can't dance to it." There were small chuckles coming from around the room, and I could see Charlie's interest peaking. "Now I want you to rip out that page." We all looked at Mr. Keating as if he had gone completely mad, and really I think he had. It was common knowledge that the school payed a lot of money for, and greatly valued, these textbooks. If we ripped a page out, we would probably be suspended, or expelled, and we would definitely have to pay for the damage. 

But Mr. Keating didn't care. "Go on, rip out the entire page. You heard me, rip it out. Rip it out! Go on, rip it out." 

I heard a ripping sound coming from nearby, and looked beside me to see Charlie triumphantly holding up the ripped page, much to everyone else's shock and delight. 

"Thank you, Mr. Dalton. Students, tell you what, don't just tear out that page, tear out the entire introduction. I want it gone, history. Leave nothing of it. Rip it out. Rip! Begone J. Evans Pritchard, Ph.D. Rip, shred, tear. Rip it out. I want to hear nothing but ripping of Mr. Pritchard." We all hesitated before finally the sound of ripping and tearing filled the room as we destroyed our books. "We'll perforate it, put it on a roll. It's not the bible, you're not going to go to hell for this. Go on, make a clean tear, I want nothing left of it." 

Mr. Keating left the room at that point to enter his office, leaving us to rip and tear at his request. I looked in front of me to see that Cameron was still hesitating. 

"We shouldn't be doing this!" He exclaimed, turning around to look at Neil. 

"Rip, rip, rip!" Neil encouraged, pushing Cameron back around, where he put a ruler to the page and ripped it out. We had begun tossing the pager around and laughing, when a large bang interrupted us all. 

"What the hell is going on in here?!" Mr. McCallister bellowed, his face red from anger. We all immediately stopped what we were doing, and I could see out of the corner of my eye that Charlie had shoved the crumpled up paper in his mouth, causing me to have to stifle my laughter.

"I don't hear enough rips!" Mr. Keating declared, exiting his office with a wastebasket.

"Mr. Keating." Mr. McCallister said in shock.

Mr. Keating was unfazed though, and steadily replied, "Mr. McCallister." 

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here."

"I am."

"Ah, so you are. Excuse me." Mr. McCallister slowly backed out of the room, much to our enjoyment. 

"Keep ripping." Mr. Keating declared, beginning to walk around the room to collect our ripped papers in his wastebasket. "This is a battle, a war. And the casualties could be your hearts and souls. Thank you, Mr. Dalton." He said, in reply to Charlie spitting the paper out of mouth. "Armies of academics going forward, measuring poetry. No, we will not have that here. No more of Mr. J. Evans Pritchard. Now in my class you will learn to think for yourselves again. You will learn to savour words and language. No matter what anybody tell you, words and ideas can change the world. I see that look in Mr. Pitt's eye, like nineteenth century literature has nothing to do with going to business school or medical school. Right? Maybe. Mr. Hopkins, you may agree with him, thinking 'Yes, we should simply study our Mr. Pritchard and learn our rhyme and meter and go quietly about the business of achieving other ambitions.' I have a little secret for you. Huddle up. Huddle up!" We all quickly got out of our seats and gathered around Mr. Keating, anxious to hear what he was going to say next. "We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. Medicine, law, business, engineering, these are all noble pursuits, and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for! To quote from Whitman: 'O me, o life of the questions of these recurring, of the endless trains of the faithless, of cities filled with the foolish. What good amid these, o me, o life?' Answer: that you are here. That life exists, and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse." He looked up at Todd then, whose face was filled with awe. "What will your verse be?" 

The bell rang then, and we all silently left as Mr. Keating sat back down at his desk without another word. 

"You know," Charlie started, on our way to the cafeteria, "I've never had a teacher in my entire life who encouraged us to think for ourselves instead of the mechanic thoughts that the school puts in our brains." 

"I like it." Neil proclaimed. "We should be able to stand up for ourselves and our ideas if we want to. Like Mr. Keating said, we all have a verse to contribute. Why not contribute it? 

"What do you guys actually want to be when you're older?" I suddenly asked, thinking of what Todd told me, that all of the boys except for him had ended up pursuing noble pursuits except for him. 

The boys were silent, and it dawned on me that maybe they had never had the question asked before. That the only response they had ever had was what their parents had always wanted them to be.

"My dad would disown me if I didn't become a doctor." Neil sadly replied. "I've never really been given the option of anything else." He shook his head at the thought. "I'm going to go look for something, okay? Save me a plate, I'll catch up." And with that, he ran off.

"Ally," Knox started, filling the silence that had consumed up since Neil had left. "I don't know what life is like for you, but my dad's a lawyer. Charlie's is a banker. And I'm sure Todd has to live up to whatever his brother did. If we don't follow the path our parent's have laid out for us, we either get disowned or killed. The only reason any of us is even at this school is because our parents want to be assured that their sons are going to do amazing things someday and not bring shame to their family name. So when you ask us questions about what we want to do, don't be surprised when you don't get an answer." 

"You guys have never even thought about what you wanted to do? Nothing that might make you guys happy?" I asked, incredulous. 

"You have?" Cameron asked. 

Truth be told, I knew my parents wanted me to do something practical, like be a lawyer or a teacher, but they had never explicitly stated it, giving me the chance to think about what I could potentially want to do. But honestly, the fear that I would let my parents down had always weighed down my options, so I had just accepted that I would be doing something practical. "No. I guess I haven't." 

The boys had different responses to this, ranging from sadness at the situation, to 'I told you so' at my response, to not caring and just accepting the fact that life was what it was and there was nothing we could do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this story has been kind of lacking in Anderperry content, but I promise once I get this story started, there will be so much more you guys are going to be sick of it!
> 
> As always, please leave comment or like and I will update soon!


	8. The Dead Poets Society

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Ally's dismay, the boys discover Mr. Keating's yearbook, and with it, the Dead Poets Society, setting the whole journey up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys here is chapter 8! I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has been bearing with me throughout the story so far, I promise it's going to start getting interesting very soon! I was actually planning out what this story is going to end up as throughout the day today, and it's actually quite long and will get really emotional and interesting in just a bit, so stick with me here guys!  
> And don't forget, I do not own Dead Poets Society!

We all ate in silence without Neil there, off doing whatever it was that he wanted to do, wherever it was that he needed to do it. It had become clear to me even in the short time I have been here that Neil was the de facto leader of the group, and what he says, goes, and it was obvious. The rets of the boys practically idolized him, and seemed almost lost without him there to start conversation, and the only thing that did was make me grieve for them even more that they had lost their leader and best friend in such a tragic way. Eventually, the quiet spell was broken when Neil came running up to us with a yearbook in his hand. 

"Hey, I found his senior annual in the library." He declared, sitting down next to me at the table and passing the book across from him to Cameron. We all pushed and shoved each other, trying to get a look at who it might be that he had found, and ended up being faced with a black and white photo of a teenage boy with the name under it: John Keating. He had a smirk on his face, but his kind brown eyes nearly gave away his identity before I even looked at the name. "Listen to this," Neil continued, "captain of the soccer team, editor of the school annual, Cambridge bound, thigh man and the Dead Poets Society." Something clicked in my brain then, something Todd had mentioned about the Dead Poets Society...

"We went to the old Indian cave and read poetry, and smoked and drank and were absorbed in the magic of it all. It changed our lives, you know?"

The Dead Poets Society was the reason Neil joined the play, which is what led to Charlie being expelled and Mr. Keating being fired, which all lead to me being sent back in time to try and change history. The Dead Poets Society was the reason for this entire shit show that was their life and mine, so why should I allow it to happen now when the boys were just finding out about it? I had the power to change history, so I should do it. Right?

"Man most likely to do anything." Cameron read from the annual, breaking me out of my thoughts. 

"Thigh-man. Mr. K was a hell raiser." Charlie laughed. 

"What's the Dead Poets Society?" Knox asked. God, why couldn't I say anything? And in addition to that, I was getting major deja vu at this point. Knox's voice was starting to sound like mine, asking what DPS stood for in the library with Jules and Josh standing next to me, staring at a picture of the same boy that was sitting next to me now, leading to this whole damn adventure. 

"I don't know." Neil replied. I still couldn't say anything!

"Is there a picture in the annual?" Meeks asked. 

"Nothing. No other mention of it." More deja-vu.

"Ally? Are you okay? Ally?!" I heard, and looked over at Knox, who was looking at me with concern. I noticed all of the boys were staring at me in concern just like Knox, and I wondered just how panicked I must have looked in that moment, thinking about the Dead Poets Society and deja-vu and Neil's death. It probably looked as if I had seen a ghost or something. 

I swallowed back the intense nausea I was starting to feel, ignored my headache, and tried to put a convincing smile on my face, but I knew that I had failed and not a single one of them was convinced. "Yeah. Yeah, don't worry about it, I'm fine."

Charlie looked like he was about to reply, but then we heard the voice of Mr. Nolan approaching from nearby as he reprimanded a student, forcing us all to shut up and eat in silence, and Cameron to close the yearbook and shove it under the table so Nolan couldn't find out what we had been doing. 

"Enjoying your meal, Mr. Perry?" He asked, his voice sounding like nails on a chalkboard. I just hoped he didn't feel like attacking me again today, because I was starting to hate him more than Mr. Cameron, and my brain was already so fragile right now that I didn't think I would be able to handle it. 

"Yes, sir. Very much." Neil replied, plastering a smile onto his face like I had done just seconds before, except when he did it, it was convincing. Todd did say he was a talented actor.

"Good. Now, how are you students liking Mr. Keating?" 

The boys all gave sounds of approval, but it was Charlie who spoke up. "We were just talking about him, sir."

"That's good to hear. He has a very impressive resume, he was a Welton society candidate when attended this institution." 

The boys all awkwardly nodded, and I could tell that they were thinking the exact same thing I was: Please go away so we can be happy again. 

"Carry on." Mr. Nolan continued, seeming to get the hint, and then he walking over to the next table to terrorize another group of students. 

"Carry on ripping." Charlie joked as soon as he was out of hearing distance, causing us all to burst into quiet laughter and the boys to start making ripping sounds under their breath as an insult to the headmaster. 

Once we had all calmed down, Neil spoke up again. "We should ask Mr. Keating what the Dead Poets Society is." 

The guys gave their signs of consent, but I felt like I had to speak up, or do something that might discourage them. "I don't know guys, I mean clearly there's a reason the Dead Poets Society isn't a thing anymore. Maybe it isn't such a good idea to bring back memories for Mr. Keating, especially if they could be bad ones."

"I don't think there's any harm in asking." Charlie said. "Plus, you're one to talk. You're literally breaking every rule this school has ever had by being here, so what's the harm in maybe breaking another one?" 

I knew I didn't have a way to reply without telling him the entire truth, so instead I turned around to look at Mr. Keating, who had been sitting with the teachers but now was starting to stand up. "Well, it looks like he's leaving now so if you want answers that badly, you might want to get going."

The boys all frantically stood up and gathered their things so they wouldn't miss him, and not wanting to be the only person there I reluctantly followed them outside, where we could see Mr Keating walking up ahead, whistling his signature tune. 

"Mr. Keating? Mr. Keating? Sir?" Neil called out, but to no avail. "Oh Captain, My Captain?"

He immediately turned around then, much to our delight. "Gentlemen. Oh, and lady it seems."

"We were just looking in your old annual." Neil replied, passing the book to Mr. Keating.

"Oh my God. No, that's not me." We chuckled his attitude, and Mr. Keating turned around and crouched on the ground to continue inspecting the book, his back to us. "Stanley 'The Tool' Wilson... God."

Neil crouched down behind Mr. Keating. "What was the Dead Poets Society?"

Mr. Keating turned around and smiled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I doubt the present administration would look too favourably upon that."

"Why? What was it?" Neil pestered, and we all knew there was no way he was going to give this up without getting answers.

Mr. Keating looked around at all of us before saying, "Can you all keep a secret?"

All of our curiosity was now peaked, so we either bent over or crouched down to meet Mr. Keating's eye and hear his story. "The Dead Poets were dedicated to sucking the marrow out of life. That's a phrase from Thoreau that we'd invoke at the beginning of each meeting. You see we'd gather at the old Indian cave and take turns reading from Thoreau, Whitman, Shelley; the biggies. Even some of our own verse. And in the enchantment of the moment we'd let poetry work its magic."

Knox was unconvinced. "You mean it was just a bunch of guys sitting around reading poetry?"

"No Mr. Overstreet, it wasn't just 'guys', we weren't a Greek organization, we were romantics. We didn't just read poetry, we let it drip from our tongues, like honey. Spirits soared, women swooned, and gods were created, not a bad way to spend an evening, eh? Thank you Mr. Perry for this trip down amnesia lane. Burn that, especially my picture." Mr. Keating stood up then, passed Neil the book and walking away, resuming his whistling. We all stood up in satisfaction, but I couldn't help but notice that Neil stayed on the ground in silence. 

"Dead Poets Society." I heard him mutter. The school bell rang then and we all started to head back to the school for class, but it was Neil's voice that stopped us all from leaving. "I say we go tonight." 

"Tonight?" Charlie asked. 

"Wait a minute." Cameron said, and I could practically feel the nerves radiating off of him at the prospect of doing something against the rules. 

'Where's this cave he's talking about?" Pitts asked. 

"It's beyond the stream, I know where it is." Neil said. I could tell he was determined on this one, and we were all going to be at that cave whether we wanted to or not.

"That's miles." Pitts exclaimed, starting to walk away. 

"Sounds boring to me." Cameron said. 

"Don't go." Charlie said. Oh, he was definitely on board with this.

"You know how many de-merits we're talking Dalton?"

"So don't come, please."

"Look, all I'm saying is that we have to be careful, we can't get caught." 

"No shit, Sherlock."

"You kids there, hurry up!" I heard, and looked up to the window to see Dr. Hager standing in the window and watching us. Neil turned around and stopped us from proceeding forward, despite Hager's consistent yells.

"All right, who's in?"

"Come on Neil, Hager's right-" Cameron started, but was quickly cut off. 

"Forget Hager, no. Who's in?" 

"I'm in." Charlie declared. Shit. I didn'd know how I was going to handle this one when it eventually came to me. On the one hand, I knew it was a bad idea and what it could potentially lead to for all of us. On the other hand, I wanted to be a part of what had been called magical and life-changing by both Todd and Mr. Keating. 

"Me too." Cameron said, much to my disbelief. 

"I don't know, Neil." Pitts said, starting to run away, but Neil caught up. 

"What? Pitts-"

"Pittsie, come on!" Charlie cried. 

"His grades are hurting Charlie!" Meeks declared. 

"You can help him Meeks." Neil replied, turning back to look at said boy in annoyance. 

"What is this, a midnight study group?" Pitts asked, trying to remain stubborn but I knew there was no way he'd be able to say no to Neil at the end of the day. 

"Forget it, Pitts, you're coming. Meeks, are your grades hurting too?" 

"I'll try anything once." 

"Except sex." Charlie declared, earning him a punch on the arm from me. He turned to me then, as if he had forgotten that I was even there in all of the excitement. "Ally, you're coming right?" 

My internal battle was over at this point. Despite my battles and the fact that I knew it was wrong, my mind was made up. "Yeah, of course!"

"What about you Knox?" 

"I don't know Charlie."

"Come on Knox, it'll help you get Chris."

"Yeah? How?"

"Wome swoon!" Charlie laughed at that and ran inside, leaving Knox to chase after him. 

"But why do they swoon? Charlie, tell me why they swoon! Charlie!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you guys liked this chapter, don't forget to leave a kudos or comment because I love reading those! Actually, I was in a really good mood today because I got 100 hits yesterday, and it literally made what was probably going to be a really bad day (IB is hard and university applications are stressful!) actually really good! So thank you so much!


	9. Sucking the Marrow out of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo it's the very first meeting of the Dead Poet's Society! This is probably the longest chapter I've written so far, but I also think it's my favourite so I hope you guys like it!   
> PS. Sorry the dialogue seems so choppy at times, the boys in the movie talk over each other a lot in this scene, making it difficult to write out a smooth conversation. Also, in case you were wondering, the extra poems that they read here where all in the book by N.H. Kleinbaum that was based on the movie.

After the excitement that was lunch and the discovery of the Dead Poets Society we all went to study hall, where we currently sat surrounding a map of the campus that had multiple red lines drawn on it, signalling the various trails we could take to get to the cave that night. Neil seemed to be the only person who knew how to get there, besides me of course but I couldn't say anything about that, so he led the charge well the rest of us just listened. 

"Okay, follow the stream to the waterfall. It's right there. It's got to be on the banks." 

"I don't know, it's starting to sound dangerous." Cameron said, worry seeping through his voice.

"Well, why don't you stay home?" Cameron replied, the annoyance in his voice obvious. I have to admit though, I wasn't entirely against what he was suggesting this time. 

"For God's sake stop chattering and sit down." Mr. McCallister said from the front of the room, and we all rushed to quiet down. I glanced behind me at that point to look at Todd, who was sitting by himself at the next table in silence. 

"Hey Neil," I whispered, elbowing said boy to get his attention, "is Todd coming with us tonight?"

Neil glanced back at the shy boy, a flash of an emotion that I couldn't identify coming across his face. "I don't know. Let me go ask." And he practically jumped over to where Todd was sitting. Despite all of my straining, I couldn't hear a single word said between the two. 

"You know, it's really rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations." I looked over and saw the smirking face of Charlie Dalton watching me.

"I want to know if Todd is coming!" I exclaimed, trying to lean closer towards the pair. 

"Why do you care so much about Todd?" Knox intercepted, listening to our conversation.

"Is this a crush I'm sensing here?" Charlie implored, his smirk growing. 

"No!" I defended, turning to glare at the two boys. "I want him to come tonight, that's all. I think he might really like the Dead Poets Society, and it could be a chance for him to get to know all of us more and maybe open up a little bit."

Charlie looked like he was about to reply, but before he could, Neil came bouncing over to us, a wide smile on his face. "Guys, Todd doesn't want to read, so would it be okay with you if he just came and listened?"

"But Mr. Keating said that everyone read at meetings." Cameron exclaimed. "Why should Todd be an exception to the rules?"

"Oh for God's sake, Cameron." I said. "It's not going to harm you at all if he comes, so why not? He can take minutes of the meeting or something if you really want him to make himself useful."

Neil smiled widely at me, and then at the other other boys as they gave their consent, but just as he was about to go run and tell Todd the good news, Mr. McCallister's annoyed voice sounded up again. "Oh shut up, will you." This effectively silencing us all for the rest of study hall. 

...

We didn't talk about the Dead Poets Society for the rest of the night, but the plan was laid out for our escape. So I waited in my room with the lights off, my long Welton coat pulled over my flannel pajamas to shield me from the cold of the night when we went outside. My body was practically tickling with anticipation, waiting for the knock that meant it was time to go. After what felt like an eternity, I finally heard a light tap coming from outside. I opened the door to reveal the tall frame of Neil standing in the dark hallway, a finger over his lips to signal for me to be quiet. I silently followed him into the hallway and to the top of the staircase to reveal the rest of the boys waiting for us, the excitement and nervousness seeping through their pores, infecting me and everyone else around them. 

We silently paraded down the staircase, passing by Nolan's guard dog who could be silenced with a few dog treats by Pitts, and then we were out the door and into the depths of the night, the fog and the dangling branches of the trees, combined with the sounds of the owls and birds and wolves that were still awake at this time creating a magical effect on the usually boring forest that we were all so used to seeing in the day. 

We ran and ran, the boys' flashlights creating a light show on the foggy ground, the full moon providing a spotlight for us as we ran, our long coats acting like capes. I couldn't help but yank my blonde waves out of the ponytail they had been in all day and letting my hair flow behind me as I sprinted to keep up with their long legs, using the dancing lights as a guide for where I should be going. I couldn't help but scream into the silence, and the boys responded with their own yells and laughter, shoving each other out of playfulness and delight as they ran. 

I couldn't tell you how long we all ran for, but I know it felt like an eternity and a second at the same time before I could recognize the area in which we were, could see the stream flowing nearby and could hear the waterfall hitting the lake below it. Neil must have recognized it too, for he veered in another direction. Eventually I could start to see the mound of leaves that I recognized as the cave, and we all started slowly creeping around it looking for the entrance. I could see Meeks nearby, nervously probing around as he heard the sound of wolves coming from what sounded like just a few feet away. I thought I had found the entrance, and was about to shout out for everyone else when-

"Arr! I'm a Dead Poet!" I jumped, and looked behind me to see Charlie bent over in laughter, a flashlight in his hand. 

"Seriously Charlie?!" I exclaimed, having half the mind to kick him in a very sensitive area at that moment in time. 

"Guys, over here!" He called out, completely ignoring me. I shoved past him to be the first person into the cave, and was shocked at the difference in it from the haunted memorial that I had seen just a few days ago. Leaves and twigs speckled the mud on the ground, the walls dripped with water, and the cave seemed to be glowing with magic, as if it knew we were coming. 

Eventually, the other boys entered one by one and started to create a fire on the ground to create some semblance of warmth in the chill of the night, but they were unsuccessful, only accomplishing filling the cave with smoke. 

"It's too wet." Meeks said.

"God, are you trying to smoke us out of here?" Charlie said, fanning his hand in front of his face.

"No, no, the smoke's going right up this opening."

I heard a yell coming from the entrance, and looked over to see Pitts holding his head in agony, and it didn't take long before we pieced it together and burst into laughter at our poor, long-limbed friend, who agonizingly moved his way through the cave to find somewhere to sit along with the rest of us. 

"All right, all right, forget the fire." Neil declared, standing up and holding open a very familiar book. I shined a flashlight on it from my spot on the ground, and on the front I could see the gold letters that read: Five Centuries of Verse. It was crazy how different the book looked too, when it wasn't covered with dust and grime, and the pages weren't wrinkled and looked like they could fall out at any second. "I hereby reconvene the Dead Poets Society." We all cheered and clapped, and Neil took a celebratory drag on the cigarette that Charlie had offered him. "Welton chapter. The meetings will be conducted by myself and the other new intitiates now present. Todd Anderson, because he prefers not to read, will keep minutes of the meetings. I will now read the traditional opening message by society member Henry David Thoreau. 'I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life.'"

"I'll second that." Charlie declared, taking a drag on his own cigarette. I swear, it would shock me if he didn't get lung cancer someday.

"'To put to rout all that was not life, and not, when I had come to die, discover that I had not lived." Neil finished, silencing us all, except for the quiet whistles from some of the boys that acted as reactions. "And Keating's marked a bunch of other pages."

"All right, intermission." Charlie interjected, shining his flashlight in a circle on the ground as Neil started to flip through the book. "Dig deep right here. Right here, lay it down."

"On the mud?" Cameron asked. "We're gonna put our food on the mud?"

"Meeks, put your coat down. Picnic blanket."

"Yes, sir." Meeks grumbled, and I couldn't help but pity the guy. Charlie pushed him around like he was some sort of toy. "Use Meeks' coat."

"Don't keep anything back either. You guys are always bumming my smokes."

Meeks laid his coat down despite his annoyance, and everyone dumped whatever food they had managed to snag from the kitchen, including cookies, crackers, raisins, apples, my contribution of a bag of candy, and strangely, half of a bread roll.

"Raisins?" Neil asked. 

"Yuck." Knox agreed.

"Wait a minute," Charlie said, "who gave us half a roll?"

"I'm eating the other half." Pitts replied, talking with his mouth full. 

"Come on."

"You want me to put it back?" 

Despite myself, I couldn't help but giggle at the conversation. We all ate in silence for a couple minutes, and the boys passed a smoke around, before eventually Neil got impatient. 

"Okay, what should we do now?"

"You could tell a scary story." I suggested. 

"Oh, good idea!" He exclaimed. "I have a good one. It was a dark and rainy night, and this old lady who had a passion for jigsaw puzzles sat by herself in her house at her table to complete a new jigsaw puzzle. But as she placed the puzzle together, she realized, to her astonishment, that the image that was formed was her very own room. And the figure in the centre of the puzzle, as she completed it, was herself. And with trembling hands, she placed the last four pieces and stared in horror at the face of a demented madman at the window. The last thing that this old lady ever heard was the sound of breaking glass."

There were sounds of "ohhh.." and "no..." at his story, which seemed to satisfy Neil.

"This is true, this us true." 

"I've got one that's even better than that." Cameron declared, sitting up taller. "I do! There's a young, married couple, and they're driving through the forest at night on a long trip. And they run out of gas, and there's a madman on the-"

At that, we all reacted, immediately recognizing the story, finishing it for him and miming the scraping on the roof of the care that we had all heard so many times before.

"I love that story!" Cameron said in disbelief.

"I told you that one." Charlie interjected.

"You did not. I got that at camp in sixth grade."

"When were you in six, last year?"

Their argument was interrupted by the voice of Pitts reading from the book. "In a mean abode in the shanking road, lived a man named William Bloat. Now, he had a wife, the plague of his life, who continually got his goat. And one day at night, with her nightshift on, he slit her bloody throat." We all laughed at the absurdity of the poem. "Oh, and it gets worse!"

"You want to hear a real poem?" Charlie asked, standing up and starting to pull something out of his pocket. "All right?" Meeks tried to hand him the book, but Charlie pushed it away. "No, I don't need it. You take it."

"What, did you bring one?"

"You memorized a poem?" Neil asked in disbelief.

"I didn't memorize a poem. Move up." Neil moved over, allowing Charlie to stand in front of us. 

"An original piece by Charles Dalton." Meeks declared. 

"An original piece." Knox encouraged. 

"Take center stage." Pitts said, a hint of laughter in his voice. 

"You know this is history. Right? This is history." Neil said, and I couldn't help but smile at their teasing, despite the fact that I was intrigued by whatever poem Charlie had. He dramatically cleared his throat and started to unfold the page that he had pulled out, slowly unfolding it to reveal a Playboy centerfold of a nude model, to which I rolled my eyes in disgust. The boys seemed to love it though, laughing and shining their lights over her breasts. 

"Where did you get that?" Cameron exclaimed in shock.

"Yeah Charlie, where did you get that?" I countered. 

Charlie ignored us both though, and began to recite. "Teach me to love? Go teach thyself more wit. I, chief professor, am of it. The god of love, if such a thing there be, may learn to love from me."

We all began to clap and cheer for him, to which he winked and proudly smirked. 

"Wow! Did you write that?" Neil asked. 

Charlie flipped the centrefold over to show his messy handwriting. "Abraham Cowley. Okay, who's next?" 

"Oh, me!" Knox declared, taking the book from Meeks. He flipped through the pages a bit before a satisfied look crossed his face, and after clearing his throat, started to read, "How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth.-"

"Jesus, Knox." Charlie exclaimed. "Cool it already with Chris and the love shit this is serious."

"Okay, okay." Knox said, and found another poem. "There's the wonderful love of a beautiful maid, and the love of a staunch, true man, and the love of a baby that's unafraid. All have existed since time began. But the most wonderful love, the Love of all loves, even greater than the love for mother, is the infinite, tenderest, passionate love, of one dead drunk for another. Author anonymous." We all laughed at the sudden turn that the poem took, and I took the book from Knox next, wanting to join in on the fun.

"Out of the night that covers me, black as the pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul!' W.E Henley." I read, and the boys sounded their applause. 

"Okay, my turn!" Cameron declared, practically snatching the book out of my arms. "We are the music makers and we are the dreamers of dreams, wandering by lonely sea-breakers, and sitting by desolate streams; world losers and world forsakers, on whom the pale moon gleams: yet we are the movers and shakers of the world, forever, it seems. With wonderful deathless ditties we build up with world's great cities, and out of a fabulous story we fashion an empires glory: one man with a dream, at pleasure shall go forth and conquer a crown; and three with a new song's measure can trample an empire down. We in the ages lying, in the buried past of the earth, built Nineveh with our sighing, and Bable itself with our mirth. And overthrew them with prophesying and to the old of the new world's worth; for each age is a dream that is dying, or one that is coming to birth." We burst into applause at the fantastic poem, and Cameron smiled smugly. "That was by Arthur O'Shaughnessy." 

"Alright, I want to do another one." Neil exlaimed, jumping up from his spot on a stone to grab the book. "Alfred Lord Tennyson: Come my friends, 'tis not too late to seek a newer world, for my purpose holds to sail beyond the sunset, and though we are now that strength which in old days moved Earth and heaven, that which we are, we are; one equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." We grew silent, touched by Neil's impassioned reading and Tennyson's statement of purpose. "Alright, who wants to do the last poem?" 

"Me!" Meeks jumped up, flipping through the pages before smiling. "Fat black bucks in a wine-barrel room, barrel-house kings, with feet unstable sagged and reeled and pounded on the table, beat an empty barrel with the handle of a broom, hard as they were able, boom, boom, BOOM, with a silk umbrella and the handle of a broom, boomlay, boomlay, boomlay, BOOM. Then I had religion, then I had a vision, I could not turn from their revel inderision. Then I saw the Congo creeping through the black, cutting through the forest with a golden track."

Meeks continued to rap the poem, while the rest of us began making instrument sout of random items we were able to find, standing in a circle and chanting the poem with him, before eventually exiting the cave, dancing and singing our way into the forest and through the night, loud enough that people in China could hear us. We continued this until we got back to Welton, where the clock was striking two, which at that point we ran in silence back into the building and into our rooms without so much as a goodnight passing between us. I flopped down onto my bed in exhaustion, but I could hear the laughing and whispering coming from the rooms around me, and the excitement of the night washed over me like a flood, infecting my bones and blood and making me just want to laugh and sing and recite all over again. I couldn't believe how magical of a night it had been, and how much it really had affected me, straight to my very core. 

It was well past three am before I went to sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and are enjoying this story, I know I am having so much fun writing it! (hence the fact that I have somehow been managing to write a chapter a day!). Chapter 10 will hopefully be up soon!


	10. Exposing the Great Charlie Dalton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally learns how little experience the boys really have around girls, and in the process exposes one of Charlie's biggest secrets and learns the truth about the way that Neil and Todd feel about each other.

The next day, the eight of us that had been out reading poetry all night lazed our way through our classes, struggling to keep our eyes open through the unusually soothing voices of Hager and McCallister as they taught their traditional trig and Latin lessons, and there were multiple times where one of us had to shove the other awake after a five-minute cat nap in the middle of class. Despite our laziness however, we were still wide awake in English, where Mr. Keating paced up and down the rows between the desks and ran around at the front of the room in excitement.

"A man is not very tired, he is exhausted. And don't use very sad, use-" He pointed towards Knox in excitement. "Come on, Mr. Overstreet, you twerp."

"Morose?" Knox replied. 

"Exactly! Morose. Now, language was developed for one endeavor, and that is? Mr. Anderson? Come on, are you a man or an amoeba?" He stood in front of Todd's desk, who I could see was just looking up at him nervously, not saying a single word. I looked a couple seats in front of me to get a glimpse of Neil, who was just shaking his head in sadness. Todd had so much energy the night before, singing and dancing with us through the forest, but now it was like the old, quiet Todd was back with full force. Mr. Keating gave him a sad smile before moving on. "Mr. Perry?"

"Uh, to communicate." Neil guessed. 

"No!" Mr. Keating declared in triumph. "To woo women." We all chuckled at this, and a couple of the boys looked back at me in happiness, including Charlie, but I just rolled my eyes at them as the bell rang. We all gathered our books to heavy chatter and left the room with smiles on our faces. Even on days when we were suffering from a severe lack of sleep, Mr. Keating still managed to brighten us and infuse energy into our lifeless bodies. 

"Does language really woo women?" Meeks asked, directing it towards Charlie. 

"Maybe. I personally prefer to use the power of touch to woo women." He said smugly. "After all, who needs a voice when you have hands?"

"Yeah, and how has that worked out for you in the past, Charlie?" I asked, sitting down across from him at the cafeteria table and scooping some of the soup into my bowl. 

He shrugged, and I could see his confidence wavering slightly at the accusation against him. "I've gotten my fair share of girls with it."

"Meeks," I started, wanting to help the poor guy instead of hurting him like Charlie would, "talking to girls and getting to know them and their hopes and dreams may not get you a cheap hook-up like touching them will, but it will get you a girlfriend and a real relationship that could eventually lead to more."

"Seriously?" Pitts interjected. "The ladies man is wrong about what will get you a lady?"

"I wasn't wrong." Charlie defended. "I've never wanted a real relationship before, the only thing I've ever looked for in girls is just a cheap hook-up. Why bother with the feelings and all that crap when you can have a little fun for a couple hours instead?"

"Oh, and acting like a total sleazebag towards random girls and giving them a random caress here and there convinces them to have sex with you? Now I know for me, that would only get you a slap in the face." I asked, wanting to figure out the truth behind Charlie and girls, which I had deduced he wasn't telling us. 

He winced, and looked down at his food. "Uh, I've never actually had sex before."

"You haven't?!" Neil said in shock. "What about that girl, Bonnie, that you were hanging around with all summer? I thought you guys hooked up before the summer ended."

Charlie glared at me. "We made out a couple times, but never anything further than that." He looked pointedly at me. "There, do you want me to shout it out for the whole cafeteria to hear? The great Charlie Dalton is still a virgin? And don't any of you even think about giving me shit for that, because I know for a fact that you're all still virgins too."

The boys nodded their heads in shyness, and I will admit I wasn't shocked. They were hardly ever around girls, how would they possibly have ever had the chance to lose their virginity to one? And I couldn't speak up either, because I was just as inexperienced as they were. 

"Have any of you guys ever even been in a relationship before?" I asked, and noticed the bright red blushes that were glowing on some of their faces. 

"When would we have ever gotten the chance to be in a serious relationship?" Knox asked. "We're in this hell hole 10 months out of the year, the only chance we ever get to even interact with girls is during the summer and at family events during holidays, and in those cases our parents are practically glued to us."

"Okay, but you've all at least kissed a girl before right?" I asked, and was shocked that some of them were still avoiding eye contact, including Meeks, Pitts, Cameron and Todd (but that wasn't entirely abnormal). 

"I have." Neil interjected, and I could see Todd look up in shock. "Once. It was at a stupid community gathering my father made me go to. There was this girl there, Beth, and she wouldn't leave me alone the entire time, and then before I could leave, she was kissing me." He shook his head at the memory. "It wasn't really my thing, to say the least."

"Kissing isn't really your thing?" Knox said in shock, to which Neil blushed.

"I never said kissing wasn't my thing." He replied, avoiding everyone's gaze. "Just, kissing her wasn't really my thing. I don't know, maybe I just need to kiss someone else and it will change my perspective a little bit." I could clearly see the look he gave to Todd, despite the fact that it only lasted less than a second. Todd nervously glanced up to meet his eyes, and the two held a glance for a millisecond that only I seemed to notice, but that one glance spoke a message that no words could ever say, and it became clear to me then that Neil and Todd had hidden feelings for each other, and the suspicions I've been having that they cared for each other in some way more than friends were more than confirmed. 

Luckily the other boys were a lot more oblivious than I was. "I had my first kiss when I was at a family friends Christmas dinner." Knox said. "It was really just a peck though, nothing serious enough for me to determine whether or not I enjoyed kissing another person."

"What about you?" Charlie asked, clearly trying to get some sort of revenge against me. "We're all sharing our personal stories, why don't you have a turn?"

"Fine. My first kiss was a couple years ago with a random guy from my old school, and it was a dare from a friend. She ended up giving me five dollars just for doing it." I said. That was a true story, it's just some important details were left out. My first kiss was Josh, and the person daring us had been Jules, who was convinced for the longest time that Josh and I had crushes on each other all the way back in grade 9, which maybe we did at the time, but we got over it pretty quickly and have only ever been best friends since then. 

"Seriously?" Charlie exclaimed. "You expose me as a virgin and all we get is an innocent kiss on a dare?!"

"Sorry I don't claim to be as promiscuous as you do, Charlie." I said, smirking at him along with everyone else. 

The bell rang after a couple more minutes of laughter and gossip and sharing personal stories with each other, and we all gathered our books and ran up to our rooms, however I had a goal to accomplish now that some stuff had been figured out. I shoved my way through the shouting and shoving boys that crowded the hallway in my journey to find Neil before he entered the room that he shared with Todd. 

"Neil!" I called, and he turned around in surprise, raising his eyebrows at me. "Come with me, I want to ask you something!"

He glanced around nervously to make sure no one was watching who would rat us out, before following me into my room and shutting the door behind him. "What is it?"

"Neil," I started, "you know we're going to accept you no matter what, right?"

"What do you mean?" He asked, but I could see his nerves start to seep through.

"Did you mean that kissing that one girl wasn't your thing, or that kissing girls in general wasn't your thing?" I asked softly, and I could see shock fill his face at the realization of what I was implying.

"God," he said, burying his face in his hands, "if my dad found out..."

"Neil," I said, guiding him to sit on my bed, "your dad isn't here. If you feel a different way than everyone else does, then that's you, and we're all going to accept you no matter what. We were friends with you before we knew you were... homosexual, and we're going to be friends with you after we know."

He looked at me in sadness, and I was shocked to see tears prickling his eyes. "You might, but everyone else might not. Things are a lot... stricter here than they probably were at Ridgeway."

"You don't have to tell everyone, but tell your friends." I said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Including Todd."

He laughed a little bit. "You pieced that together did you?"

"You care about him?" I asked, but I knew the answer already.

"I guess so. I mean, I don't know him well enough to be able to say that I love him or anything like that, but I want to protect him, and I've never felt so... attracted to someone before, I guess. It's like a magnet or something is drawing me to him, and I can't ignore it."

"If it's any consellation, I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. The way he glances at you speaks more than any sentence could."

Neil nodded, a small smile on his face, before enveloping me in a tight hug. "Thank you." I heard him whisper, and only squeezed him tighter in response. 

"It's going to be okay, Neil." I said, pulling away from him. "I promise."

He could only nod in response, before furiously wiping his eyes and walking to the door. I would've thought he would go back to his room with Todd, if I didn't hear him mutter before he left, "God, I need a smoke." I chuckled a little and laid down on my bed, the conversation having emotionally exhausting me. I wondered if Neil and Todd were ever going to admit that they felt a certain way about each other, or if they would have ever if he hadn't of died. It's obvious that they cared about each other regardless of my interference. 

I sighed, trying to ignore the thoughts that ran through my head and focus on the pile of homework I had, but it was hard to ignore the worry, but happiness, I was feeling for Neil and Todd and their feelings for each other, and maybe wonder if pushing them together could be the anchor that Neil needs to remain living on the Earth. 

One can only hope...


	11. The Truth Behind Todd

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Ally has confirmed that Neil has feelings for Todd, it's time to figure out how Todd feels. But first, she has to get him to trust her a little bit...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow it's been a really long time since I've updated! Sorry I've been traveling a lot lately and haven't really had the time to open up my laptop, but I managed to find a couple of minutes today to type up this short little bit. Hope you like it!

Neil was leading a chemistry study group later that night which I knew that I desperately needed to go to. Along with trig, chemistry was probably one of my worst subjects, however it was one of Neil's best, being part of the chemistry club and having already taken the course in summer school, meaning he had a huge lead over the rest of us, even Cameron and Meeks. I packed up my bags late that night and prepared to head down to the common room where everyone else was probably waiting for me, when I noticed that unlike all of the other doors, the one occupied by Neil and Todd was wide open. I peered inside, expecting to find Neil getting ready too and prepared to wait for him, but instead all I saw was Todd sitting quietly at his desk, attempting to do some of the trig homework we had gotten today. 

"Hey, Todd, " I started, and he jumped a little at my voice, "why aren't you at study group with everyone else?"

"I-I wanted to get some of the trig homework done." He nervously replied. "Why-why aren't you down there? You know Charlie hates it when people are late."

"You know Meeks and Neil could help you with that, right?" I replied, purposefully ignoring his question and leaning on the doorframe, crossing my arms in defiance. "They're practically math geniuses and they barely even try."

"Yeah, I-I know." He stuttered. "But I prefer to work alone, I guess."

"Yeah I get that." I replied, moving to sit on Neil's bed despite Todd's obvious uncomfortable-ness with the entire situation. "But you don't always have to study alone, Todd. There is a reason we have study groups after all."

He seemed to whisper or mouth something, but I couldn't make out a single word he was saying. I knew with Todd my approach would have to be different than it was with Neil, who was confident and outgoing and who I knew would tell me anything I wanted to know as long as I asked. Todd, on the other hand, was blocked off and quiet and wouldn't tell anybody anything. I had to get him to trust me before he would open up a little bit. 

"Your brother is an alumni, right Todd?" I asked, laying down and angling my body so I was facing him.

He turned to look at me with a look of sadness suddenly displayed across his face. "Uh, yeah. Jeffrey Anderson. He's, uh, studying law at Yale right now."

I nodded. "It sucks." He turned to look at me in surprise. "I know just how you feel. Just about everyone in my family is an alumni. My grandpa, dad, brother. The Wharton's are legends at Welton, and everywhere else it seems." I chuckled sarcastically. "Because of it, everywhere I go people expect me to be some sort of genius, or wanting to head to law school like all the boys in my family did. Everywhere I go I have to live in the shadow of everyone in my family, and it really fucking sucks. And the difference between my family issues and Neil's is that coming to Welton is even worse than being at home because of the constant comparisons I get here." I paused, letting my words sink in. "I'm assuming the same thing goes for you?"

Todd slowly stood up from his desk and laid down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. "Yeah, just maybe not to that degree. I only have my brother, but h-he's basically a god to everyone he meets. All my life, my parents introduce me as their youngest son, and they introduce Jeffrey as their son who was a valedictorian and national merit scholar at Welton Academy, the best preparatory school in the United States, who now attends Yale, one of the best universities in the world. E-even family friends come up to me and say how handsome and smart and accomplished my brother is, and how lucky I am to have him as a role model. You know, the first words Mr. Nolan said to me when I got here was 'You have some big shoes to fill young man. Your brother was one of our finest.' And even Neil couldn't help but introduce me as Jeffrey Anderson's brother to all his friends, l-like he was embarrassed to just have some shy new kid as his roommate." Todd buried his face in his hands. "I just want to live in a world where I'm not Jeffrey Anderson's brother."

"Well, if it helps at all, I don't think any of us view you as Jeffrey Anderson's brother." He looked at me as if to say 'seriously?', to which I shrugged. "We all just see you as Todd, the shy, new kid, and we want to get to know you better so we can maybe view you as more than that but you don't really seem to want to talk to any of us."

He smiled shyly. "I-it's hard to really want to talk and get to know people when you think that the only thing they care about is who your brother is. I don't know, I guess I've spent all my life being ignored and I figured why try to get attached to people when they probably don't care that much about me anyways a-and are just going to end up ignoring me."

"Todd," I started sympathetically, "we do care about you. I want to be friends with you, believe it or not, and so does Charlie, Knox, Meeks, Pitts and Cameron."

"Wha- what about Neil?" He asked, and I didn't miss the hint of hopefulness in his voice. Hm. There was hope for these two after all.

I smirked at him. "He wants to get to know you more too. I'm not entirely sure if he wants to be friends with you, though."

"Wha-what?" He asked, his face falling. 

"I'm starting to think he might want to be more than friends with you." I said, turning to smile at him. "If you know what I mean."

Todd blushed furiously, but I could tell he was holding back a smile. "Uh, he-he... I-"

"Todd, you don't have to hide it from me. Unlike everyone else at this school, I'm not completely oblivious. I see the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you actually. If there's something there, or something that could potentially be there in the future, don't try and ignore it, and especially don't isolate poor Neil because of it."

"I-I don't... um, there isn't-"

"He's handsome isn't he?" I smirked, doing everything that I possible could to make the poor guy uncomfortable. "The cheekbones, the kind eyes, the smile. I mean, if he wasn't so obviously not on my team, maybe I'd try going after him. And his feet are pretty big too, if you know what I mean. Who am I kidding, you share a shower with him, of course you've seen-"

"Okay!" Todd's face was as red as a tomato at this point, and his eyes were the size of saucers. He looked so ridiculous I couldn't help but burst into laughter. "Y-yes he's handsome, no one's denying that."

"What about the second half of my statement?" I smirked, rolling over onto my side.

"Uh, uh, um, I-"

I burst into laughter again, and despite the situation he had found himself in, Todd started chuckling too, and eventually burst into the same level of laughter that I had been holding for the past couple of minutes now. Finally, I felt like I was making progress with Todd Anderson.

We continued laughing and joking with each other for god knows how long, and only stopped when Neil walked into the room, a look of shock on his face at the sight in front of him. "Uh, hey guys. What's going on?"

"Oh, we were just hanging out." I replied, standing up to give Neil his bed back. 

"Oh." He answered, eyeing me suspiciously. "Well, we missed you both at study group. You're going to be there next week, right?"

I nodded, and to my relief, Todd nodded too, and Neil looked as if he had just won the lottery or something. 

"Alright, I've officially wasted too much time chatting." I smiled, leaving the two boys (and hopefully soon-to-be lovebirds) on their own for now. I was about to open my door when I heard someone calling my name. I looked over shoulder to see Neil standing there. 

"Hey." He started, walking over to me. "How did you get Todd to talk to you? I share a room with him and can barely carry a conversation and you spend one hour in there and all the sudden he's a new person around you."

"I got him to trust me, Neil." I noticed the sullen look on his face, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Look, all you have to do is talk to him, get him to trust you. He wants to get to know us, Neil, we just have to give him the chance to talk."

"I have been, Ally!" He exclaimed. "He just doesn't seem to want to talk to me."

"Maybe you make him more nervous than I do." I answered, giving him a knowing smile. "Talk to him, and you'll get there."

He nodded and gave me a small smile, before finally walking away and entering his room in silence. I blew out a small breath, hoping things would ease between the two of them eventually. 

"You really think him and Todd are gonna admit it?" Charlie asked from beside me. I don't even know when he would've possibly gotten there without me realizing it, but the point is, he was there.

I shrugged. "Yeah. I just think it might take them some time."

I moved to enter my room, when Charlie called out. "I still don't understand why you care so damn much!" And instead of answering him, I slammed the door in his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this wasn't the best chapter, but it was necessary to move the story along! Hope you liked it anyways, and please leave a comment or kudos if you did! I promise chapter 12 will be up soon!


	12. Finding New Ground

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally has had heart-to-hearts with both Neil and Todd, so now it's time for her to understand how the complicated brain of Charles Dalton works...

"Today we're going to be talking about William Shakespeare." Mr. Keating started the next day, causing a collective groan among the class. "I know. A lot of you looked forward to this about as much as you look forward to root canal work. We're gonna talk about Shakespeare as someone who writes about something very interesting. Now, many of you have seen Shakespeare done very much like this:" He held out his hand dramatically and began to speak in an over-exaggerated British accent. "'O Titus, bring your friend hither.' But if any of you have seen Mr. Marlon Brando you know, Shakespeare can be different. 'Friend, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.' You can also imagine, maybe, John Wayne as Macbeth going, 'Well, is this a dagger I see before me?'"

At this point, we had tears flowing down our cheeks from laughter, even Charlie. Neil was clutching his stomach as he doubled over at the continuous impressions of Shakespeare, and I could see even Todd's face breaking out in a smile at the joy. It remained like this for the rest of the period and well into the next day, but at that time we were all gathered around Mr. Keating in a circle, our laughter cutting through his exasperated voices. 

"'Dogs, sir? Oh, not just now. I do enjoy a good dog once in a while, sir. You can have yourself a three-course meal from one dog. Start with your canine crudités, go to your Fido flambé for main course and for dessert, a Pekingese parfait. And you can pick your teeth with a little paw.'" 

The next day, we were back in our normal desks, but Mr. Keating leapt up onto his, standing tall in front of us. "Why do I stand up here? Anybody?"

"To feel taller." Charlie called out. 

"No!" Mr. Keating replied, ringing the bell on his desk with his foot. "Thank you for playing, Mr. Dalton. I stand upon my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way. You see, the world looks very different from up here. You don't believe me? Come see for yourself. Come on. Come on!"

Of course, Neil and Charlie led the charge, being the first ones out of their desks, and the rest of us reluctantly followed. They jumped up on the desk together and observed the room in awe, and Mr. Keating jumped down to look up at them and smile. 

"Just when you think you know something, you have to look at it in another way. Even though it may seem silly or wrong, you must try! Now, when you read, don't just consider what the author thinks. Consider what you think." Neil and Charlie jumped down, leaving everyone else to take turns standing on the desk. "Everyone, you must strive to find your own voice. Because the longer you wait to begin, the less likely you are to find it at all. Thoreau said, 'Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.' Don't be resigned to that. Break out!" He noticed that some students were just walking off the desk without observing anything. "Don't just walk off the edge like lemmings. Look around you." The school bell rang then as we all continued to climb up and observe the environment, and when it finally got to my turn, I was shocked to find that the room really did look different. "There! There you go, Ms. Wharton. Thank you! Yes! Dare to strike out and find new ground. Now, in addition to your essays, I would like you to compose a poem of your own, an original work." We all groaned in anguish, but of course Mr. Keating didn't care. He flickered the lights and chanted ominously at our obvious disgust, and I couldn't help but laugh. "That's right! You have to deliver it aloud in front of the class on Monday. Bonne chance." He stepped out into the hallway as we all began to gather our things. I looked over and noticed that Todd was the last person to stand on the desk, having allowed everyone else to go first before he got the chance. 

"Mr. Anderson?" I heard, and looked to see Mr. Keating standing in the doorway once again. "Don't think that I don't know that this assignment scares the hell out of you, you mole."  
Todd almost fell down off the desk in shock, and while everyone chuckled at him, I moved over and offered him my hand so he could step down without falling.

"Don't worry too much about it, Todd." I said, starting to walk out of the class with him. "He's probably just trying to get you riled up, make you work harder because it scares you so much."

He shrugged. "H-he isn't wrong, though. I can barely speak during one-on-one conversations with you guys, how the hell am I supposed to speak an original poem in front of the entire class?"

"Just pretend you're reading it alone in your room." I answered. "Or you could picture everyone in their underwear, that always works for me."

"I-I can't even write a poem." He said. "I don't even know how to begin writing a poem."

"Put your feelings and thoughts into words on a piece of paper." I said, remembering how fantastic of a poet he would one day become. "And you might end up surprising yourself with how good you are." 

He looked unconvinced, but nodded and entered his room anyways, and was shortly followed by Neil, leaving me standing alone in the hallway. Well, I thought I was alone. 

"You have got to be the worst person I've ever met." Charlie said, walking over to stand across from me. "One day you're joking around and flirting about me borrowing your shower, and then the next you're telling me that you don't have to explain yourself to me and are slamming doors in my face. Like, talk about mixed signals much."

"Sorry, Charlie." I answered, trying to walk away from him to enter my room in piece. "I'm a girl, our emotions change a lot and there really isn't much we can do about it, you know, hormones and all that shit."

"I've been around girls before and they aren't nearly as bipolar as you are." He said, following me into the confines of my bedroom. "I just think you have an issue with me."

"I don't have an issue with you, Charlie." I answered, starting to unpack my backpack and get ready to do the stack of homework I had received that day. "I just wish you wouldn't try so hard to make this weird impression on me."

"What do you mean? I'm not trying to make some weird impression on you!"

"All the flirting and dirty talking and all that crap. Why can't you just treat me like you would treat any of your other friends? Maybe if you did that I wouldn't be slamming doors in your face all of the time."

"Well, you have one clear distinction from all of my other friends." He implied, eyeing my chest. I crossed my arms and eyed him angrily.

"See, that's exactly what I'm talking about! Maybe that's the reason you're still a virgin, because you have no idea how to treat a girl like a human being!" 

"Well, all you've been doing is egging me on with your comments and smirks and all that shit!" He replied, standing up and glaring at me. I knew that there was no way I was going to get anywhere by yelling, so I took a deep breath and tried to compose my thoughts.

"Okay, Charlie," I started, "I'm not helping the situation, I understand that. But you have to admit you haven't exactly been treating me perfectly since I got here." 

He stared at me in anger for a few minutes before seemingly calming down, eyeing the floor as if he wanted it to swallow him up. "Yeah, sorry about that." He said, sitting down on my bed. "Look, I try and act as if I know everything when it comes to girls and all of that crap, but, I don't know, I guess I'm just as clueless as all of the other guys are, just maybe a bit more experienced than most of them can say." He shrugged. "So, how do you think I should treat you? What kind of conversations do girls actually like to have?"

I sat down on the bed next to him, actually willing to give him a chance. Yes, I knew he had been a douchebag to me before, but there have been hints of a eally good and sensitive guy in Charlie that I wanted to break out. "Tell me about your family." 

He stared at me in shock. "Seriously?" I nodded in return, a smile starting to spread on my face. "Okay, um, my dad is a banker, my mom is a stay-at-home mom, but whenever she has the chance to go on a trip with my dad and leave us alone with a nanny, she takes it. Frankly, I see more of the nanny than I see of my parents. Uh, I have two younger sisters and a brother, and yeah. That's about it."

"Your parents travel a lot?" I asked. 

"All the time."

"Is that why they sent you to Welton? Because they's rather have you be taken care of here than by them."

He chuckled. "No. God, we have so many nannys they never have to be parents even when they're home. No, they sent me to Welton because of how much shit I always gave them growing up. Yelling at them for never taking care of my siblings, taking their cigarettes and alcohol whenever I got the chance, acting like a homeless person during annual family parties that they care about so much." He looked down and shook his head. "Everyone thinks that I have it easy because my parents are never home and we're really rich, so I don't have to worry about my future or anything like that, but it really sucks when you go home and no one really seems to give a shit about you. When I first came here, and Neil's dad dropped him off in my room, cause we were roommates first year, I hated him at first because of how much his parents seemed to care about him. But then, as soon as his dad was out the door, he turned to me and said, 'Parents are assholes.' And I knew then and there that he was gonna be my best friend around here. He's basically my brother now, we've spent so much time together over the years. And he knows what my parents are like better than anybody else, he's spent so many summers and Christmases over at my place." Charlie looked at me with a sad smile, and shrugged. "That all you wanted to know?"

I shook my head in sadness. "God, why does everyone here have such a shitty family? Neil's dad refuses to let his son be happy, all Todd's parents have ever cared about is his brother, and your family is never around enough to give a shit about you. I just don't get how some parents could care so little about their kids."

"Why do you think we're all such best friends? We bond because we're the only people who have ever cared about each other so much. It's a welcome feeling for most of us."

I smiled at him. "I'm sorry, Charlie. For egging you on and then slamming doors in your face like that. And then for making you talk about your family."

He smirked. "Don't worry about it. I needed to be taken down to Earth a little bit anyways." He stood up and moved to leave the room, but before he could open the door, he turned back around. "Now, I'll be nice and open around you, but in front of the guys I still have a reputation to uphold, so let's pretend around them that this conversation never happened, and I'll pretend that your bra hasn't been peeking out the top of your shirt this entire time." I looked down in shock, and there it was, the top of my red bra peeking over the top of my blouse. I looked up at him in disbelief, but couldn't help but laugh. We both sat there laughing for a couple minutes, genuine joy seeping out of our pores. "Sorry. Couldn't help but point that out."

"You are unbelievable, Charlie Dalton." I said in between giggles. "But deal. Your secret that you're actually not so bad is safe with me."

He nodded and left, closing the door behind me with a wink. Okay. So, he really wasn't as much of a douchebag as I thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know Charlie was a little OOC in this chapter, but I have reason to believe that Charlie actually has a sensitive side that no one would know about. After all, he was the only person other than Todd who was crying when Neil died in the movie. And yes, the story of Neil and Charlie meeting was made up by me, but I feel like it would make sense for those two.   
> Anyways, hope you liked this chapter and I'll have Chapter 13 up soon!  
> PS. I'm starting to get really excited for the upcoming chapters, now that Ally has started to bond with the boys and the seeds are set in place for relationships to grow and stuff to start happening for everyone!


	13. A Midsummer Nights Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil discovers the play, leaving Ally confused and concerned about what she could do next.

Finally, after a torturous week of hell at Welton, the weekend had arrived. The only thing that sucked about weekends was that all the boys had various club and team meetings that I wasn't allowed to attend, so I was left to fend for myself on Saturdays and Sundays. Now, I sat on the dock overlooking the lake with an open notebook in my lap as I tried to use the beauty of the environment as my inspiration for the poem Mr. Keating had assigned us, watching the boys rowing team pass by with Nolan sitting on the head, yelling various instructions at them through a bullhorn. I managed to catch Charlie's eye, and he gave me a wink and an eye roll in Cameron's direction, who sat in front of him. I couldn't help but giggle at him, having a new view of the ridiculous boy after our talk last night. He turned to look ahead again to avoid getting yelled at by Nolan and being the cause for the boat going the wrong way, his brown hair flopping in front of his eyes and his biceps flexing with every push of the oars as he strained. 

Wait. What? No. I didn't see Charlie that way. He was just a friend after all, and that's all he could ever be to me. No matter how handsome he, admittedly, was. Wait, no.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by someone sitting next to me, and looked over to see Todd sitting there with smile. "Hey."

"Hey," I said, returning the smile with joy. I was glad the boy felt comfortable enough around me to be able to start the conversation. "How's it going?"

"A-alright." He said, eyeing my empty notebook. "Are you trying to write your poem?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but I can't really seem to come up with anything. How's yours coming along?"

He shrugged. "It's not so much that I'm struggling to come up with ideas, I just can't come up with anything that's good enough to-to share with the entire class." He shook his head. "They're all going to laugh at me. I'm going to be a bigger joke than I already was."

"Don't say that, Todd. Just tell me what you have so far, maybe it's better than you think." 

"Um, all I really have so far is 'We are dreaming of a world'." He laughed. "At least I have one line." 

"Well, it sounds like a good enough start." I smiled. "Just keep working on it, maybe it'll end up being the next Odyssey, you just don't realize it yet."

He chuckled. "Yeah, and I'll be the next Walt Whitman." I laughed, but I knew that if he kept working hard enough, that would actually come true someday. 

"You never know, Todd. Your name could be the next in Neil's poetry book, and the next generation of Dead Poets could be reading your work in the Indian cave at night."

We laughed again, until Charlie came over and sat with us. I guess rowing practice had ended. "Hey, Ally. Todd."

"Hey, Charlie." I said, wrinkling my nose at the smell as he sat down right next to me. "Um, maybe you should go get a shower or something before you start interacting with people."

"What?" He said, but I could tell by his smile that he knew I was right. "I smell like a dream, I don't know what you're talking about." He layed down on the grass and crossed his arms behind his head, exposing more of his smell to the poor noses of Todd and I. "Where's Neil, Todd? I feel like I haven't seen him all day."

"He-he's, uh, on the phone with his dad, I think." Charlie nodded, seemingly deep in thought. I stood up and nudged him with my foot, getting sick of the smell of his sweat. 

"Go get a shower, Charlie." I stood up and started to walk away, with Todd and Charlie reluctantly following me, when I saw two figures standing on the roof, jumping and dancing around in circles. "Uh, is that Meeks and Pitts?"

"Looks like they finally got their radio working." Charlie shrugged, but I could tell he was amused. We continued to walk inside in silence, Charlie turning a corner to head to the showers, and then Todd turning to enter his own empty room, leaving me in mine to work on my poem in peace. 

It was only minutes later when I was interrupted again by a commotion coming from down the hall, and left my room to see a crowd of boys surrounding Neil and Todd's room, clapping a tune and cheering. I shoved my way through the crowd to see that Neil, Todd, Charlie and Cameron were running around in a circle, jumping on the beds and throwing a notebook around, and for some reason that I still can't even begin to explain, Charlie was drumming on a pair of bongos and Neil was playing a recorder off-tune. I laughed and started clapping along with the rest of the boys. It was a joyous occasion altogther, but of course couldn't be maintained. 

"What the hell is going on here!" Dr. Hager yelled, and we all stopped the commotion instantly. I moved to hide behind the open door so it wouldn't look like I was involved in this at all, with the help of some of the other boys standing there. "Stop that noise this instant or you're all getting demerits!" 

We all quickly dispersed, and the boys in the room quickly sat down on the beds and stopped running. Once I knew that everyone was gone, I cautiously entered the room. 

"So, what the hell was that all about?" I asked. 

"I heard a commotion coming from in here, and then I came in to see what they were doing, Neil took my textbook and started running with it." Cameron said in annoyance, grabbing his chemistry textbook out of Neil's hands and leaving me alone with the other three. 

"I came in with Cameron and just kind of joined in with the fun." Charlie said, laying down on Neil's bed. "Wanna close the door?"

I rolled my eyes with full knowledge of what he was gonna do next, but did it anyways, giving Charlie the chance to pull out a cigarette and light it. "So, what were you guys doing before Charlie and Cameron joined the party?"

Neil smiled widely and grabbed something off of his bed, thrusting it into my arms. I looked at it to see a green paper with the words 'A Midsummer Nights Dream' written in large black letters on the front. Further down the page, there was more information, which was mostly along the lines of open tryouts at Henley Hall. The same feeling of dread I had felt when I heard about the Dead Poets Society seemed to reappear at that moment, knowing that it was Neil's dad finding out he was doing this play that eventually led to his death. I looked at the page in shock for a couple minutes, before noticing that Neil was staring at me in expectation. 

"What is this?" I asked. 

"A play! Henley Hall is holding open tryouts for A Midsummer Nights Dream, open tryouts! I'm going to do it, Ally! I've always wanted to act, it's what I want to do with my life, and since my father isn't here, I'M GOING TO DO IT!" He jumped up on the bed at that point, a large smile spreading out on his face. 

"Neil," Charlie started, "if your dad finds out..."

"He won't!" Neil exclaimed, anger starting to take over his features. "As long as nobody tells him. God, I haven't even gotten the part yet and people are already starting to think about what my dad wants and how my dad is going to react, jeez, why can't you guys just let me be happy that I finally have the chance to do something that I want to do!"

This silenced Charlie, and I looked at Todd, who had a look of sadness on his face, and I could tell he was thinking the exact same thing I was: Neil cannot do this play. And I knew that if Neil ended up going to these auditions, he would be getting the part of Puck, and eventually his dad was going to find out. But as much as I wanted to tell Neil not to go through with it and just do what his dad was telling him to do, but the joy on his face at the prospect of doing something he loved wasn't something I could just ignore. And I had come to know these guys pretty well over the past few days, and I knew that Neil wasn't someone who really listened to what people told him to do. So I nodded and smiled at him. 

"It sounds like it's gonna be a lot of fun, Neil." I said, handing him back the flyer. "I hope you get the part." 

He enveloped me in a quick hug before bouding back to his desk in exitement. Charlie stodd up then, and patted Neil on the back. "Good luck, Perry. Want this?" He offered Neil his half-smoked cigarette, which Neil popped in his mouth without hesitation. "So, I know Meeks and Pittsie are on the roof with their radio, but where the hell is Knox?"

"I saw him riding his bike off campus a while ago." Neil answered, filling the room with smoke as spoke. "Probably something to do with Chris, knowing him."

"Of course." Charlie said, rolling his eyes and opening the door to leave. I ended up following him out, wanting to leave Neil and Todd alone for a bit. 

"This would be the last straw for his dad." Charlie said as we walked, eventually stopping outside my door. "Neil loves pushing his buttons, but doing this would be too much. If his dad found out about this, Neil would be gone."

"What do you mean, Neil would be gone?" I asked. 

"His dad always threatens to transfer him to military school, and this would do it." Charlie shrugged. "I guess all we can really do is just hope his dad doesn't find out." 

I nodded, but as Charlie walked away, I couldn't help but mutter, "He will, though."

Charlie turned around in confusion. "What?"

"I didn't say anything." I covered quickly. "I think you're starting to hear things, Dalton."

I quickly turned away before he could question me again, slamming the door behind me for good measure. I moved back to the bed, hoping to continue working on the poem, but before I could even begin I was interrupted by the sound of knocking on my door. God, could they leave me alone for even a minute?

"It's open." I called, and Todd entered with a sheepish look on his face. 

"S-sorry for interrupting." He said, standing awkwardly in the centre of the room. 

"Don't worry about it, I hadn't even started yet. What's up?"

"It's about the play. I-I don't think Neil should do it." He said, sitting down on one of the beds. 

I nodded. "I know, Todd. To be honest with you, I don't think he should do it either. But, he looks really excited about it, and, you never know, he might not even get the part." Yes, he will. 

"I-I know that, but even if his dad finds out that he auditioned he's gonna get in trouble for it." Todd anxiously rubbed his hands together. "I, uh, tried to tell him he should just call his dad and ask if he could do it, but he got pretty pissed at me when I kept insisting."

"He didn't seem pissed at you when I entered the room." I said with a shrug. 

"Yeah, uh, that's because we started talking about why I haven't really doing anything exciting because of the Dead Poets Society, unlike everyone else. I tried to just quit the club, but he wouldn't let me do that either. And then I told him he didn't need to care so much about me and to just but out of my life, b-but the asshole literally said no. Like, those were his exact words Ally!" Todd exclaimed. "Then he took my notebook and started chasing me around the room, and, well, you know what happened after that."

I smirked. "One of these days you guys are going to take out your anger in the form of sex instead of yelling." Todd went beet red and tried to protest but I wouldn't let him. "Look, Todd, I know you're concerned about Neil, and I am too, but everything will turn out okay, I'm sure." No I wasn't. Todd seemed to accept it though. Either that or he knew there was nothing left for him to do. He stood up off my bed and moved to leave. 

"Uh, you coming to dinner?" He asked. 

"Sure." I stood up and followed him out, my nerves still feeling like they weighed 1000 pounds at the thought of the play and the repercussions that were sure to come if I didn't do anything about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hoped you liked this chapter and hopefully the next one will be up soon!


	14. To Indeed Be a God!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally is shocked with the fact that Knox is going to continue pursuing Chris Noel despite the fact that she has a serious boyfriend already, but then gets to relax during an interesting soccer practice with the boys.

Todd and I managed to make it down to dinner at the same time as everyone else, despite the delay that was caused by our earlier conversation. Dinner itself was quiet and fairly uneventful that evening for the first time in what seemed like forever, but of course nothing could possible be peaceful at this place with these boys. Because just as I was enjoying the peace of the meal, Knox came bounding into the room, his face flushed and eyes wide in excitement. 

"Guys!" He exclaimed. "I went to go see Chris!"

"What?" I asked, trying to avoid spitting the mouthful of food I had back onto the plate. Did he not say earlier that she was practically engaged to another guy?

"Yeah!" He exclaimed, taking a seat at the end of the table and excitedly scooping food onto his plate. "I biked over to Ridgeway to see her!"

"Did you talk to her?" Charlie asked, looking doubtful of his friends story already. 

"Uh, no, not really." Knox muttered, his excitement starting to fade as he stared at the table. 

"Not really? Look Knox, you either talked to her or you didn't." Cameron interjected. "So, which is it?"

"I didn't." Knox declaring, shooting a glare at Cameron who smirked in satisfaction. "She was getting ready for a football game or something so I never got the chance."

"She plays football?"

"No she's a cheerleader." The boys made noises of amusement and satisfaction at this, whereas I rolled my eyes at the stereotype and the way they reacted to it. 

"Was Chet there?" Neil asked with a knowing smile.

"Obviously, he's on the football team. Chris jumped him as soon as she got the chance. Got on the bus in his arms." Knox rolled his eyes in disappointment.

"Knox, why don't you just leave it be?" I asked. "She has a boyfriend already you shouldn't interfere with that. Plus, going to her school? It's going to look like you're stalking her."

"Ally, Chris Noel is the most beautiful girl I've ever met in my entire life!" I raised my eyebrows at him. "No offense. But I just know, deep down inside, that I'm meant to be with her! I've known it since the first time that I saw her!"

"Knox, you've barely even had a conversation with the girl. How the hell do you know you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with her?"

"I just have a gut feeling that we're soulmates!"

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, fine, let's say you're soulmates. How are you going to deal with the fact that she's already in what sounds like a very serious relationship with this Chet Danburry guy?"

"Who's a huge jerk, by the way." Pitts interjected, crumbs spilling out of his mouth as he spoke. "Maybe if you talk to her Knox, she'll realize how terrible her boyfriend is and she'll be jumping into your arms instead."

"Pitts!" I exclaimed. "You shouldn't be talking to, or flirting with for that matter, a taken girl." 

He shrugged, and I couldn't help but glare at him, and Knox for that matter. 

"Ally," Meeks said, "if you were in a relationship with a guy who's a total douchebag, wouldn't you want someone better to step in and show you what a good boyfriend could actually be like?"

"Well, clearly I would've found something likeable in the guy so, no. Also, I would hope that people trust I can make my own decisions when it comes to relationships. I'm sure there's something good about Chet that Chris fell in love with, so, you should leave her and her relationship be."

Knox shrugged. "Look, I think Chris and I are meant to be. And Ally, if I don't at least try to pursue this, I think I'm going to regret it for the rest of my life." He paused, waiting for me to react in some way, but I only stared at him silently before returning back to my plate in defeat. Knox looked slightly disappointed, but continued anyways. "Pitts, your idea is genius. Now the only problem is how to talk to her without Chet being around."

"Let's leave that for another day." Neil said, shooting Knox a look. "I have something that's actually important going on: my audition is tomorrow afternoon."

Everyone gave sounds of excitement and happiness for Neil, but when I glanced over at Todd he could only give me a sad glance. I shrugged at him before turning to Neil with smile and the goal of pretending that nothing was wrong. 

"Are you nervous?" Charlie asked, nudging Neil with his arm.

Neil laughed and shook his head. "Of course not. It's gonna be a piece of cake."

"So, what part do you want?" I asked. "You could be Lysander, Oberon..."

"I think I'm gonna try and get the part of Puck." He interrupted, a confident smile on his face.

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows. "That's basically the main part."

"Yeah I know." He shrugged. 

"You think you can handle that?"

"Have you met me?"

I smirked at him, knowing fully that he was capable of handling such a big role and that he was going to get it anyways. 

"The only thing is that I'm going to miss our first soccer practice." He continued. "You guys mind covering for me? Tell the coach that I have a doctors appointment or something."

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Charlie answered. 

… 

Since I had nothing else to do, I ended up following the boys to their soccer practice the following day, with the insistence that I wasn't going to play and just sit on the sidelines and watch. Now, I followed along with the group that was led by none other than Mr. Keating himself, a former captain of the soccer team when he was a student at Welton.

"Now, devotees may argue that one sport or game is inherently better than another. For me, sport is actually a chance for us to have other human beings push us to excel. I want you all to come over here and take a slip of paper and line up single file." While the rest of the boys all stood in a line, I moved over to sit on the grass on the sidelines to watch. "Will you be joining us, Ms. Wharton?" 

"Oh, no, Mr. Keating. I'm under very strict instructions not to participate in any sort of sports. I'll just sit here and watch." 

"I won't tell anyone." He urged, beginning to rip pieces of paper out of a notebook he was holding. 

"Uh, I'm wearing a skirt."

" That just gives you more freedom to move your legs and kick the ball."

I smiled. "You're not going to let me sit this one out, are you?"

He shook his head with a smile. "Not a chance."

I reluctantly stood up and stood in line next to Charlie, who smirked at me. "You realize when you kick, we're all going to see your underwear, right?"

"I don't even know how to play soccer." I said, ignoring his comment. "Like seriously, do you just kick the ball like you'd kick anything else?"

"Kick it like this." He stated, demonstrating kicking a ball with the side of his foot. "And keep your leg straight. You don't have to kick it too hard, just enough that it moves as far as you want it to go."

I nodded, going through the motion in my head before Mr. Keating piped up again, starting to pass the pieces of paper out to all of us. 

"Mr. Meeks, time to inherit the Earth. Mr. Pitts, rise above your name. Here, I want you to hand these out to the boys and girl, one apiece."

Once all of us had a piece of paper, Mr. Keating blew his whistle. "You know what to do, Pitts."

"Oh to struggle against great odds. To meet enemies undaunted." Pitts read off his paper, staring at Mr. Keating for confirmation.

"Sounds to me like you're daunted. Say it again like you're undaunted."

"Oh to struggle against great odds! To meet enemies undaunted!"

"Now go on." Pitts gave one of the balls lined up in front of him a strong kick, sending it flying across the field. "Yes! Next."

"To be a sailor of the world, bound for all ports!" The next boy read before giving the ball his own strong kick.

"Next. Louder!"

"Oh, I live to be the ruler of life, not a slave." Kick. Mr. Keating moved over after that one and started up a record player, which burst into a triumphant sound, effectively confusing Meeks at the front of the line up. 

"Come on, Meeks! Listen to the music."

"To dance, clap hands, exalt, shout, skip, roll on, float on." Kick. 

"Yes!"

"Oh, to have life henceforth the poem of new joys." A lazy kick followed that one. 

"Oh! Boo! Come on Charlie, let it fill your soul!"

Charlie raised his hands over his head in triumph. "To indeed be a god!" And then kicked the ball with all the force in his body, sending it flying into the air and over the field. 

We all managed to say our mini speech and kick the ball (though I had less success with this than the other boys did) before practice was over. They all ran to the public showers, whereas I had the joy of being able to go up to my own private shower and wash the scent of the field off my body, already thinking about what the next soccer practice was going to hold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, seriously, I can't be the only person who thought Knox pursuing Chris the way he did was kind of creepy. He literally stalked the poor girl after only meeting her once!   
> Anyways, hope you liked this chapter!


	15. L-O-V-E

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally and Charlie realize that everyone around them is falling in love, leading to a conversation about the reality of love and relationships and what they desire. Then, Todd comes to Ally with some exciting news...

"Charlie! I got the part!" I heard later that night, not long after showering, and opened the door to see Neil running down the hallway and pounding on various people's doors as he ran and yelled. "I'm gonna play Puck! I'm gonna play Puck!"

"What did he say?" Meeks asked, exiting his room with Pitts, both having large headphones covering their ears. I wasn't even going to ask what the purpose was for those. "Puck?"

"That's the main part!" Neil yelled in excitement, raising his voice so they could hear him. 

"That's great, Neil!" Knox exclaimed, patting his friend on the back. 

"Charlie, I got it!" Neil exclaimed when his best friend exited his room, grabbing his shoulders in excitement. I couldn't help but smile at the close friendship that the two had. It reminded me of the friendship I had developed with Jules over the years. Both of these relationships were so close we were practically siblings. 

"Congratulations. Good for you, Neil. Good for you." He replied, giving Neil the chance to move over and share his joy with me.

"I'm happy for you, Neil." I replied, giving him a quick hug. "Now, go tell Todd. I'm sure he's going to be thrilled."

Neil bounded into his room where Todd was waiting with open arms, having a quick embrace with the shy boy before sitting down at his typewriter, with Todd laying down on the bed next to him to observe his actions. I decided to join them, wanting to see what Neil was going to do next, and Charlie followed me, leaning over Neil's shoulder.

"Okay, okay, okay, okay." Neil started, attempting to steady his rapid breathing and pounding heart.

"Neil," Todd said, "how are you going to do this?"

"They need a letter of permission from my father and Mr. Nolan."

"You're not gonna write it." Todd demanded, but I think it was obvious to everyone that he was.

"Oh, yes I am."

"Oh, Neil." Todd shook his head, but his dissappointment was ruined by the smile spread across his face. "Neil, you're crazy."

"Yup!" Neil exclaimed, moving close to Todd's face as he yelled. I looked over to Charlie and raised my eyebrows with a smirk at the action, but he only shrugged and looked back to his two friends in joy. 

"Okay." Neil said, beginning to rapidly type. "I am writing to you on behalf of my son, Neil Perry." He began laughing and stomping his feet in excitement. "This is great!" 

Todd laughed at his friends excitement, placing his hand on Neil's shoulder and rubbing it gently. The look on his face at that time shocked me, the way he looked at Neil as if he was the only person in the entire world who could possibly matter, his look so filled with love and adoration even after knowing Neil for what, in the grand scheme of things, was only a short time. And when Neil looked over and caught his glance for a brief second, there was only the two of them. Charlie and I were invisible in their little world right now, exploding with passion and admiration and the love that they so clearly shared with each other. 

Charlie tapped me gently on the shoulder, clearly noticing the exact same thing that I was, and nodded his head to the door as a signal for us to leave. We silently left the two boys alone together, closing the door behind us to give them some space. Once we were alone in the now quiet and empty hallway, Charlie spoke up. 

"Clearly there's something in the water here lately." 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"Neil and Todd. Knox and his obsession with Chris." He shrugged. "Everyone seems to be falling in love lately." 

"Well, I wouldn't really consider what's going on between Knox and Chris to be love. He literally met her once and thinks she's his soulmate or something. Neil and Todd on the other hand, I think are falling in love with each other. I mean, you'd have to be completely blind to miss the looks they were sharing just then."

"Yeah," Charlie chuckled, "they were giving each other major 'fuck me' eyes."

I elbowed him. "Or, major 'You're the only person in the world who matters and I am completely in love with you' eyes. Not every relationship has to do with sex, Charlie."

He shrugged. "Either way they're gonna admit it eventually." 

"I'll agree with you on that one."

Charlie paused for a second as I opened my door, following me in and closing it behind him like it was no big deal he was breaking the biggest rule I have or that he was 100% invading my privacy right now. "Do you really think that Knox and Chris could be soulmates like he's been saying? Or, do you think the poor kid is just kidding himself like the past 20 times he's fallen in love with somebody?"

"I don't believe in soulmates." I said, sitting down on my bed. "I think you can be attracted to someone when you first meet them and want to get to know them better, but I don't believe in looking at someone and falling in love at first sight. You have to get to know someone before deciding that you're in love with them."

Charlie laid down on the other bed, folding his arms behind his head and looking at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Yeah, but I think you can form a connection or feel a bond with somebody just from one look." He turned his head so he could look at me. "And I think for some people forming a bond and having conversations just comes really easily compared to others."

"Have Knox and Chris even had a conversation?" I smirked, laying down and mimicking his position so I could look at him. 

He shook his head with a small smile. "I'm not talking about Knox and Chris anymore. Just soulmates and relationships in general."

"Look," I started, "I believe in the relationship between Neil and Todd more than the one between Knox and Chris. They met by chance, were attracted to each other, but instead of pursuing it they became friends and got to know each other more, and now they're slowly starting to fall in love with each other. When they finally do admit their feelings for each other, their relationship is going to be solid. Knox and Chris on the other hand, met once and had what sounded like a very brief conversation where they probably only learned basic information about each other. Knox fell in love with her solely based on her looks, which isn't a good base for a steady relationship, and now is going to try and get between her and the guy that she is currently in a very serious relationship with. I think if they ever get together, their relationship is either going to fail or they're going to be miserable for the rest of their lives." I looked over at him, and noticed the serious look on his face as he thought. "What are you thinking right now?"

"I think that if they got a chance to talk to each other they could easily fall in love and be happy. It's obvious that there's some form of attraction between them."

"On Knox's side." I interrupted. "We have no idea how Chris feels about him. For all we know, she could think he's the most hideous person on the planet."

"Either way," Charlie said with a small laugh, "I think he may as well give it a shot. You never know, they could be soulmates."

"Even if it means breaking up a happy and serious relationship?"

Charlie winced. "Yeah, that part I'm not so sure about. But Chet Danburry is a total dick. And that's coming from me. Any girl deserves to be saved from him."

I rolled over so I was looking at the ceiling, contemplating what Charlie had just said. "Have you ever been in love with anyone, Charlie?"

He went silent for a couple minutes, thinking. "No. I've never really looked for love or a serious relationship, and even if I had, there's no point in falling in love. Love can only ever lead to pain."

"What makes you say that?"

He winced. "People who... claim to be in love always seem so unhappy. Marriages fall apart all the time, even after these people promise to spend the rest of their lives together. I just don't understand what the point is in relationships and falling in love if it's all going to end at some point."

"Falling in love with someone though... just imagine how amazing and joyful that must be. Feeling connected to someone so strongly, even if just for a short time." I glanced over, meeting his eye with a strong stare. The moment was so intense that I could only whisper , "That beats any unhappiness that you could potentially feel later on."

We stared into each others eyes for god knows how long, just looking through each other into our souls. After at least a couple minutes of this, I broke the moment by looking away from him and clearing my throat. I sat up and stared out the window, letting the silence stay filling the room. Charlie eventually sat up too, moving to get off the bed. 

"You really have to stop making me all sensitive and capable of having genuine conversations." He said, moving to leave the room. "I don't think it suits me."

I smiled at him. "I think it suits you just perfectly, Charlie." 

He smiled at me slightly and nodded, before silently exiting the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. 

...

After a couple hours of thinking about the earlier conversation and doing what little homework I had left before Monday rolled around, a knock on my door sounded. I opened it up to see a distraught-looking Todd Anderson, who didn't even wait for my permission before entering the room. 

"Y-you were right!" He exclaimed. "I love Neil. I do, Ally, I really do!" He started pacing back and forth as I closed the door, a smile starting to spread on my face. "Oh god. Oh, he's going to hate me! Everyone's going to hate me! He'll want a new roommate, I'll get expelled, my parents are going to disown me if they find out..."

"Todd!" I yelled, effectively interrupting his panic. "No one is going to hate you."

"You don't know that!" He exclaimed, running his hands through his hair. 

"Yes, I do." I said, gently guiding him to sit at my desk. "We are going to accept you no matter who you love because it's you and because it's love. Two really amazing things. You deserve to be happy, Todd."

"Wh-what if Neil doesn't feel the same way?" He said, his voice trembling with fear.

I smirked. "Don't tell anyone this, but I know for a fact that Neil feels the same way about you as you do about him. In fact, I think he's felt the same way for a pretty long time." 

Todd looked unconvinced, but blushed anyways. "Really?"

I nodded and nudged him with my arm. "Really. If you don't believe me, just ask him yourself." Todd's face went beet red and he shook his head rapidly, causing me to giggle. "You guys compliment each other nicely. The shy boy who's afraid to open up to anyone, and the outgoing boy who tells everybody everything. But you both deserve to be loved, and you clearly make each other really happy, and there's clearly some form of attraction there."

Todd blushed. "How do I... h=how do you tell somebody that you think you might l-like them?"

I patted him gently on the shoulder. "The moment will come, and you're going to know what to do. Trust me."

Todd nodded, and nervously stood up again to leave the room. "Uh, sorry for coming in here and freaking out on you. I-I realized it when I was watching him work on his English poem and I was just kind of, l-looking at him and realized that I was looking at him the same way people in movies look at the person th-they're in love with. And I re-realized that, um, I want to be with him, forever. A-and that scared me and I didn't know who else to talk to..."

"Todd," I interrupted, "it's okay. You can come to me whenever you want, doesn't matter what the problem is."

"Tha-thanks." He stuttered.

"Todd?" I heard, and looked to the open door (seriously, I had to remember to close that when one of them was in here) to see Neil standing there, a concerned look on his face. "Are you okay? You ran out of the room so quickly I thought you were gonna be sick or something."

"Oh, uh, no, I'm ok. I j-just remembered that I had to talk to Ally about something really important."

"Oh." Neil said, giving me a concerned glance. To ease his nerves a little bit, I gave him a small smile and mouthed 'It's okay.' Neil seemed to understand what I was saying and nodded, patting Todd on the shoulder. "Well, I just wanted to make sure you're alright. You coming back to the room anytime soon?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm, uh, coming now."

Todd and Neil both smiled at me before walking out of the room and closing the door behind them. Seriously, when were they going to admit that they were in love with each other?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww!!! I loved writing this chapter so much! Sensitive Charlie, Todd and Neil being 100% completely in love with each other, Ally and Charlie getting to know each other better...  
> Let me know what you guys thought and hopefully I'll have the next chapter (time for the poems!) up asap. Thanks for reading!


	16. A Sweaty-Toothed Madman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for the poems! All the boys deliver their written works in front of the class, but when Todd's turn comes along, he does something that shocks them all...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I really should be studying for my bio test but once I started writing today I couldn't seem to be able to stop so, here's chapter 16! I can't believe I'm already halfway done with this story, and it's making me emotional thinking that just a couple months from now I could be writing the end. Thank you to everyone who has been reading and commenting, and I hope you guys will continue to read and like this story until it is over. Love you and hope you enjoy this chapter!

After the emotion-filled day that was Sunday, Monday finally seemed to roll around. However, Monday was the day of the poems, and the anticipation was practically killing us all. I could see Todd bouncing his foot throughout the entire day, the nerves looking like they were ready to eat him alive. When we finally made it to English after a day that seemed to last forever, we finally walked into class where Mr. Keating was waiting with a smile on his face. 

"Hey, Todd," I called, running to the front of the room before class started, "you okay? You've been shaking all day."

"Uh, y-yeah." He replied, but it was clear he wasn't. "I'm, uh, going to be okay. Once this is over."

"Okay, just... try not to panic." I replied, patting his shoulder as a vote of confidence before moving to the back of the room where my desk was. Neil shot me a concerned glance as I passed him, glancing at Mr. Keating before grabbing my arm. 

"He hasn't stopped working on that poem. He was pacing back and forth whispering it all night last night. I just hope it's good cause if it isn't, he's gonna be devestated."

I put a comforting hand on Neil's shoulder. "Don't worry too much, Neil. Trust me, he's gonna come up with something amazing today." I hoped. 

Neil nodded, despite looking unconvinced, before we were both forced to take a seat. Mr. Keating picked on a couple students who I wasn't entirely familiar with first, who delivered some pretty basic poems that Mr. Keating had a comment for either way. We all went with varying degrees of success until eventually it was Knox's turn to go. 

He stood at the front of the room, a piece of paper in his hands. "To Chris." I rolled my eyes to look at Charlie, who had seemed disinterestested up until this point but was now raising his head with a smile. Multiple people were muttering 'Who's Chris?', but Knox ignored them. "I see a sweetness in her smile. Bright light shines from her eyes. But life is complete; contentment is mine, just knowing that..." There were interruptions of giggles around the room at his dramatic declaration of love. Even I had to cover my mouth with my hand to avoid giving away my own delight and amusement with the poem. "Just knowing that she's alive." Knox finished, crumpling the poem in dissapointment. "Sorry, Captain. It's stupid." 

"No, no." Mr. Keating encouraged. Knox ignored him though, moving back to his desk where Charlie was eagerly waiting to give him a teasing pat on the back. "It's not stupid. It's a good effort. It touched on one of the major themes, love. A major theme not only in poetry, but life. Mr. Hopkins, you were laughing. You're up." 

Hopkins, a student I was only slightly familiar with, moved up the front of the room and pulled a crumpled piece of paper out of his pocket. "The cat sat on the mat." He triumphantly read, before confidently moving back to his desk with a thumbs up to his friend who sat in front of him. 

"Congratulations, Mr. Hopkins." Mr. Keating said amid the laughter that had started at the ridiculously simple poem. "Yours is the first poem to ever have a negative score on the Pritchard scale. We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you. I don't mind that your poem had a simple theme. Sometimes the most beautiful poetry can be about simple things, like a cat, or a flower or rain. You see, poetry can come from anything with the stuff of revelation in it. Just don't let your poems be ordinary. Now, who's next?" Mr. Keating approached Todd's desk, much to my worry. "Mr. Anderson, I see you sitting there in agony. Come on, Todd, step up. Let's put you out of your misery."

"I-I didn't do it. I didn't write a poem." Todd said. Neil and I shared a confused glance at this, both with full knowledge that Todd had been working on writing a poem for days now. So, what happened to it?

"Mr. Anderson thinks that everything inside of him is worthless and embarrassing. Isn't that right, Todd? Isn't that you're worst fear? Well, I think you're wrong. I think you have something inside you worth a great deal." I thought so too. I didn't seem as determined as Mr. Keating though, who moved over to the chalkboard and began to write as he spoke. "I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world. W.W Uncle Walt again. Now, for those of you who don't know, a yawp is a loud cry or yell. Now, Todd, I would like you to give us a demonstration of a barbaric yawp." Todd remained seated at his desk, and I just knew he was absolutely terrified. "Come on. You can't yawp sitting down. Let's go. Come on. Up." Mr. Keating encouraged Todd to get up out of his desk and stand at the front of the room. "You gotta get in yawping stance." 

"A yawp?" Todd questioned quietly. 

"No, not just a yawp. A barbaric yawp."

"Yawp." Todd said, his voice still barely louder than normal. 

"Come on, louder." Mr. Keating encouraged. 

"Yawp." Still quiet.

"No, that's a mouse. Come on. Louder."

"Yawp."

"Oh, good God, boy. Yell like a man!"

"Yawp!" Todd shouted, effectively surprising us all. Charlie and Knox looked over at me with raised eyebrows, and even though I couldn't seem him, I knew that Neil was smiling. Mr. Keating, on the other hand, looked completely satisfied and not at all surprised. 

"There it is. You see, you have a barbarian in you after all." Todd attempted to return to his seat but was stopped. "Now, you don't get away that easy." Mr. Keating turned Todd around so he was staring at a picture of Walt Whitman on the wall. "The picture of Uncle Walt up there. What does he remind you of? Don't think. Answer. Go on." He began to circle around Todd then, and the rest of us were silent as we watched in curiousity. 

"A m-m-madman." Todd stuttered, following Mr. Keating with his eyes as he spoke. 

"What kind of madman? Don't think about it. Just answer again." 

"A c-crazy madman." 

"No, you can do better than that. Free up your mind. Use your imagination. Say the first thing that pops into your head, even if its total gibberish. Go on, go on."

"Uh, uh, a sweaty-toothed madman." 

Mr. Keating jumped away in shock, much to my delight. "Good God, boy, there's a poet in you after all. There, close your eyes. Close your eyes. Close 'em. Now, describe what you see." Mr. Keating covered Todd's eyes with his hand and grabbed the back of his head with the other, forcing Todd to move in a circle with him. Charlie and I shared a glance of confusion, but ultimately remained silent to allow Mr. Keating to do whatever it was he was trying to do. 

"Uh, I-I close my eyes."

"Yes?" 

"Uh, and this image floats beside me."

"A sweaty-toothed madman?"

"A sweaty-toothed madman with a stare that pounds my brain."

"Oh, that's excellent. Now, give him action. Make him do something."

"H-his hands reach out and choke me." 

"That's it. Wonderful, wonderful." Mr. Keating removed his hand from Todd's eyes and stepped away, but Todd kept his eyes sealed shut. 

"And all the time he's mumbling." 

"What's he mumbling?"

"M-mumbling truth. Truth is like, like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold." Some of the students started to chuckle at that point despite my glares, causing Todd's eyes to shoot open in panic. C'mon, Todd, I was thinking, ignore them. You can do it. I know you can.

"Forget them, forget them." Mr. Keating encouraged, forcing Todd to shut his eyes again. "Stay with the blanket. Tell me about that blanket."

"Y-y-you push it, stretch it, it'll never be enough. You kick at it, beat it, it'll never cover any of us. From the moment we enter crying to the moment we leave dying, it will just cover your face as you wail and cry and scream." Todd finished, and the class was dead silent as they tried to absorb what Todd was saying. After a couple moments of the satisfying silence, the class broke out in roaring applause. The smile on Todd's face was heartwarming, and Mr. Keating jumped up from where he was squatting to whisper something to him that I couldn't make out, but knew was significant because of the smile on the boys face. I remembered adult Todd had told me he created a poem on the spot because of Mr. Keating, but never thought it would be something as incredible as what I just witnessed. 

Todd moved back to his desk to the applause and back-slaps of everyone around him, the smile never once leaving his face. The bell rang shortly after that, and our small friend group jumped over to the poet to congratulate him on his incredible display of talent, hugging him and clapping him on the back in joy. When it was finally my turn, I enveloped Todd in an embrace, whispering in his ear, "I knew that you could do it."

He pulled away from me with a smile. "Thank you."

I nodded and looked over to Neil, who looked more in love than he did last night if that was even possible, and I'm pretty sure if we all left him and Todd alone, they would kiss in the heat of the moment. Neil placed a hand on his shoulder as his own way of saying good job, exchanging a brief glance of passion with the formerly-shy boy. The rest of us moved to leave and go to the cafeteria, but I noticed that Neil wasn't following.

"Are you coming, Neil?" I asked, turning back to look at the boy, who was standing awkardly in the middle of the room as he waited for us to leave. 

"Uh, I'll catch up with you guys." He said. "I just have to talk to Mr. Keating about something."

We all nodded in acceptance as we moved to leave the room and give Neil his privacy to talk to Mr. Keating about whatever it was that he wanted to talk about. I managed to sneak away from the group though after a couple of minutes, and despite my conscience telling me not to, stood outside of Mr. Keating's door to listen to what Neil needed to say. 

"How did you know he could do that?" Neil asked, his voice sounding shocked and almost distraught. "I live with him and I'm around him 24/7 and I didn't know he could do that."

"I didn't know he could do anything, Mr. Perry." Mr. Keating replied. "I just knew he had something he needed to get off his chest, and wanted to encourage him to do that in the only way that I knew how: encourage him to write a poem. And it worked."

"He's amazing. He's so amazing." Neil said, and I almsot started crying at his shock and the declaration of how amazing he believed Todd was. 

"You all are, Mr. Perry."

"Yeah, but Todd is..." Neil trailed off and paused for a few seconds before asking, "Have you ever loved someone, Captain?"

"Yes." I could hear Mr. Keating ruffling around. "This is my love right here."

"She's pretty."

"She also lives in London." I could hear a slight gasp coming from Neil before the room went silent again. "What's bothering you, Neil?"

"I, uh, think I might be in love with somebody, Captain. Whenever I'm around them I feel like I'm gonna throw up I get so nervous, but then I also feel more connected to that person than I have with anyone, ever, and all I want to do is love them and protect them. It's like nothing I've ever felt before in my entire life."

"Well, she sounds like a very lucky girl." 

"That's the problem, Captain. It isn't a girl. I, uh, think I might be in love with Todd."

"Well, I don't see why that's a problem, Neil. Love is love, after all."

"Yeah, but love between two guys is wrong! If everyone found out that I was... gay, they'd isolate me."

"Not necessarily. Your closest friends are going to accept you no matter who you are or who you love." Neil didn't say anything in return, so Mr. Keating pushed forwards. "Did you know that a lot of people suspect that Walt Whitman himself may have been gay? Well, they did. But he is still considered to be one of the best poets ever. Now, I'm not denying that there are a lot of people who look down on and discriminate against homosexuals, but there is also a large community who supports them and who will support yours and Todd's potential relationship." Neil was still not talking, but I could hear him sniffling a little bit, effectively breaking my heart in half. "Look, Neil, I know that it might be scary, but you can't keep your feelings inside. You have to tell Todd how you feel about him."

Neil sniffled a little bit more before replying. "You're right, Captain. I'll tell him. I will." There was some shuffling around, and I realized that I was going to have to move out of my spot soon unless I wanted Neil to realize that I had been eavesdropping on his private conversation. "Thank you, Mr. Keating."

"Your welcome, Mr. Perry." He replied, and I promptly ran out of my spot before Neil could spot me as he left the room, running towards the cafeteria to create an allibi for where I had been, feeling delighted by the days events so far and the fact that Neil and Todd might finally be ready to admit their feelings for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise Neil and Todd are going to admit their feelings within the next two or so chapters after what feels like forever of saying that they will! Either way, hope you liked this chapter, please leave a kudos or comment if you did, and chapter 17 will be up soon!


	17. Journey to the Centre of the Earth (or the Vermont Mall)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally and the boys all decide to take an adventure to the mall for a couple of hours, where Charlie demonstrates just how great he really can be and Ally notices Neil and Todd getting significantly closer than they were before.

The rest of the week continued pretty uneventfully, which is why the next bit of the story takes place a couple of days later than you may have expected. And no, Todd and Neil have not yet admitted how they feel despite both of their insistence that they were going to. The next eventful thing that happened is that I discovered, through a very unfortunate situation that involved me having to toss own of my school skirts in the laundry Friday night, that being the only female student at an all-boys school gave me a good excuse to leave campus once a month when in need of feminine hygiene products. So, the Saturday after the poems, when I thought for sure that the boys had soccer practice and I could sneak out without being caught by them, I attempted to walk out the front doors only to hear behind me, "Hey, Ally!" I looked to see that it was Todd that had called out my name. Todd had gone through one of the most dramatic changes I've ever witnessed since his poem in front of the class, now being able to speak not just to Neil and I, but to everyone else without even the hint of a stutter. He was now more confident and happier, and it really warmed my heart to see how much he had changed. 

That didn't necessarily mean I wanted to see him right at this very moment, though.

"Where are you going?" he asked, approaching me with a smile. 

"Oh, um, I have to head to the mall for a couple things." I replied. "Don't you and the rest of the boys have soccer practice right now?" 

"Rescheduled for a couple hours later." He replied. "Mr. Keating had a meeting or something. We were going to head to the cave after practice for a couple hours, but since it's been rescheduled we're going to have the meeting tomorrow instead after lunch. You're coming right?"

"Yeah, of course." I nodded, wanting to end this conversation as soon as possible and be on my way. "Um, well I really should get going, Todd. I'll see you later. Have fun at soccer!"

"Well, how about we come with you?" He called out, just as I was starting to walk away. "We could give you some company, you shouldn't be going shopping all by yourself. Plus, I'm sure we could all use a break from the school for a bit."

"No, really Todd I'll be fine..." I started, but wasn't able to finish before Todd ran out of the main foyer and up to the rooms, presumably to get the rest of the boys and tell them about our spontaneous adventure. I knew it would look bad if I just started walking without them, so I waited until the entire crowd (except for Cameron who claimed he had homework to do) had made their way downstairs with joy spreading across their faces at the prospect of finally being able to get a break from the academy. 

"Is it alright if we come with you, Ally?" Knox asked, probably picking up on the fact that it was my idea we go in the first place.

Despite the uncomfortable-ness that this could cause, I smiled and nodded. After that, we began walking the short trip to get to mall from here, the boys chatting each others ears off as they walked and me just barely listening. Eventually, though, Todd's voice interrupted the silence that I was enjoying. 

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why do you ask?"

"You're really quiet today. I know I kind of jumped you in the foyer, I just wanted to make sure that you weren't looking for some private time that I interrupted or anything like that."

"No, you're right, I could use the company." I replied, and he nodded in return. I let us walk in comfortable silence for a few more minutes before asking, "Have you gotten the chance to talk to Neil yet?"

Todd glanced nervously back at Neil to make sure he wasn't listening before replying, "No. Not yet."

"Oh c'mon Todd! It's so obvious to everyone else but you two that you guys like each other, so why not just admit it?"

"I don't know how!" He exclaimed. "You make it sound like it's the easiest thing in the world to tell the guy you like that you like him, but when your the one who actually has to say it it's the hardest thing in the entire world!"

"Just relax, Todd. Look, all you have to do is find a moment when the two of you are alone together and are happy before telling him that you think you might have some feelings for him that you needed to tell him about. And then, there's nothing else you can do except wait for Neil to react."

"And if he reacts badly?" 

I shrugged. "Then you handle it however you believe you should in that moment. But, he won't react badly."

"Hey guys," Charlie called, interrupting our conversation, "we're here!"

I looked in front of me to see the mall in all it's glory, except looking significantly smaller than what I was used to seeing in 2018. The boys practically ran inside, leaving me standing alone in the parking lot. I reluctantly followed them inside to see that they had all split up into different boys clothing stores or various game stores, giving me the chance to find the nearest convenience store, so I quickly ran away, making sure that none of them were following, to find what I was looking for. After what felt like hours of searching, I was finally able to find what I needed in the back corner of a tiny and empty little convenience store, only to be faced with the fact that I had no idea what period products were like in the 50s and had no idea what product to pick. 

"There you are." I heard as I was considering my options, and whipped around to see Charlie standing behind me. "You ran off pretty quickly, we all thought we lost you somehow."

"I had to get something." I said, quickly turning back around so I wasn't facing him. There was no point though because he moved forward so he was standing next to me, and I knew that my face was probably redder than a tomato. I have to say though, the look on his face when he noticed what I was looking at was pretty hilarious.

"You could've just told us that you're... you know and that you need... you know." He said, stuttering over his words.

"You guys don't need to know that sort of stuff." I answered, finally making a decision on which product to use and grabbing it off the shelf. 

"No, we really don't. But, that doesn't necessarily mean you have to hide it from us, and it especially doesn't mean that you have to hide from us and sneak off to buy this shit."

"Seriously, Charlie? It doesn't gross you out at all?" 

"Well, I wouldn't go that far." He joked, and I elbowed him in response, but with a smile. "No, seriously. Even though you're a girl, you're a part of our group now. And we tell each other everything, no matter how gross it may be. Before you came along we talked about masturbating while eating dinner."

I laughed despite myself. "Thank you, Charlie." We reached the counter, where there was a kind-looking elderly lady watching us with a smile.

"Oh, I love young romance." She said. "You better hold onto him, honey. He's a good one by the sounds of it."

"Oh, no, we're not-" I started, but was, to my surprise, very quickly interrupted.

"Oh, I'm the one who got lucky with her!" Charlie exclaimed, and I raised my eyebrows as if to say 'What the fuck are you doing?'. "She's the smartest, kindest, and most beautiful girl I've ever met in my entire life!" Just as I was about to ask him what the hell he was doing, he continued, "You don't happen to have any cigarettes here for purchase do you?"

She smiled kindly, but shook her head. "Well I am happy for you and your relationship, I don't think you're quite old enough for that yet sweetheart."

Charlie scowled as I paid but was quiet nonetheless. I believed he was done, but trust me he was nowhere near done yet. As we were walking out the door, Charlie called out loud enough for everyone in the mall, but most especially the old lady working the counter, to hear, "She's FANTASTIC in bed too! A great lay!"

I knew I should have punched and scowled at him for humiliating me like that, but the scandalized look on the old lady's face was enough for me to forget about that and burst into laughter, and even though he tried so hard to remain serious, Charlie burst into laughter too. And that's how the rest of the boys eventually found us, bent over and in tears from laughing so hard in the middle of the mall. 

"What's so funny?" Knox asked.

"No-nothing." I responded, wiping the tears from my eyes. 

The boys looked unconvinced, but smiled, shrugged and ignored it nonetheless. 

"We were thinking of going to watch a movie." Neil said. "We have a couple hours still until we have to be at the school for soccer practice."

"Sure." I shrugged. "What movie do you guys want to go see?"

"No idea." Meeks said. "We don't even know what's out."

"Well, let's go check!" Charlie exclaimed, and we began a trek to the other end of the mall where the movie theater was located. It almost blew my mind how old everything was, movies that I watched with my grandparents now or when I was a young kid with my cousins or that my mom and dad said was the best movie of their childhood.

"How about Sleeping Beauty?" I asked, but they didn't even have to answer, the looks they gave me were answer enough. "Or not."

"Ben Hur?" Pitts suggested. 

"It's four hours long." Neil argued. "We have time, but not that much time."

"Some Like it Hot?" Charlie interjected. 

"You're only suggesting that because you think Marilyn Monroe is hot." 

"I think that's a fair argument!"

"How about Journey to the Centre of the Earth?" Todd suggested. "It's got adventure, science, cool animals and no overly sexualized girls for Charlie to ogle over the entire time."

After a couple seconds of thinking, we all nodded and shrugged in agreement. 

"Good choice, Todd." I said, patting him on the back as I entered the theater. After I was done walking by him though, I noticed Neil move close to Todd and whisper something in his ear as he gently placed a hand on Todd's back, to which I raised my eyebrows in shock. The moment couldn't last forever though, because eventually they seemed to notice the people walking past them and giving them curious or disgusted looks. They followed us into the theater after this, where we all bought our tickets and then the typical pairing of buttered popcorn and a drink, however Charlie, being Charlie, also bought an extra large chocolate bar too. We entered the movie theater in silence, but after a couple of minutes Charlie nudged me. 

"Wanna split this?" he asked, holding out half of the large chocolate bar he had bought.

"Do you know how much sugar is probably in that, Charlie?" 

"Why do you think I want to split it?" He hesitated before continuing. "Plus, I heard in health class a couple of years ago that there's something in chocolate that helps with... pain that you might be currently having."

I smirked at him. "Then sure. You know the pain really is terrible? My back is killing me, I'm nauseous, my hormones are all over the place. God, and my boobs-"

"Okay, normally I'd love to hear about your boobs, but this is a little too TMI." He smirked, giving me half of the chocolate bar anyways. I glanced beside us to where Neil and Todd were sittng pressed up against each other, occassionally leaning over so they could whisper into each others ears. 

"There's something going on between them." I said, elbowing Charlie. "They've been extra touchy-feely today."

"You think that they're fucking and just not telling anyone about it?"

"Charlie!" I exclaimed, but continued anyways. "Todd would tell me if there was something going on. They haven't even admitted their feelings for each other yet according to him."

Charlie shrugged. "Whatever. Even if they haven't done anything yet, they're going to soon. It's bullshit that everyone else knows they're in love with each other before they do."

"Hey, be quiet!" the guy behind us said, poking his face in between ours. Now, this should have silenced us effectively, but instead it sent us into another giggle fit, our second one of the day before we were finally able to sit and watch the movie in silence, all while watching Todd and Neil out of the corners of our eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, Charlie really is a great guy! (even if he is a little ooc). This was such a difficult chapter to write because I was trying to stay specific to the way that things were in 1959, so sorry if it wasn't entirely accurate. But I hoped you guys liked it anyways, and hopefully chapter 18 will be up within a couple of days because some exciting stuff happens in that one! Please keep leaving comment and kudos because it's been a while since I've gotten one of those and not to sound spoiled or anything, but I kind of miss it lol!


	18. I Could Really Use Some Help...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys have an amazing soccer practice that almost makes Ally's heart explode in joy, and then if she wasn't already filled with enough emotion, she finally witnesses Neil and Todd taking the next step in their relationship (AHHHHHH!).

We basically had to sprint back to the school after the movie ended out of fear that the boys were going to be late for their next soccer practice, even though we all knew that Mr. Keating probably wasn't going to care or punish them if they were late, having grown close to our little group at this point. They ran upstairs and changed without so much as a word to me, before continuing to run down the stairs and out to the field once they were done. I knew I was going to watch after the amount of fun I had with them throughout the rest of the day and at the first soccer practice, but I was significantly slower than they were, taking some time to get a little bit of chemistry homework done before walking out to the field to see that they were already playing a full fledged game, some in yellow jerseys and some in just their red and black soccer uniforms. They were running and screaming as they played, so, not wanting to interrupt them, I went to stand next to Mr. Keating who was jumping around and cheering on the side whenever something exciting happened. 

"Come to watch again, Ms. Wharton?" he yelled to battle the noise that the boys were making. 

"Yeah, Captain. I really had nothing better to do." I shrugged. Now, don't get me wrong, I totally did have other, more productive, things I could be doing right now. I just enjoyed watching them play.

"You know you could join in and play if you wanted?"

"I'm not a big soccer player. Plus, they're having fun, I wouldn't want to intrude on that." 

Mr. Keating was silent for a few minutes before replying. "I don't necessarily think you would be intruding on their fun, in fact, I think some of them have taken quite the liking to you and would enjoy your participation."

I shook my head with a smile. "They're teenage boys filled to the brim with hormones, it's not surprising I would attract some of them in some way."

He laughed. "Yes, that is very true, but that wasn't necessarily what I was talking about." I looked at him in confusion. "The majority of them see you as their friend, as their equal, and, if you ask me, that's much better than them seeing you as a potential love interest."

I thought for a moment. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess you're right."

He smiled in return, and we continued to watch the boys play in silence except for the occasional cheering when one of them would score a goal or their goal would get blocked. It warmed my heart how much fun they all seemed to be having, smiles spread across all of their faces, which were red with the heat and the exercise of running, and their hair blowing around them as they ran. It was especially nice seeing the smirk on Charlie's face every time he would block somebody's goal, or the way Neil ruffled his hair whenever he did a good job as his own way of saying congratulations. And then, when Neil scored a goal, the way Todd jumped into his arms and wrapped his legs around him, causing Neil to tumble to the ground, and the way the rest of the boys ran over and joined the pile. Then they all stood up and ran toward us, and I almost ran away at the thought that they were going to tackle me, but instead picked Mr. Keating up and lifted him over their heads in joy and carried him across the field, jumping and cheering as they did so. I followed along and ran behind them in laughter, spinning and twirling as we celebrated the best teacher any of us had ever had. I never wanted the moment of joy and happiness to end, wanting to carry Mr. Keating to the ends of the world and wanting to rip the boys away from this hell and go somewhere and do something where we could all be happy for the rest of our   
lives.

But all good things must come to an end at some point, and we were eventually forced to put Mr. Keating down when the sun started to set, and we all had to run back so the boys could shower and change and get some homework done before dinner. It shocked me how much it hurt to be walking up to my room on my own after they all ran off in the direction of the public showers, leaving me virtually alone against the world here. 

God, how was I ever supposed to say goodbye to all this?

…

I really hated trigonometry. After soccer practice had ended, I had run up to my room to get done at least a little bit of my homework while all the boys showered so I would have time to travel to the cave with them all the next day, but I've been totally stuck on question 3 for the past half hour now. Finally giving up, I exited my room with a door slam and walked down the hall just a little bit to where Meeks and Pitts' room was. Once there, I knocked loudly on their door.

"Meeks! Pitts! You guys in there?" No answer. "Hello? I'm in desperate need of some homework help right about now!"

"Could you be any louder?" I heard, and whipped around to see the ginger dick known as Cameron standing there and glaring at me (in case it wasn't obvious, we haven't exactly warmed up to each other yet).

"Have you seen Meeks or Pitts anywhere?" I replied, ignoring his attitude.

"They're still in the shower." Charlie answered instead, exiting his room to stand beside Cameron, who rolled his eyes and went back into his room. "What do you need?"

"I've been stuck on question 3 from the trig homework for half an hour now!" I exclaimed. 

"I think Neil's in his room, and he's just as good at trig as Meeks is, maybe even better." Charlie shrugged. "I'd offer to help but I'm no better at trig than you anyways, and Cameron I'm sure has no desire to help you." And with that, he left the hallway and closed his door with a slam.

I won't deny that I stared at his door for a couple minutes after it closed, but eventually went to Neil and Todd's room and quietly knocked. "Neil? Todd? Are either of you in there I could really use some trig help right now and Meeks is still in the shower." No answer. "Hello? Guys?" Giving up, I slowly turned the doorknob and entered the room, and nearly jumped back out in shock at what I was seeing. 

Neil and Todd were standing in the centre of the room, which wasn't unusual, but the position they were in was. Neil was cupping Todd's face in his hands gently, and Todd's arms were wrapped around Neil's waist, hands clutching desperately at his sweater. Their bodies were pressed flush together, which must have been doing wonders for their teenage hormones. But what was really shocking, was the fact that their lips, yes, their lips, were pressed firmly against each others, their noses bumping and eyes closed as they continuously adjusted themselves. I stood there watching in shock for at least a couple of minutes before either of them noticed what was going on. Eventually, it was Todd who felt the presence of another body in the room and quickly jumped away from Neil, his eyes wide, cheeks flushed and lips slightly swollen (yes, his expression was absolutely hilarious). Neil stayed where he was, confused and not yet realizing I was there too. 

"Todd, what the-" Then he noticed me too, but instead of jumping away in shock and fear like Todd did, he shyly smiled and shrugged, saying, "Can you at least close the door so no one else has to find out about this?"

I silently closed the door but continued to stand there in shock. When did this happen? Why didn't they tell me? Eventually though, the shock and anger morphed into happiness. After weeks of anticipation and knowing how they felt about each other, it was finally happening! Somebody said something and then they kissed and oh, God, why did I have to barge in here and ruin it! I felt my shocked face quickly morph into a large smile, urging me to jump forward and wrap the two boys together in a three-person group hug. 

"Oh my God, finally!" I exclaimed. "Oh, I'm so happy for you guys!"

I pulled away from them so I could look at their happy faces again, and both looked like they were just about glowing, giving each other small smiles in response to my happiness, their faces alight with a light pink blush. I knew that I should probably leave them alone, but of course, my conscience wouldn't allow that, so I instead took a seat on Neil's desk. "So what happened?"

"What do you mean?" Neil asked, understanding that I probably wasn't going to leave so he took a seat on his bed, and Todd quickly followed.

"A couple of hours ago Todd told me that you guys hadn't even admitted how you feel about each other yet and then I walk in now and you're in the middle of a make out session. So, what happened?"

The two glanced at each other quickly before Neil hesitantly answered. "Uh, I don't know I guess we were just hanging out, and then the conversation turned away from the play and school and turned to a more... serious topic and after talking for a little bit longer we, uh, realized something and then you walked in." Neil shrugged with a shy smile, and glanced at Todd for confirmation.

Todd smiled at Neil in return, and then shrugged, signaling that he really had nothing else to add. Look, I knew that they were keeping a lot of specifics from me in that story, but I didn't want to press. If they wanted to keep what happened between them a secret, then that was completely their right and no one else was allowed to take that away from them (even if I desperately wanted to). 

"Well, I'm so so happy for you guys," I said, standing up. "And I'm assuming you would like to keep this a secret?"

"Yes please." Todd answered. 

"Okay. You should at least let the rest of the society know, though. They deserve to know the truth, they're your closest friends." I answered, wanting to leave as quickly as possible and give them some more time alone to figure things out and have a little bit more private time to celebrate their relationship in their own way. I quickly joined the two of them in another quick hug, before moving to leave the room.

"Didn't you want some help with trig homework?" Neil called, much to what looked like Todd's dismay.

I smiled at them. "No, it's alright. I'll just ask Cameron, or Meeks if he's back from his shower by now."

"Okay." Neil answered. "And Ally?"

"Yeah."

"Thank you. So much."

I nodded in return and left the room, fighting off the tears of happiness and joy that were trying to escape. I couldn't believe at the time the journey I had taken throughout the day with this group, going to the mall and then coming home and watching them have the time of their lives just playing soccer and then finally, FINALLY, witnessing the two boys that I know loved and cared for each other so damn much finally admit it and have their first of hopefully many kisses. I felt like I was part of a big family, and I didn't know how the hell I was ever supposed to leave it. 

But, I took a deep breath, wiped what little tears I had, and knocked on Meeks' door for the second time that night. And when the curly-haired boy opened his door, I couldn't help but smile. "Hey. I could really use some help with the trig homework."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg finally! After what felt like forever of saying that they're going to get together soon, it finally freaking happened! I hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter, PLEASE keep leaving comments and kudos if you do, and I will have chapter 19 up as soon as possible!


	19. The God of the Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally finally discovers who was behind the God of the Cave that sent her to 1959 in the first place, as well as discovering more about how Charlie feels towards her and how she could potentially feel towards him. Also, Knox gets an exciting invitation from the love of his life, Chris.

I left a lot later for the cave than the other boys did the next day, wanting to take my time getting a shower and drying my hair beforehand. The rest of the boys started their journey through the woods sometime after lunch, and I was now taking my own journey through the brightly lit woods to get to the cave, taking my time to appreciate the beauty of fall starting to set into the trees and the animals leaping around as the birds chirped and the sun shone above us. The peace and beauty that I was greatly enjoying clearly couldn't last forever though, because eventually the smell of nature was replaced by the smell of tobacco. Lo and behold, the cave was in view and there was billows of smoke coming out of it. I rolled my eyes and considered leaving the boys alone to smoke without my nagging, but instead pursued forward, pulling my sweater over my nose to protect my lungs and nostrils from the scent.

When I climbed through the entrance, every single one of the boys (except for Neil) were sitting in various places of the cave, a pipe dangling out of their mouths. They were all laughing and joking around, and I quickly snuck my way in and took a seat on a ledge next to Todd. 

"What are you guys doing?" I exclaimed once settled, the smell quickly becoming too much for me to bear.

"What does it look like we're doing?" Charlie smirked, lifting a box he had that was filled with pipes and lighters.

I ignored Charlie with an eye roll, before turning to Todd. "Where's Neil?"

"Rehearsal." He answered, taking one of the lighters for his own pipe. 

"Ally, you should try one." Cameron suggested. "You're already inhaling the smoke anyways."

"Um, no. You guys know that I don't smoke."

"Oh, c'mon!" Charlie exclaimed. "Just one drag won't kill you. I'll even show you how to use it."

The rest of the boys continued to pester me for a couple minutes before I finally gave in, to which they cheered and applauded. I reluctantly took a pipe from Charlie, and after a quick instruction on how to smoke it, he was holding a lighter up to the bowl. I inhaled, hoping it wouldn't be too unpleasant, but the tobacco was so damn strong and the smoke filled my mouth so quickly that I immediately erupted into coughs. The boys, who were total assholes by the way, all found this absolutely hilarious.

"Glad to know you're all going to be there for me when I'm dying someday." I managed to say in between coughs and gasps.

"Don't worry," Charlie said, "you're first attempt was no better than Pittsie's."

I looked at Pitts, who only shrugged in return and continued to smoke his pipe. 

"You know, my dad collects a lot of pipes." Meeks said, inspecting the one in his hand.

"Really? Mine's got thirty." Charlie said. I guess that's where he got them from, then.

"Your parents collect pipes?" Pitts exclaimed in a joking manner. "Wow, that's really interesting!"

"Come on, Knox. Join in." Charlie interjected after a couple seconds of laughter. I had barely even noticed that Knox was there, he had been so quiet. Looking at him now, it was obvious that something was bothering the boy, who only stared sadly at his pipe. 

"Yeah, Knox, we're from the government. We're here to help, man." Cameron half-joked.

"What's wrong?" I asked, trying to be the only sincere person in the cave. 

"It's Chris!" Pitts accused, reaching behind him and pulling up the centrefold that Charlie had at the first meeting. Why was that thing even still here? "Here's a picture of Chris for you right here!"

"Smoke that. Put that in your pipe and smoke it." Meeks joked. 

"That's not funny!" Knox accused, pointing his pipe angrily at Pitts. 

"Knock it off!" Charlie exclaimed, effectively ending the chaos. "Smoke your pipes."

The silence managed to last a couple of seconds before something else happened. I could see from where I was sitting Neil's tall frame appraoching the cave, and gave Todd a light nudge with my elbow to get his attention. 

"Neil!" Todd exclaimed, and I couldn't help but smile at his excitement. 

"Friends, scholars, Welton men." Neil said, entering the cave and taking a seat on the ground on Todd's other side. As he passed Todd, he quickly gave the boy an affectionate hair ruffle that only I saw, and the two shared an impassioned smile before Neil sat down. I couldn't help but notice the dusty old lamp that Neil was holding in his hand, however it did look slightly familiar. 

"What is that, Neil?" Meeks asked, voicing my thoughts.

"Duh, it's a lamp, Meeks!" Pitts exclaimed. 

"No." Neil interjected, removing the shade from the lamp to reveal the shape of a blue and white dressed man as the base. Oh, God. That was the lamp that had sent me here. So, what the hell was it doing here and why did Neil have it? "This is the god of the cave." Okay, then. 

"The god of the cave." Meeks echoed in a teasing voice.

Before anyone could question this though, Charlie made some obnoxiously loud noises on a gold saxophone that he, for some reason that I don't even want to begin to wonder about, had with him. "What do you say we start this meeting?"

"Charlie, what are you doing?" I asked. 

"Y-yeah just... I need a light, I just gotta - where did you guys get the pipes?" Neil stuttered, starting to fidget with the lamp and managing to find a pipe to pop into his mouth.

"Got any earplugs?" Pitts joked as Charlie stood up with his saxophone, clearing his throat. 

"Gentlemen, and lady, 'Poetrusic' by Charles Dalton." He started, before playing some obnoxiously loud notes, to which I plugged my ears in return. "Laughing, crying, tumbling, mumbling. Gotta do more, gotta be more!" He exclaimed, and more erratic sounds followed. "Chaos screaming, chaos dreaming. Gotta do more, gotta be more!" What followed after that wasn't the erratic and obnoxious sounds from before, but instead a beautiful, melodic tune that brought us all to silence. It was absolutely beautiful, not only the music but the passion that Charlie played it with, eyes closed, slowly spinning in a circle, eventually finishing it off bent in front of a still-distraught Knox, ruffling the boys hair as he stood up to our erupting applause. 

"Wow!" Meeks exclaimed.

"That was nice. That was great. Where did you learn to play like that?" Neil asked.

"My parents made me take the clarinet for years." He responded, sitting back down. 

"I love the clarinet!" Cameron exclaimed. 

"I hated it." Charlie interjected, much to all of our enjoyment. "The saxophone. The saxophone is more... sonorous."

"Ooh, vocabulary!" Meeks exclaimed, giving Charlie a light shove. I had been completely silent throughout this entire exchange, still in awe of Charlie's talent and the beautiful music he was able to produce. He managed to catch my eye, and noticing my shocked face, he gave me a small smile and wink. 

The happy moment was interrupted though by Knox quickly jumping up and throwing his pipe on the ground. "I can't take it anymore. If I don't have Chris, I'm gonna kill myself."

"Knoxious, you gotta calm down!" Charlie exclaimed, and I stood up and moved so I could place a concerned hand on Knox's shoulder.

"No, Charlie." He replied. "That's just my problem. I've been calm all my life. I'll do something about that." Knox moved to leave the cave, but I tightened my grip so he couldn't move.

"Where are you going?" Neil asked, still tinkering with the lamp.

"What are you gonna do, Knox?" I voiced, hoping it wouldn't be something irrational. 

"I'm gonna call her." He answered, pushing my hand away with a laugh so he could run out of the cave. Well, so much for something not irrational. We all quickly scrambled to move and follow him, putting pipes out and grabbing coats to catch up, all to the tune of Charlie's saxophone playing. 

"Charlie, come on!" I exclaimed, pulling the boy up. "I want to make sure he doesn't say anything stupid!"

"It's Knox." Charlie said, reluctantly standing up. "Of course he's going to say something stupid."

"Well then, I'm sure you're going to want to witness it." I said, pulling Charlie behind me as we ran to catch up to the rest of the boys. We stopped running when we were a couple feet behind them though, slowing our pace so we could catch our breath. 

"That was really beautiful." I started, and he raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Your song, I mean."

"Oh, that was nothing." He shrugged. 

"Charlie," I stopped, placing a hand on his shoulder, "you're really talented. Seriously! Good enough to make it into Julliard or something."

We started walking again in silence, before Charlie said, "You know, that's not a half-bad idea."

"What?" 

"Me going to Julliard."

"What about your parents, don't they want you to be a banker like your dad?"

He shrugged. "Who really cares what they think? Everyone else is figuring out what makes them happy, I don't want to be the only one in the group who's miserable. Neil with his acting, Todd's clearly gonna be the next Shakespeare or something, Knox is pursuing the girl of his dreams, and I still have nothing. Maybe the saxophone is my calling."

I smiled, thinking about it for a minute. "You know, you could all live together someday in New York. You and Neil could go to Julliard, Todd could go to Columbia, Pitts and Meeks could probably do engineering at NYU, and Knox I'm sure could find a law program and if she really loves him, could convince Chris to come along."

Charlie smiled. "Sounds fucking amazing." He then paused and looked to me in confusion. "What about you?"

"Oh, I don't know. I doubt you guys would want a girl living in your bachelor pad with you."

"I mean, you live with us already anyways." He said. "Plus, you're there when we need girl advice. Not that I ever would, obviously."

I laughed. "You've got to be the cockiest person I've ever met, Dalton!"

He laughed with me for a couple brief seconds. "This is crazy. A future where we're actually all happy and together. I would've never, not even in my dreams, imagined that."

"Yeah, but then you're all going to go off and get wives and have kids..."

"That doesn't mean we have to split up. I mean, Neil and Todd are eventually going to admit..."

"Speaking of that," I interrupted, "don't tell anyone, but I caught them making out last night. So, they're officially together now."

Charlie let out a low whistle. "Geez. Took them long enough." He shrugged. "I'm happy for them, anyways."

"Me too." I replied. "What were you saying, you know, before I interrupted you?"

"Oh, right. Well, if they're together now then they won't be breaking up the group anytime soon. And I'm sure Chris will weasle her way in like you managed to. And, you never know, one of us might manage to hook up with you at some point."

I let out a bark of laughter. "Yeah, right Charlie!" But he wasn't laughing. To my surprise, a flash of hurt and what looked like sadness flashed quickly over Charlie's face before he recovered and let out his own short chuckle. Before I could ask him about it though, he moved a little bit faster so he could walk with the rest of the boys instead. 

Look, I knew that some part of me was attracted to Charlie, and based off of his reaction just then, some part of him was attracted to me, too. But there was no way we could ever be together, not when I had to eventually travel forward in time to where I was supposed to live. If we got together, it would complicate things a lot more than they already were. So, I had to push my attraction away. 

I walked a couple feet behind everyone else for the rest of the walk until we eventually reached the school. Knox had no patience in running to the phone, quickly shoving a coin in and dialing a phone number. We all gathered around in an anxious circle, Neil leaning on Todd's shoulder and Charlie going out of his way to not look at me. I could hear the phone ringing before a couple of seconds before a feminine voice sounded, "Hello?" Instead of answering though, Knox immediatly hung up.

"She's gonna hate me. The Danburrys will hate me. My parents will kill me." We all just stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to make his own decision on what to do next. "Alright, goddamn it. You're right. Carpe diem. Even if it kills me." We all chuckled as Knox shoved in another coin and dialed the number again. It only rang once this time before the feminine voice answered again. 

"Hello?"

"Hello, Chris?"

"Yes."

"Hi. This is Knox Overstreet."

"Oh, yes. Knox. Glad you called."

Knox covered the receiver and turned to whisper to us. "She's glad I called!"

"Listen, Chet's parents are going out of town this weekend, so he's having a party." Chris continued. "Would you like to come?"

"Would I like to come to a party?" Knox asked, mostly directed towards us. 

"Yes. Say yes." Charlie encouraged, moving to stand next to Knox. 

"Well, sure." Knox answered. 

"Friday, um, around seven!" 

"Okay, great. I-I'll be there, Chris."

"Okay."

"Friday night at the Danburry's. O-okay. Thank you."

"Okay. Bye." Chris laughed. 

"Thank you. I'll see you. Bye." Knox finished, hanging up the phone in silence. He was silent for a couple seconds before yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Yawp! Can you believe it? She was gonna call me. She invited me to a party with her."

"At Chet Danburry's house." Charlie countered. 

"Yeah."

"Well?"

"So?"

"So, you don't really think she means you're going with her?"

Knox paused. "Well, of course not, Charlie. But that's not the point. That's not the point at all."

"What is the point?"

"The point Charlie, is, uh-"

"Yeah?"

"That she was thinking of me." Knox finished with a triumphant smile. "I've only met her once, and already she's thinking about me. Damn it. It's gonna happen, guys. I feel it. She is going to be mine." Knox walked away from then with a dramatic flick of his scarf, to the calls of "Carpe!" coming from Neil. We all laughed and smirked at the boys ridiculousness as he walked up the stairs. 

"He's out of control." I laughed. "If he goes to that party and tries to get with Chris while Chet is there..."

"Oh, just leave him be!" Charlie exclaimed. "Let him have his fun, at least."

I curiously glanced at Charlie for a couple of seconds before Neil's voice interrupted my thoughts. 

"Alright, that's enough excitement for one day. See you guys bright and early tomorrow morning!" He then grabbed Todd's hand and practically dragged him upstairs, and it was no secret to the rest of us what was going on. 

Meeks and Pitts eventually migrated upstairs too, with the excuse of wanting to work on one of their many projects, and Cameron after them with the excuse of wanting to finsih his homework. That left Charlie and I in the main foyer on our own. 

"Look, Charlie-" I started, but he cut me off. 

"Don't worry about it." He said, starting to walk away from me and up the stairs to his room. 

"Charlie, wait!"

"You overthink things too much, you know that? The only reason I didn't walk with you the rest of the way was because I wanted to figure out what Knox was going to say and make sure he didn't make a fool out of himself."

"Who said I was going to ask why you didn't walk with me?"

We had reached the hallway at this point, and Charlie and I stood facing each other, dead silent. He was about to respond when we heard a breathy gasp coming from Neil and Todd's room, effectively ending the conversation so we could both retreat back into the safety of our rooms in silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this chapter ended up being really long! I hope you guys liked it though, as always, I hope you leave a comment or kudos if you did, and the next chapter will be up as soon as possible!  
> PS. Sorry if the timeline seems kind of weird, but this was the point in the movie where I myself started to get confused about how closely the events were to each other, so just bear with me as I try to figure it out!


	20. Breakfast Is the Most Important Meal of the Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Figured I'd give you all a light hearted and funny chapter after the super-long last chapter and since the rest of the ones after this one are going to be a little bit more emotional than what the story has been so far. So, in this chapter the gang eats breakfast together, giving Ally the chance to question Todd about the noises she heard coming from his room the night before and for Knox to get the gang's opinion on what to wear to the party Friday night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains light discussions about sex and drinking, but nothing extremely severe!

For some reason, Todd and I were both up extremely early the next day and made it to breakfast before everyone else did. We now sat in comfortable silence as we spread a healthy topping of cream cheese over our burnt bagels, pouring orange juice into our glasses and scooping some scrambled eggs onto our plate. This was the only good thing about waking up early, that you got first dibs of the food. I knew I probably looked more than zombie-like, however Todd seemed to be absolutely glowing with happiness and peace. Todd and I ate in silence for a couple of seconds before I spoke up about it.

"You look happy this morning." I said, taking a sip of my juice.

 

"I'm in a good mood." He shrugged.

"Right." I replied. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the... interesting noises coming from yours and Neil's room last night, would it?"

Todd blushed furiously, almost choking on his orange juice. "Oh, um, we-we weren't, uh... shit... uh"

"Todd," I interrupted, struggling to hold back my laughter "it's fine. What you guys do in your room doesn't need to concern anybody else, only you two. Just as long as your parents have had the talk with you about safe sex?" I joked, pointing my fork at him accusingly. 

He chuckled nervously in response. "We weren't, uh, having sex. Just.. making out, I guess."

I gasped jokingly. "Todd Anderson, you naughty boy! I'm shocked! " We both laughed at this, the blush still raging hard on Todd's face. "On a serious note though, I really am so happy for you guys. You deserve each other, and most importantly, you both deserve every bit of happiness in the world and if you can give that to each other, then so be it."

"Thank you." Todd replied. "You know, it's weird. I never really even thought that I was gay before, until I met him. It's almost as if I'm... Neil-sexual, or something. Either way, I can't believe I got this lucky. Neil is the most perfect guy in the entire world in every possible way. You know, he could've probably had any person he wanted and they would've taken him in a second. Yet, he chose me, this shy boy who's really nothing special and couldn't even form sentences around him when we first met, but got lucky enough to be assigned as his roommate. He, uh, shook my hand on the first day and smiled at me, and I knew from the second I saw his face that I was in serious trouble. He could've completely ignored me if he wanted to, he didn't have to introduce me to his friends or force me to join the society, but he did anyways. And I don't know what I did to deserve that, but I know he's the best thing that could have ever happened to me."

"He did it because he thought you were amazing." I heard, and turned around to see Neil standing there with a large smile on his face, probably having heard everything that Todd just said. He walked around the table so he was sitting next to Todd, holding the boys hand under the table and looking into his eyes. "From the first second he saw you, it was like a magnet or something, drawing him in and forcing him to take care of you. And you were just so damn cute, there's no way in hell he could've ignored that. But then the real moment he knew that he was meant to be with you was when you created that amazing poem in front of our English class. You were fantastic, and you had always been so quiet, but then you opened your mouth and this beautiful, meaningful poem just came out. Now, that's when I knew I was in some serious trouble."

The two sat in silence, just staring at each other for a couple of minutes until I felt like a serious third wheel. I knew that if we weren't in a room surrounded by waiters and teachers that they would've started making out, their emotional connection pulling the two together like two magnets. 

"Okay," I interjected, and they both stared at me in alarm as if they had completely forgotten I was even there, which they probably did. "As happy as I am for you guys, you don't need to make me feel like a third wheel." 

Neil laughed. "Sorry, Ally."

"Don't be." I answered, taking a bite of the eggs and then cringing at the off-pudding taste. "You guys are cute together, and, as I was just telling Todd, I'm happy for you both."

Todd blushed again and Neil squeezed his hand before letting go so he could scoop out his own breakfast. "So, now that our relationship is out of the way, what's going on between you and Charlie?"

I choked on my orange juice at the statement, staring at Neil with raised eyebrows. "There is nothing going on between me and Charlie!"

Neil smirked. "Look, I've known Charlie a lot longer than the two of you have. Usually when he's around girls he just flirts and tries to hook-up with them. He's been different with you lately, more open and happier. He's different, which means that he likes you, and I may not know you very well but I'm beginning to think that you're starting to like him too. So, what's going on?"

"You read too far into things, Neil. There is nothing going on, we've just become really good friends." Now, I knew that was a lie, but Neil didn't need to know that. 

"Maybe not on your side then, but I'm pretty sure Charlie likes you."

I shook my head. "Even if he does, nothing is going to happen between us, guys."

"Why not?" Todd asked, looking up from his bagel. 

"Because nothing can happen." I said, having no real reason other than the fact that I was from another century, but I couldn't tell them that. 

"That isn't a very good reason." Neil argued. 

"Look, I can deal with my own personal life guys." I defended. 

"Hey," Neil started with a laugh, "don't forget that you pushed Todd and I to admit our feelings for each other since basically the beginning of school! Now, it's out turn to have a little fun. Plus, Charlie's my best friend. I gotta give him a hand if I think I can."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever Neil."

"Eventually the matchmaker has to find her own match." Todd encouraged. 

"Hey," I said, pointing my fork at him again, "you be quiet."

"I'm not trying to piss you off, Ally. I'm just thinking, because of you, we're happier than we've ever been before. We just want you to be happy, too."

I smiled, touched by the sentiment but still not willing to give in. "Thank you, guys. But I can deal with my own personal life and my feelings on my own. You guys just worry about being happy."

"Well, that shouldn't be too hard." Knox's voice answered, and he sat down next to me. "The world is a great place, how could anyone not be happy?"

"Still thinking about Chris?" Neil asked with a smirk.

"Yeah." Knox answered dreamily, and I flicked a piece of fruit at him with a laugh. 

The four of us all burst into laughter at the break in the spell Knox was under, continuing to laugh and pick on Knox until the rest of the boys eventually showed up. Meeks and Pitts were next, taking seats next to Neil. After that it was Cameron, who took a seat next to Knox. Then, the dreaded moment came when Charlie walked towards the table, amd I almost wanted to hide. We still hadn't talked about what happened the day earlier, and I was terrified that things were going to remain to be awkward. 

"Morning, Charlie." Neil said. 

Charlie only nodded in response, making eye contact briefly with me before moving to sit next to Pitts at the end of the table and silently scooping some eggs and bacon onto his plate with a solemn expression. Neil raised his eyebrows at me in concern, but I could only shrug in response. 

"Okay, guys," Knox started, eyes wide with excitement and clearly not sensing the tension that had now taken over the table, "what should I wear to the party Friday night?"

We all groaned in response, knowing very well that there was no way in hell Knox was ever going to shut up about the party until it happened, and even then, if it went well he was never going to shut up about how fantastic Chris was and how they were for sure going to spend the rest of their lives together. 

"Just wear your Welton uniform or something, Knox." I answered. "It's formal, and you can demonstrate that you go to a fancy prep school, which will impress her."

"Or it will get him beat up!" Cameron exclaimed. "Ridgeway kids think that Welton kids are obnoxious and snobby. Shouldn't you know this?"

I shrugged, and Charlie glared at me curiously. 

"Look, Knox, just wear casual clothes or something." He answered. "That way you might fit in a little bit better."

"You know there's more than likely going to be some sort of alcohol there, right?" I said. 

Knox shrugged. "It's not like I've never drunken alcohol before. Somebody always manages to sneak some in somehow."

I looked at him with concern. "Yeah, but this is different than a couple of guys passing a bottle of wine around. This is a bunch of jocks trying to get wasted with full knowledge that there are no parents around to get them in trouble for it. Just don't get drunk, please. Wouldn't want you to do something stupid, you know, other than going to a party at the house of the girl you love's boyfriend. Plus, I seriously doubt you'll want a teacher figuring out you're hungover the next morning."

"You worry too much." Knox said. "Look, I won't get completely wasted. I'll be smart."

"Yeah, right." I muttered, and if Knox heard me he didn't react. 

"What do you guys think Mr. Keating is going to do today?" Neil asked. 

We all responded with various echoes of no idea, or I don't know but I can't wait, but before we could discuss the topic any further the bell rang out, signalling the end of breakast while simultaneously telling us to get our asses to our block A classes. 

"I guess we'll find out soon." I said, picking up my books and heading out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked this short little chapter, please leave a kudos or comment if you did! And just a warning, this story is going to take a much more emotional turn after this chapter since dramatic stuff starts happening, so prepare your tissues! (Lol, don't worry, it's probably not going to be that bad, but some parts near the end will be extremely sad!)


	21. The Four Pillars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this chapter is where the story starts to take a darker turn. Ally gets a lecture from Nolan about some things he believes may be going on, scaring her and causing her to make a pretty bad decision....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There's underage drinking and mention of throw up in this chapter!

Many hours and boring classes later, we all stood in a semi-circle in the courtyard during English, with Mr. Keating standing in front of us. He had, for some reason, decided to bring us outside for class today, but I was nowhere near protesting. Once we were all outside, Mr. Keating had called on Pitts, Knox and Cameron, and we were now observing them as they strolled in a circle around the yard. 

"No grades at stake, gentlemen. Just take a stroll." Mr. Keating encouraged, observing them as well. After a couple of laps, the three boys managed to find a rhythm, beginning to march to the same beat. "There it is." We all started enthusiastically clapping along to the beat as Mr. Keating began a dramatic chant. "I don't know, but I've been told!"

"I don't know, but I've been told!" We all called back.

"Doing poetry is old!"

"Doing poetry is old!"

"Left-left, left-right-left. Left, left, left-right-left. Left, halt!" Mr. Keating chanted, marching alongside the three. The three marchers quickly came to a halt when he announced it before moving to stand off to the side and allow Mr. Keating to teach, and we burst into applause and laughter at the comedic display. "Thank you, gentlemen. If you noticed, everyone started off with their own stride, their own pace." He began walking very slowly and lazily around the courtyard. "Mr. Pitts, taking his time. He knew he'll get there one day. Mr. Cameron, you could see him thinking 'Is this right? It might be right. It might be right. I know that. Maybe not. I don't know.'" He then began dramatically walking with his groin pushed forward, causing us to burst into laughter and Knox to kick the ground in embarrassment. "Mr. Overstreet, driven by deeper force. Yes. We know that. All right. Now, I didn't bring them up here to ridicule them. I brought them up here to illustrate the point of conformity: the difficulty in maintaining your own beliefs in the face of others. Now, those of you - I see the look in your eyes like, 'I would've walked differently.' Well, ask yourselves why you were clapping. Now, we all have a great need for acceptance. But you must trust that your beliefs are unique, your own, even though others may think them odd or unpopular, even though the herd may go, 'That's baaaaad.' Robert Frost said, 'Two roads diverged in a wood and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.' Now, I want you to find your own walk right now. Your own way of striding, pacing. Any direction. Anything you want. Whether it's proud, whether it's silly, anything. Students, the courtyard is yours."

We all spread out and began doing our own ridiculous walks, some silly, or some casual. But the point was clear: they were all our own and each somehow matched our personalities in their own ways. I myself chose to skip and twirl in joy around the courtyard, laughing as I went along. I noticed some of the others doing their walks, but was especially warmed by Neil and Todd walking very close to each other, wide smiles on their faces. "You don't have to perform. Just make it for yourself." Mr. Keating called. "Mr. Dalton?" I looked over to where Charlie was standing and realized that he wasn't walking like the rest of us, opting instead to lean casually against one of the pillars. "Will you be joining us?"

"Exercising the right not to walk, sir."

"Thank you, Mr. Dalton. You just illustrated the point. Swim against the stream."

I took this opportunity to skip my way over to where Charlie was standing, wanting to finally figure this whole situation out and have Charlie back as my friend again. "Why do I feel like you've been avoiding me all day?" 

"No idea."

"Charlie."

"What?" He snapped, lifting his head up with a glare.

"Can we please be cool again?"

"When were we ever not cool?" He shrugged, but still refused to make eye contact. 

"You know what I'm talking about, Charlie."

He shook his head at the ground. "I told you, I walked away from you because I wanted to talk to Knox. Not because of what you said."

I looked at him for a couple seconds before realizing that I wasn't going to get anything else out of him today. "Well, you walked away from me then, so make it up to me by walking with me now."

"What?"

"You heard me. Walk with me."

"I just said that I'm exercising the right not to walk. Now, if I walked with you then I would be going against my own beliefs, and that would be going against the whole point of this lesson."

"Just walk with me, Dalton."

He smirked and reluctantly stood up straight and started sauntering beside me with a smirk, allowing our shoulders to bump against each other as we walked. I was enjoying it, the calmness of the situation and the ease with which we walked together, when I glanced up and noticed the glaring, menacing figure of Mr. Nolan standing in a window, observing us with an unhappy expression. I cleared my throat and stepped away from Charlie, much to his confusion.

"Nolan." I mumbled, just loud enough so he could hear. Charlie quickly flicked his eyes upward to the window where Nolan was still glaring at us, quickly getting the message and turning so he was walking in an opposite direction. I was quite literally saved by the bell then, which rang out loudly. I was hoping to just be able to grab my things and head to my room after that, but instead was interrupted by the headmaster himself in the hallway. 

"May I speak to you in my office for a moment, Ms. Wharton?"

I nervously nodded. "Of course, sir."

Nolan sharply turned around, expecting me to follow him. I shot an anxious glance at the rest of the boys before shakily following Nolan into his large office, where he had already taken a position behind his desk. I took a seat in front of his desk in an uncomfortable wooden chair, continuously pushing my biege skirt over my knees and adjusting the tight ponytail that was encasing my blonde waves, ensuring that he had nothing to criticize about my appearance. Nolan stood up and paced behind his desk, moving to stare out the window so his back was facing me. "Do you know the four pillars, Ms. Wharton?"

"Um, tradition, honour, discipline, excellence, sir."

"Correct." He turned to me, his expression unchanging. "Now, I don't really think the tradition pillar suits you, does it?"

I gulped. "No, sir."

"Now, honour. Do you think sneaking into the boys rooms or allowing them into your room is very honourable, Ms. Wharton? Or participating in their sports practices, another one of my rules that you may have broken?" My eyes were wide open in alarm, afraid that this was the end, the moment I was going to get expelled. "Now, of course these are just rumours that I have heard, so I have no way of proving whether or not they are true, but if they are, I'm sure you understand the consequences of these actions."

"Y-yes sir." 

"Good. Discipline is, I think, another pillar that might not be entirely on your side as a result of what I had just mentioned. That leaves excellence. Your marks are alright, nothing spectactular though, and you aren't involved in any extracurricular activities for a separate reason. So, Ms. Wharton, that leaves you with maybe one, but more than likely none, of the four pillars on your side, meaning that your house could very soon be crumbling if you aren't careful. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"I could get expelled, sir?"

"Something along those lines, for certain. Now, Ms. Wharton I would greatly appreciate it if these rumours, or at least the cause of them, would stop as soon as possible and if you would focus more on your studies and rebuilding your four pillars so you can continue your education here and graduate like the rest of your family did than interacting with individuals such as Charles Dalton. Do you agree with me, Ms. Wharton?"

I quickly nodded. I had come so far and accomplished so much, I couldn't just get expelled before I had the chance to do something to save Neil and see my goal to completion. "Of course, sir. I agree."

"Good. I'm glad you have made this conversation easy. You are dismissed, Ms. Wharton. I hope to see some changes made in your time here soon."

I quickly nodded before I practically jumped out of the room and ran up to where the bedrooms where, tossing my bag on the floor of my own room before barging into Charlie's, much to his and Cameron's alarm. "Where's your secret stash, Dalton? I know you have liquor hidden in here somewhere and I want it."

He looked at me curiously before cautiously reaching under his bed and producing a large textbook that was revealed to be hollowed out, allowing for a flask to fit comfortable inside of it. He passed it to me, and I wasted no time in unscrewing the cap and taking a long sip of the liquid, which proved itself to be some pretty strong stuff. Good. I didn't care about the potential consequences of the actions as I continued to take long sips of the drink, enjoying the feeling of it burning my throat as it passed through me. Cameron and Charlie were silent, watching me with curious stares. 

"I take it Nolan didn't have anything good to say?" Charlie asked.

"Of course not." I replied, my voice slightly raspy as a result of the drink. I closed the door and plopped down into his desk chair so I could continue to chat without the risk of falling over in a couple of minutes. "He went on and on about the fact that none of the four pillars are on my side right now, meaning my house could very soon be tumbling over, aka I could very soon be getting expelled." Another swig. "Also, somehow he's been hearing rumours of me entering your rooms or you entering mine, so if you know anyone who could be telling him about that, please punch them as soon as possible." Another swig. 

"Wait, what?" Cameron interjected. "If he knows about that, then you can't be in here right now! You need to leave!"

"Would you relax?" Charlie sneered.

"No, Dalton, unlike you, I actually care about whether or not I stay at this school so, Ally, you need to get out before someone catches you, because it wouldn't just be you getting in trouble, it would be us too! And I refuse to get expelled all because of some girl!"

"What is going on in here?" The voice of Dr. Hager boomed as he thrust the door open, and I was quick to shove myself into Charlie's closet as fast as I could and quietly hold my breath, attempting not to make a single sound. 

"Nothing, Dr. Hager." Charlie covered. 

"Then what was all that yelling about?"

"We were just debating something, sir." Cameron said. "History assignment. We seem to have very different views about what the main cause of World War One was."

"I see." It was silent for a couple more minutes as Hager probably inspected the room and thought about what the boys were saying before I could finally hear him depart with the sound of a closing door. "Carry on, boys." I waited in the closet for a couple more minutes though just to make sure he was really gone. 

"He's gone." Charlie said. "You can come out now."

I staggered my way out of the closet, the drink starting to take its effect on me. "I'm so fucked."

"No, you're not."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you are not. We're gonna figure this out."

I shook my head, tears threatening to escape as a combination of both the stress and the alcohol coursing through my blood. My stomach was churning rapidly, and before I could respond, I felt bile rising in my throat and sprinted down the hall to my bathroom to puke up the liquor and the meager contents of my stomach. I could hear murmurs coming from behind the other side of the closed door as I retched for at least a couple of minutes before burying my face in my hands and leaning against the wall in shame and despair, the tears falling freely down my cheeks. I sat there in silence for a couple of minutes before a cautious knock sounded on the door.

"Ally," the voice of Knox sounded, "can we come in?"

"Yup." I croaked. The boys all quietly walked in, sympathetic looks on their faces. 

"Charlie told us what happened." Knox said, closing the toilet lid and sitting down on it. Neil and Todd sat down the floor across from me, leaving Charlie to sit next to me. Meeks and Pitts took spots sitting on the sink and against the shower, respectively. Cameron was nowhere to be found, probably still mad that I almost got him in trouble. 

"Yeah, it sucks, doesn't it?" I said, rubbing my temple and wiping the tears off my cheeks. 

"Ally," Neil started, "you know that we're going to figure this out. We just have to be more careful than we were before."

I shook my head. "That's the biggest understatement of all time, Neil. It's bad enough that Nolan suspects that I've been in your rooms, if he found out that I have snuck off campus with you guys before to read poetry in a cave..." I shook my head. "Not only would I be expelled, you guys would be in some serious shit too."

"Don't go there." Todd said, nudging my foot with his. 

"It's gonna be fine." Knox repeated. "There's no way anybody's gonna find out about the society unless we tell them, which we won't."

"Or, we could get caught sneaking off campus one night. Or coming back at 2 in the morning. So much could go wrong guys, maybe I just shouldn't go to meetings anymore."

"Has anyone ever told you that you worry too much?" Charlie smirked, nudging me with elbow. 

I laughed. "A couple of times." The rest of the guys chuckled along with me for a couple of seconds. 

"We want you there, Ally." Neil encouraged. "You're an original member of the society, it just wouldn't be the same without you."

"Exactly." Charlie agreed. "Don't let Nolan scare you away from doing what you want to do. Carpe diem after all, right?"

I thought for a moment, tossing my options back and forth, before finally deciding that they were right. I couldn't let a little threat from Nolan prevent me from having fun and enjoying my life. So, I slowly nodded my head, and the boys smiled and quietly applauded. 

"Hey, didn't you tell me just a couple of hours ago not to get drunk?" Knox joked once the applause died down, picking up the flask that I had tossed on the floor in my mad dash to get to the bathroom. 

"Oh, God!" I exclaimed with a groan. "Charlie, you can have that back I really don't want it anymore."

"Nah, keep it." He shrugged. "It's not the only one I have, trust me."

"At least dump it out, then. I don't think I can drink that stuff ever again. What even is in there?"

"Moonshine." He shrugged, unscrewing the cap and pouring the liquid down the sink. "You might've liked it if you didn't chug it so quickly."

"Doubt it." I reluctantly leaned forward, looking around the room at all of their concerned faces. "Okay, thank you for the support but can you guys get out now so I can get a shower and brush my teeth, I, uh, can't stand the taste of vomit."

The boys all stood up and left, some of them giving me hugs and hair ruffles before they exited, others leaving with sympathetic looks. And then I was alone again, sitting on the cold, tile floor of a bathroom and wondering what the fuck I was supposed to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Awww, poor Ally! The next chapter will be a bit more light-hearted (the iconic desk-set scene!) but as a whole, the story starts to get sad at this point. Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter and I will hopefully have the next one up soon!


	22. The World's First, Unmanned, Flying Desk Set

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally witnesses the desk-set scene after being on the roof at the right time, but then when Charlie shows up the night takes a very drastic and devastating turn...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the most emotional chapters I've written so far, but I think it's my favourite one! One of my biggest fears when I started this story was that I wouldn't be able to incorporate the desk set because the story is written in Ally's perspective, but I think I figured it out! Hope you guys like this chapter (have your tissues ready!)

The next few days continued with caution and fear that the tiniest wrong-doing was going to result in my expulsion. The rest of the boys were cautious too, never even knocking on my door or asking me to walk through theirs. It was as if all of the energy and courage we had originally prided ourselves in having had been sucked away with one short conversation and reprimanding from Mr. Nolan. It was a miracle we were even willing to continue our meetings, with the next one scheduled for Friday night. Now, Thursday night, I sat on the school roof after desiring a break from the confines of my room and the school, attempting to get some fresh air as well as to get some Latin homework done. I was quietly reciting the verbs under my breath when I heard Neil's voice. 

"Todd?" Wait. Todd was up here too? I quietly stood up and peered around the corner of the small peak that I was leaning up against to see Todd sitting down, leaning against the edge of the roof, a wrapped package sitting next to him. Neil approached him, his script in hand. He must have just come back from rehearsal. "Hey."

"Hey." Todd muttered in return. His sadness was obvious, and I racked my brain to try to come up with an event that could cause him to feel so depressed, but came up with nothing. 

"What's going on?" Neil asked, clearly noticing Todd's demeanor too.

"Nothing." He initially said, but was quick to change his mind. "Today's my birthday." Wait. Today was Todd's birthday? Why didn't he tell anyone?

"Is today your birthday?" Neil asked, quietly and very un-Neil-like. I couldn't believe that even Neil didn't know that today was Todd's birthday. "Happy birthday."

"Thanks."

"What'd you get?" Neil gestured towards the wrapped package sitting beside Todd. 

"My parents gave me this." Despite my peering, I couldn't make out what was sitting beside him, and could only hope that Neil would say what it was. 

"Isn't this the same desk set...?" They got him a desk set?

"Yeah, yeah. They gave me the same thing as last year." My heart broke at the sadness in Todd's voice and the obvious lack of love that his parents had for the poor boy, and I could tell that Neil was at a loss for words too, racking his brain to come up with some way to make the poor boy who had stolen his heart happy again. I wanted to go help, comfort Todd in some way, but I knew if he knew that I had heard, he would hate me for it. Plus, there was only one person who could ever fully cheer Todd up, and that was Neil. 

"Oh."

"Oh." Todd echoed with a bitter chuckle, clearly understanding Neil's lack of a response.

"Maybe they thought you needed another one." Neil laughed, probably trying to ease the situation, but I knew it wasn't going to work. 

Todd chucked too, but his reply was still bitter. "Maybe they weren't thinking about anything at all. Uh, the funny thing is about this is I, I didn't even like it the first time."

"Todd, I think you're underestimating the value of this desk set." Neil said, bending down and picking the desk set up. Todd looked at him with curiousity, and I couldn't help but be intrigued too. "I mean, who would want a football or a baseball..."

"Or a car." Todd supplied, catching on to the joke. 

"Or a car if they could have a desk set as wonderful as this one? I mean, if, if I were ever going to buy a desk set twice, I would probably but this one both times. In fact, its, its shape is, it's rather areodynamic, isn't it? I can feel it. This desk set wants to fly." Todd's face broke out in a large smile as Neil passed him the desk set, standing up and overlooking the field along with his boyfriend. "Todd? The world's first unmanned, flying desk set."

Todd, with a loud yell, tossed the desk set over the edge, sending papers and pencils flying all over the place. Neil burst into laughter, and I myself was struggling to keep my laughter in so they wouldn't realize I had been watching. It dawned on me that Neil really was the most amazing person, who only ever cared for the people around him and their happiness. Why did the good one have to die at the end of the story? It just didn't seem fair to me at the time. 

"Oh my!" Neil exclaimed. "Well, I wouldn't worry. You'll get another one next year." 

Todd looked at Neil and chuckled, staring in silence at the boy for a couple minutes. "Thank you."

"For what?" 

"Making this day suck just a little bit less. You always somehow manage to make every day better. It's, uh, it's an ability that I wish I had sometimes." 

"Oh, Todd. It's your birthday, of course I wouldn't want it to suck. I just wish you would've told me earlier so I could've made the entire day better, not just the end of it."

Todd shook his head. "My parents have never cared about my birthday, only Jeffrey's. I didn't want to come here and have everyone make this big deal and sing and eat cake and all that bullshit. My parents never thought I deserved it, so why should anyone else?"

"Todd," Neil gently replied, moving to gently caress Todd's face with his hand, "you deserve to be treated like you matter and like you are special because you are. You're the most amazing person I've ever met and don't let anyone tell you or make you feel like you aren't. You deserve everything, Todd."

Todd smiled softly. "I love you so much. More than I've ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life."

"I love you too, Todd."

"I love you more."

"Not possible." Neil answered, leaning forward so he could press his lips gently to Todd's. They kissed for a couple seconds before breaking apart. Neil quickly looked around to make sure no one had saw before grabbing Todd's hand and starting to pull him away. "C'mon."

"Where are we going?" Todd laughed. 

"It's your birthday, I've got to give you a present."

"You actually have a present for me?"

Instead of responding, Neil pushed Todd against a wall and firmly kissed him, and I could hear Todd gasping for breath. "You gonna stop asking questions now?" Neil muttered in a deep, low voice once he pulled away, and Todd rapidly nodded his head, his lips swollen and cheeks alight with what was probably a mixture of lust, love and happiness. With matching smirks, the two boys ran off together with joyous laughs, both already stripping their coats off in anticipation of what was to come that night. 

I chuckled a little at their actions before finally before sitting back down against the wall and opening my Latin book, hoping to finish this soon so I could return to my own bedroom. Of course that couldn't happen, though.

"I think I might have to lend Neil some condoms soon." Charlie said, emerging from the shadows with a cigarette in his hand. "Or lube."

"How long have you been listening, Charlie?"

"Probably just as long as you have." He stamped out his cigarette and then moved to sit next to me, sitting close enough that our thighs were pressed together. "I came out so I could have a smoke without pissing Cameron off, never thought I would have ended up witnessing Neil and Todd declaring their love for each other and then running off to fuck for the rest of the night."

"They're happy and in love. I'm happy for them."

"Me too. They both have such shitty families, at least they can receive love from each other."

"Everyone deserves love, Charlie. Doesn't matter who it comes from or what your family is like, you deserve to have at least one person to love and who can love you back."

He was silent for a moment before lifting his head so he could look at me. "You think I deserve to be loved?"

"Yeah."

"I don't."

"Why would you think that? Why wouldn't anyone love you, Charlie?"

"Because I'm an asshole, and a douchebag. I get joy out of pissing people off when I first meet them, and then when I get close to them I push them away because the thought of actually loving someone and them loving me is terrifying. I'm almost guaranteed to get lung cancer when I grow up because I can't go five minutes without smoking, I drink stolen liquor all the time, I'm only doing decent in school, it's, it's actually a miracle I haven't flunked out yet, and, on top of all that, my own parents don't even give a damn about me." He shook his head at the ground and looked to be blinking away tears, but I could never tell for sure. "I have nothing going for me, so why would anyone ever love me?"

I put a comforting hand on his shoulder before gently replying with, "Because besides all that, you're funny, and loyal to your friends, and confident. You're also determined, you stand up for what you believe in even if you're the only person in the entire world who does. You're also attending one of the hardest schools in the country and are probably going to be graduating from it next year. You can also play some really beautiful music that is able to move people to tears, you're practically the next Beethoven." He smirked at this. "But besides all that, you're handsome, and I have seen a side of you lately that is kind, honest, open, 100% genuine and lovable. Someday, there will be a girl who will get to see that side and will fall so deeply in love with you that she's never gonna be able to stop thinking about you."

Charlie looked at me intensely, his brow furrowing in concentration and lips parting. "Why can't that girl be you?"

I looked at the ground and shook my head. "Charlie..."

"No. You have been giving me mixed signals for the longest time now. One day you're opening up to me and telling me how incredible I am and the next you're telling me there's no way in hell you're ever going to want to be with me! Well, I'm ending that, right here, right now. Ally Wharton, you are the most incredible girl I've ever met. You're funny, kind, smart, beautiful, strong and every other good thing a girl can be. You can match wits with me when I'm being difficult, but then we're alone you change me and make me a completely different person than I ever was. You're the only person who has ever been able to do that. I'm falling for you, okay? I am. And I might have already fallen in too deep. So, all I'm asking is: is there any chance in the entire world that you could possibly feel the same way about me and we could be in love together?"

Words can't even describe how hard this moment was for me, how much it made my heart hurt. I was crying, and he had tears in his eyes, I could see them so clearly now. And my heart was bursting and I loved him so much in that moment and I could picture a future where I was happy with him and he didn't have to suffer divorce after divorce trying to find a girl that understood him and could love him as much as he deserved to be loved, but... But it couldn't happen. Because if I were to be with him now, I'd never be able to leave when I had to. I would have to give up what was waiting for me in 2018, and that just wasn't possible. I knew these next few words were going to tear the both of us apart and we could never be friends again, but they had to be said. I had to swallow back so many tears and sobs to say them, but I had to do it. I had to.

"Charlie. I'm so, so sorry, but I don't think I could ever feel the same way about you as you do about me."

I did it. I did it, and it hurt so badly, and Charlie looked completely devastated, and all I wanted to do was take the words back but I couldn't do it, I couldn't. So, I sat there like the idiot that I was and watched the boy that I knew I was slowly falling in love with compose himself after receiving what was probably the worst news he had ever heard: that the girl he loved didn't love him back. 

But I did though. I did, and I just couldn't tell him about it. Which was even worse. 

Charlie wiped the tears from his eyes and stood up. "Okay." He muttered, sparing me one last look before walking away. 

'Wait, Charlie!" I exclaimed, pushing myself up. He turned around to look at me, and it hurt how hopeful he looked, thinking that I was taking it back and loved him after all. I wish that was what I was doing. "Someday, some girl is going to love you back, and she is going to be the luckiest girl in the world." He shook his head angrily and continued walking away, and I ran after him despite myself. "Charlie!"

"Don't!" He yelled, snapping back around. The tears were falling freely down both of our faces now. "You've said enough tonight. All you're doing now is adding salt to the wound."

And with that, he walked away, and I couldn't muster up the energy to stop his shadowy figure as it walked away, watching it turn a corner before it was completely gone. I punched the brick wall with a scream, and I knew my knuckles were bleeding but I didn't care. I screamed once more before falling down to the ground and sobbing for the man that I had just hurt, the love that I had just lost, the pain that I had just brought upon myself. And that's how I spent the night, laying on the roof and crying, waiting for my tears to eventually drown me, pinching myself and hoping to wake up from this terrible dream, but it never happened. 

This wasn't even a dream anymore. This was a nightmare. The worst one I had ever had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned you this story was going to start getting emotional! I was genuinely about to start sobbing when writing this, it was so heart-breaking for Charlie! And just fyi, Neil and Todd didn't go ~all the way~ in this chapter, but they might at some point, I haven't decided yet. And as for Ally and Charlie, well, they'll get their ending, it's up to you guys when it comes to decide if it was happy or not.   
> Hope you liked this chapter, pretty please with a cherry on top leave a comment or kudos if you did, and I hope chapter 23 will be up soon (might be a little bit later than what you might be used to, I have to start studying for IB exams soon, but you never know what could happen so keep checking!)


	23. Call Me Nuwanda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally is infuriated not only by Charlie bringing girls to the Dead Poets meeting but also by his declaration that he published a article in the school newspaper demanding that girls be admitted to Welton. Just when Ally thinks the night couldn't get any worse, a drunk Knox shows up, forcing Ally and Charlie to take care of him. In the process of caring for their friend, Ally and Charlie get into another argument which leads to Ally making a shocking declaration that could change everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken me longer than usual to update, but school had been stressing me out lately and this chapter was extremely long and difficult to get right. I hope you guys enjoy reading it anyways, and I promise I will try and get chapter 24 up soon!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Dead Poets Society or any of the characters or conversations that happen in it.

It was obvious Charlie and I were not ourselves the next day. We went out of our way to ignore each other, and Charlie had lost all of the humour and snarkiness that he had previously prided himself on having. I knew my eyes were still swollen from sobbing and knuckles still split from punching the wall, but I didn't care anymore. I tried to smile and maintain my normally happy appearance the entire day, but it was significantly harder than normal. The other boys clearly picked up on our negative moods and pestered the both of us to try and figure out what happened, but to no avail. I dragged myself through the day lazily, skipping out on most meals for fear that I would run in to Charlie and be forced to confront what happened the night before. I was even considering not going to the Dead Poets meeting that night, because I knew he would be there. I was planning on just staying locked in my room the entire night when Knox knocked on my door. 

"Hey, Ally, can you come help me with something?"

I dragged myself off my bed and opened the door to see an anxious Knox standing there. Oh, right, Chet's party was tonight. Knox had attempted to clean up his appearance, gelling his hair back and wearing his Welton uniform without the blazer. A smile was spread across his face, but he was furiously tapping his foot against the floor and adjusting his appearance, clear signals to me that he was terrified. 

"What do you need?" I asked. "It looks to me like you're pretty much ready to go."

"Is this outfit good?" He nervously asked, adjusting the Welton coat he was wearing. 

I gave him a small, but encouraging smile. "Yeah, it's, uh, great, Knox. You look very handsome."

He smiled. "You think Chris is gonna like it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure she will."

Knox nodded with a smile. "I didn't think I would be this nervous, but this night could determine whether or not Chris and I end up together. What if I mess it up? Then she won't fall in love with me and I'll never have a chance with her!"

"Relax, Knox. You're kind, smart and a gentleman. Talk to Chris tonight and there's no way she won't fall in love with you."

I barely had the energy to tell that to Knox. Love was the very last thing I wanted to be thinking about right now. 

"Okay." Knox said, nodding frantically. "You're right. All I have to do is talk to her. Thank you, Ally!" He enveloped me in a quick hug before walking away, but then turned around just as quickly. "Are you going to the meeting today?"

"I don't know, I was kind of considering staying here tonight."

Knox raised his eyebrows before folding his arms across his chest. "What happened between you and Charlie?"

"Nothing, Knox."

"Clearly something happened. You've been ignoring each other all day, and you both look extremely depressed."

I shook my head. "We just... had a little bit of a falling-out and, if I'm being honest, it might be for the best that we aren't speaking to each other right now, because I doubt we'd have very nice things to say." That was a lie. It was obvious Charlie and I regarded each other very highly, it was just too hard to speak to each other at the moment, after everything that had happened last night. 

Knox gave me a sympathetic look. "Go to the meeting tonight, Ally. And talk to Charlie. It's weird; the two of you not getting along. You need to work through your issues so that the group can go back to normal."

I shook my head sympathetically. "I don't know if that can happen, Knox."

"Well, there's no harm in trying." Knox gave me a pat on the shoulder before walking away, leaving me standing alone in my doorway. I reluctantly went back to my bed and closed the door, tossing the decision back and forth of whether or not I was going to attend tonights meeting. On the one hand, it would give me a chance to get a break from the school and maybe have some fun. On the other hand, I knew Charlie would be there, and we were running a pretty big risk of getting in trouble that I wasn't really in a position to take. I had made up my mind that it was safer to stay at the school when there was another knocking at the door. 

"Hey, Ally, it's Todd. Look, I know you're not in the best mood right now, but can you please come to the meeting tonight? We all want you there, and it's better than sitting in your room by yourself all night." He was silent for a second, probably waiting for me to reply. When I didn't, he continued. "We're leaving at 10. Meet us in the foyer by then if you're coming."

I buried my face in my hands and checked the time: 8:45. I had an hour and fifteen minutes to make up my mind. I knew I should be there for Todd and the rest of the boys who didn't probably hate me right now, but the one who did was the only one on my mind. But, if I stayed here alone I'd be in an even worse mood tomorrow...

Oh, fuck it. I'll go to the damn meeting. 

...

When 10 o'clock rolled around, I quietly left my room and ran down to the main foyer, where all the boys except for Charlie and Knox, who had left a while ago, were waiting for me. 

"You came!" Todd exclaimed. 

"Yeah." I shrugged. "It's better than staying in my room by myself all night. Where's, uh, where's Charlie?"

"No idea." Neil replied. "He said he was coming though, so he'll probably just meet us there."

I nodded, and then we were all leaving to run the usual path through the forest. When we finally got there, the cave was lit up as usual by the typical magic, but something still felt off about the night in general. Like a looming feeling that something was going to go wrong tonight. We all took our seats in silence, beginning to recite the opening message with still no sign of Charlie. 

"I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. To put to rout all that was not life..." All of our voices quickly died down when the sound of female giggles came from outside. Why the hell were there girls here? Our questions seemed to be answered, though, when Charlie's voice was heard too. 

"Oh my God!' Cameron exclaimed. 

"Is this it?" One of the girls' voices said. 

"Yeah, this is it." Charlie's voice replied. "Go ahead, go on in. It's my cave. Watch your step."

"We're not gonna slip are we?" Another female voice asked. How many girls did he bring with him? "Uh-oh."

One girl hopped into the cave, wearing a bright red t-shirt and high waisted jeans, her auburn hair in high curls. Another girl wearing a blue shirt and bright red lipstick followed her, her blonde curls worn in the same style. It occurred to me with just one look that these weren't the uniform-wearing girls of Henley Hall, or the preppy cheerleaders of Ridgeway. These girls were at least in their 20s, probably picked up by Charlie outside of a bar or something, and had no business being around high school boys. The devil himself entered then, a wide smile on his face which faded a little bit when he saw me, but quickly returned when he saw the other boys faces. They had all stood up and were gaping like they had never seen a girl before in their entire life. Pitts even slammed his head on the ceiling of the cave in his rush to get up, much to my enjoyment.

"Hi!" The girl in the red shirt exclaimed with a little wave. "Hello."

"Hi, you guys. Meet, uh, Gloria and-" Charlie started, but the moment became awkward when it was obvious that Charlie had no idea what the blonde girls name was. Typical. 

"Tina."

"Tina! This is the pledge class of the Dead Poets Society." All the boys gave their various greetings to the girls, but I could only glare, having no interest in interacting with them. What the hell was Charlie thinking? "Guys, move. Move. Come on, folks. It's Friday night. Let's get on with the meeting." We all shuffled over so there would be room for the girls to sit down, with me ending up squished between Neil and Todd, who shot me a sympathetic glance. I knew I should have stayed home tonight. "Guys, I have an announcement to make. In keeping with the spirit of passionate experimentation of the Dead Poets, I'm giving up the name Charlie Dalton. From now on, call me Nuwanda."

"Nuwanda?" Pitts exclaimed with a bark of laughter. 

"Nuwanda?" Neil echoed. I chose not to reply, instead burying my face in my hands. What the hell was he trying to accomplish here? There was certainly no need of changing his name just to impress a couple of girls. 

Tina pulled out a tube of red lipstick, but before she could apply it, Charlie snatched it from her hands and put red marks on each of his cheeks before passing it back to her and sitting down. "Well, we gonna have a meeting or what?"

"Yeah." Gloria encouraged. "If you guys don't have a meeting, how do we know if we wanna join?"

"Join?" Neil exclaimed, his anger and annoyance obvious. Him and Todd were the only two who shared my feelings of annoyance with the situation, being the only two boys not influenced by the girl's breasts. 

Charlie leaned over to Tina with a smile. "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate." 

Tina sighed. "That's so sweet."

"I made that up just for you." I rolled my eyes at this. We all knew Charlie had taken that from somewhere.

"You did?" Neil and Todd shared a glance and a smirk. Clearly they knew Charlie was bullshiting as much as I did. 

"I'll write one for you too, Gloria. She walks in beauty like the night. Of cloudless climbs and starry skies. All that's best, dark and bright, meet in her aspect and in her eyes." 

"That's beautiful!" Gloria sighed, and I tried not to groan. She was annoyingly attracted to him. 

"There's plenty more where that came from." Charlie sat down again with a satisfied smirk.

"I'm sorry for making you come tonight." Todd whispered, just loud enough so I could hear it. "I'm sure this is making you pretty uncomfortable."

"It's not your fault they're here." I whispered back, shooting a glare at Charlie, who either didn't notice or didn't care.

Tina pulled a bottle of whiskey from her bag, taking a sip and then passing it over to Neil. "Go ahead, pass it around."

Neil hesitantly held the bottle up to his lips, and I could see Cameron furiously motioning for him not to do it out of the corner of my eye, but Neil only smirked and took a sip, visibly cringing at the taste. He then passed the bottle over to me, and I took pride in taking as big a swig as I possibly could, knowing I would need it to survive the rest of the night. I then passed it to Todd, who passed it to Cameron, who shoved it under a rock. There was a moment of awkward silence where no one knew what else to say. 

"Me and Pitts are working on a hi-fi system." Meeks supplied. "It shouldn't be that hard to, uh, to put together."

"Yeah." Pitts replied. "Uh, I might be going to Yale. Uh, uh, but, I, I might not."

"Don't you guys miss having girls around here?" Gloria supplied to fill the next moment of awkward silence that followed Pitts' uncomfortable declaration. Clearly, I was invisible to her and everyone else that night.

Meeks and Pitts furiously nodded (thanks guys), whereas the other boys were silent. Neil quickly shook his head before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. Clearly, he needed something to get through this night, too.

"That's part of what this club is about." Charlie started. "In fact, I'd like to announce I published an article in the school paper, in the name of the Dead Poets."

"What?" Cameron exclaimed.

"Demanding girls be admitted to Welton." He finished, giving me a quick glance. "More girls."

"You didn't." Pitts said, but it was obvious Charlie did. God, why the hell was he doing all of this?

"So we can all stop beating off." Charlie justified, and I buried my face in my hands, not even able to look at him anymore.

"How did you do that?" Neil asked. He practically had steam coming out of his ears at that point.

"I'm one of the proofers. I slipped the article in." 

"Look, uh, it's, it's over now." Meeks said dejectedly, staring at the ground sadly. 

"Why? Nobody knows who we are."

"Well, don't you think they're gonna figure out who wrote it?" Cameron exclaimed. "They're gonna come to you and ask to know what the Dead Poets Society is. Charlie, you had no right to do something like that." As much as I couldn't stand him most of the time, he was right. We all just got screwed over because of Charlie and his stupidity. 

"It's Nuwanda, Cameron." Charlie sneered, and I really wanted to punch him. 

"That's right. It's Nuwanda." Gloria practically purred, squeezing Charlie's arm affectionately. I wanted to punch her too.

"Are we just playing around out here, or do we mean what we say?" Charlie exclaimed. "All we do is come together and read a bunch of poems to each other. What the hell are we doing?"

"All right, but you still shouldn't have done it, Charlie." Neil said. "This could mean trouble. You don't speak for the club."

"Hey, would you not worry about your precious little neck? If they catch me, I'll them I made it up."

"You realize you just got me expelled right?" I quietly said, lifting my head so I could look at him. "After everything that happened with Nolan this week, after you watched me get drunk and sob on the bathroom floor because I thought it was over, you still did this. I can't believe you, Charlie! If Nolan finds out, I'll be the first one gone."

Charlie stared at me sadly. "Maybe that's not such a bad thing."

I shook my head before pushing myself up. "I'm done. See you later, Nuwanda."

I furiously stormed out of the cave, trying to avoid crying. Going to the meeting tonight was one of the biggest mistakes I had ever made. Falling in love with Charlie was another one of those mistakes. I walked in silence back to the school for a couple of minutes before I heard my name being called, and looked behind me to see the entire crew running towards me, including Neil, who was dragging an angry-looking Charlie behind him by the coat. 

"What happened to the girls?" I asked, crossing my arms and glaring at the source of my anger. 

"I asked them, very nicely, to leave and go back to wherever they came from." Neil said. "Okay, Charlie. Where did you find them and why the hell did you think it was such a good idea to bring them here?"

"God, why are you all so pissed about that? Do you not like having more girls here?"

"Well, of course we do." Pitts said. "It's just that... you should have warned us."

"I thought I'd be spontaneous."

"Where'd you find them?" Neil reiterated. 

"They were walking along the fence past the soccer field. Said they were curious about the school so I invited them to the meeting."

"Do they go to Henley Hall?" Cameron asked. 

"I don't think they're in school."

"They're townies?!"

"That's not the point." I sneered. "The point is that you just threw us all under the bus, and all because you wanted to be a hot-shot and bring some pretty girls to the meeting and then impress them with your poetry and your courage to be able to write an entire article and publish it about how you want girls to attend Welton. Now, those girls are gone, you're totally fucked, the society is over, and the rest of us are probably facing some sort of punishment, too. So really Charlie, sorry, Nuwanda, what did you accomplish tonight?"

"Why do care so much? Are you jealous or something?" He sneered, moving forward so he was right in my face. 

"What the hell would I be jealous about, Charlie, I'm mad about the fact that I'm gonna get expelled!"

"That I was able to get some gorgeous townies to follow me here and make them fall completely in love with me in just a couple of minutes?"

"Oh, please." I scoffed. "They are not in love with you, all they wanted to do was sleep with you."

"Maybe that's all I want from a girl right now."

"I know for a fact it's not."

"Why the fuck would you say that?"

"Because you told me last night that you're in love with me!"

"Yeah, and you rejected me!"

All the other boys fell completely silent at that, giving Charlie and I looks of disbelief. Charlie and I were still face to face, out of breath from screaming at each other. I was beginning to think we were going to stand there forever when a voice interrupted the silence. 

"Guys? Wha's going on?"

"Knox?" Neil asked, stepping away from the group to go see his friend. Charlie and I gave each other one final glare before following him to see what was going on. 

"Holy shit." I said when I caught a look of Knox. His face was covered in bruises and blood and he was barely able to stand, his eyes unfocused and his voice slurred. This was exactly what I feared would happen if he went to this party. "Jesus, Knox, what happened?" I moved closer to put a hand on his back, but Knox abrubtly bent over and vomitted all over the ground, just barely missing my shoes. I jumped back quickly, but then ran forward again when a thought occurred to me. "Knox, look at me." I peered into his eyes and noticed that they were completely out of focus. I also couldn't miss the scent of booze on his breath. I stood up and faced the concerned group. "He's drunk. Very, very drunk. Great. What else could go wrong tonight?"

"Shit." Neil said. "What are we gonna do?"

"Just bring him up to his room, he's gonna pass out anyways." Cameron said. 

"We'll wake up his roommate." Charlie spat. "And if he wakes up in the morning with his face still looking like that, it's gonna cause quite the scene. He can't stay in his room tonight."

"We could leave him in the bathroom?" Todd suggested. "Clean him off and then let him sleep next to the toilet in case he's going to throw up again?"

"Yeah, and then what's going to happen when people go in there and see him passed out on the floor tomorrow morning?" Pitts argued. "He could just stay in one of our rooms."

"Who's?" Neil said. "Somebody would have to sleep on the floor if we went with that option, and I seriously doubt after the night that we've all had that any of us are willing to do that."

"He can stay in my room." I suggested with a shrug. "That way he has a bed to pass out on, and I have my own private bathroom where I can clean him up without anyone finding out. It's the best option."

"Ally," Todd began to argue, "if you get caught with him in your room..."

"I know. But it's the best option we've got, unless any of you have come up with something else?" I was met with shrugs and head shakes from each of them. "Great. C'mon, help me get him upstairs."

"Ally, you can't take care of him on your own." Neil said, moving along with Pitts to sling Knox's arms around their shoulders and begin to walk with him. "Let one of us help you."

"I'll do it." Charlie said. 

"No." I answered with a firm glare. 

"Look, I don't want to be trapped with you just as much as you don't want to be trapped with me. But, I'm probably the only other one here who's ever been drunk, or dealt with a hangover, before. I'm the best option, whether you like it or not."

I looked at Todd, who sympathetically nodded. "Fine." I said through gritted teeth before opening the door to the school, shushing everyone in the process. We somehow managed to make it up the stairs without getting caught, with Neil and Pitts practically carrying Knox and then silently bringing him into my bathroom. 

Neil shot Charlie and I a concerned glance before departing. "Come wake us up if you need any help." Neil whispered before he left, closing the door behind him and leaving Charlie and I alone with a very drunk Knox Overstreet. 

"I'm gonna run down to the cafeteria and steal something for him to eat." Charlie said. "It'll absorb some of the alcohol."

I silently nodded as I wet a washcloth to wipe some of the dried blood off of Knox's face. I was only about halfway done when Charlie reappeared with a couple slices of bread, which he tried to coax Knox into eating to no avail. Charlie and I continued in angry silence for a couple of minutes as I tried to treat Knox's injuries, having to stop every couple of minutes to allow him to puke. Knox definitely was going to have marks on his face tomorrow, including a nose that was more than likely broken and a black eye that I was gonna have to lend him some concealor to help him cover up unless he wanted a questioning from the school nurse. Charlie continued to try to force him to eat, managing to get a few swallows of bread down that he would only throw up later. 

"You fucked up, Charlie." I said, not being able to stand the silence anymore. 

"Would you shut up about that already?" He angrily replied. "I made a spontaneous decision thinking the guys would appreciate it, but instead all I'm getting is shit from you."

"Yeah, did you think that maybe that was because we're all gonna get expelled because of you? Charlie, you can't use the club name for your own personal pleasures because you aren't the only person in the club!"

"Alright, how about we just stop talking for the rest of the night? It seemed to keep us from arguing all day today, it should do wonders now."

"Fine." I sneered, going back to wiping the blood off of Knox's lip. "This is the best we're going to be able to do right now, anyways." I said, tossing the blood-stained washcloth back in the sink. "I got the blood off but the rest of his injuries are just going to have to heal on their own."

"He's gonna have a pounding headache when he wakes up." Charlie replied. "Do you have any painkillers in here that he could take tomorrow morning?"

I ruffled through my cupboard before pulling out some Advil. I popped out two tablets while Charlie filled a glass of water, which he then left on my desk for Knox to grab in the morning. Charlie then dragged the boy into my room and plopped him down on the spare bed, moving a trashcan over in case he threw up again. After everything Knox-related was all settled, Charlie and I stood facing each other, neither of us having any idea what to do next. 

"Goodnight, Charlie." I said, gesturing for him to leave. I didn't have the energy nor the desire to continue arguing with him tonight. 

"Are you sure you're really mad about the paper, or are you jealous about the fact that I had girls with me?"

"Do we have to talk about this right now?" He shrugged. "Look, can we at least make a promise to be quiet? It's bad enough Knox is sleeping in my spare bed, I don't need to get caught with two of you in here."

"I, personally, think you're jealous because you might actually have feelings for me."

"You're grasping for loose ends, Charlie. I'm mad about the fact that the club is over and it's all your fault."

"I wouldn't have brought them tonight if you hadn't rejected me."

"What do you want me to do? Change the way I feel about you? Sorry, but that isn't possible, Charlie."

"No, I'm not asking you to change the way you feel about me, I'm asking you to be honest about the way you feel."

"I was honest."

"No, you weren't."

"Is it really that hard to believe that a girl might not be interested in you?"

"You wouldn't be reacting so weird towards me all day if you didn't have feelings for me that you felt bad for not admitting last night. And the girls being there wouldn't have pissed you off so much."

"For the love of God, Charlie, I can't like you!"

"Why the hell not?!"

"Because the only reason I'm even here is cause I need to stop Neil from killing himself!"

It was scary how quickly Charlie's expression changed from angry to shocked with that information. "What?" He whispered. 

Oh, fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW! Charlie finally knows! The next chapter will deal with the aftermath of everything that happened in this chapter, and hopefully it will be up soon. Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading and leaving comments on this story, seeing all the lovely comments that have been popping up lately has filled my heart with so much joy! Hope you liked this chapter!


	24. Phone Call From God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is basically the aftermath of everything that happened in the previous chapter: Charlie now knows about Ally's truth, he gets punished for the article he published, Knox tells everyone what happened at Chet's party, and then at the end of the chapter, Ally and Charlie share an emotional moment where a decision is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long so update, this is another really long chapter and I just couldn't figure out how to write it the way I wanted it to be, but here it is anyways. Hope you guys like it!

"Because the only reason I'm here is cause I need to stop Neil from killing himself!"

It was scary how quickly Charlie's face changed from angry to shocked with that information. "What?" He whispered. 

Oh, fuck.

"Neil's gonna kill himself?" Charlie exclaimed. 

I contemplated what to do in that moment for God knows how long, finally deciding that there was no point in lying to him anymore. So many different situations had run through my head when I first got sent here of what might happen if one of the boys found out the truth, but never had I imagined they would find out in the middle of an argument where I had said it because I needed to justify my reasons for not liking one of them. "Maybe you should sit down." I said, guiding Charlie to sit on my bed. He looked at me with a mixture of expectation, confusion and worry, and I knew if I didn't explain everything to him, he would kill himself worrying about it. 

"This is going to be hard to believe, but I promise you, I'm telling the truth." I started, grabbing Charlie's hand as a form of encouragement. "I'm not from... this time period. I'm actually from 2018. And I somehow time-traveled back in time to get here, and I think the reason why is because Neil needs saving."

Charlie scoffed. "You actually expect me to believe that?"

"I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. I was born in 2001, I attend Welton Academy in the future and am a member of the 2019 graduating class. I have an iPhone and a Macbook, I hadn't handwritten a note until I got here because in the future I type everything up, we do tests online too..."

"Okay." He interrupted. "Let's say you're telling me the truth and you really are from the future. How the hell do you even know who Neil is and how would you know that he killed himself?"

"I found his annual in the library with a couple friends. There was a memorial with his picture in it so I wanted to know what happened to him, long story short I found the future Todd who told me the entire story, right from the first day of school to the night of the play, where Neil went home with his dad and never came back to Welton because he shot himself in the head with his dad's gun. I went to the Indian Cave that night to see what it was, and when I touched the God of the Cave I got sent back here, and I think the only way I can get sent back is if I stop Neil from killing himself and set things right." Charlie was shaking his head in shock and muttering things underneath his breath that I couldn't make out. "Look, Charlie, I know this is a lot to take in right now and I doubt you believe me, but I swear to you that this is not something I would ever lie about."

Charlie sat for a couple minutes in silence, seemingly contemplating his options. "So… if you're not lying... Neil really kills himself? Wha-what happens after that?"

"You get expelled for punching Cameron in the face. Mr. Keating gets fired for causing Neil's death."

"What?!"

"Shhh." I said, anxiously looking to make sure Knox hadn't woken up with all the talking. "Apparently Neil's parents asked the school to do an in-depth investigation on what could have caused their son to kill himself, and the school automatically turned to Mr. Keating. Cameron finked about the club and everything Keating had told us to escape his own punishment, so you punched him." Charlie was still repeatedly shaking his head and muttering to himself, like he was in shock. "I know this is really surprising and probably hard to hear, Charlie, but you can't tell anyone about this, especially not Neil."

"What's even crazier is that it's really not as surprising as you may think." He chuckled bitterly. "You always acted a little bit above this time period, what with all the anti-smoking, feminism and you actively encouraged Neil and Todd to get together, which I can only assume is because of what future Todd told you."

I nodded. "Uh, yeah, he told me that he was in love with Neil, it's just that there was nobody to encourage him to pursue it, so he never did. I figured it was one thing I could set right while I was here."

He stood up and then and started pacing, rubbing his forehead with his hand. "So, what happens to each of us, in the future?"

"Todd goes on to become a poet. He never got married, because nobody could ever beat Neil in his eyes. Knox became a lawyer, got married to Chris and had three kids with her, Pitts and Meeks became engineers, Cameron became the new headmaster at Welton and..." I glanced at him nervously, but he only looked at me expectantly, "and you became a successful banker and are currently on your third marriage."

He nodded and continued pacing. "God, this is so fucking crazy but I actually believe it!" He paused, staring at me pointedly. "How were you planning on preventing Neil from killing himself?"

The question made me jump. I hadn't even begun to think about that part yet. "I-I hadn't thought that far ahead yet... I guess I'm kind of just taking things day by day."

"And why didn't you tell any of us about this? We could've helped you!"

"Because I didn't want you guys to worry about Neil and I knew you all probably wouldn't believe me anyways!"

"Okay." He continued pacing before stopping again. "What did you mean when you said that you can't like me because of this?"

I sighed, before standing up and facing him. "It's bad enough that I've become such good friends with you all, if I entered into a relationship with one of you, it would be impossible to leave."

"Leave?"

"I can't stay in 1959 forever, Charlie. I have to go back to my time at some point, I'm assuming after I save Neil."

"And how were you planning on going back?"

"I'm assuming all I would have to do is touch the God of the Cave again and it would send me back to my time."

Charlie paused. "So, do you actually like me?"

"Charlie..."

"Answer the damn question. Honestly this time."

I sadly took his hand and looked at him, dreading what I was about to say because I knew it would hurt him. "Charlie, I think I'm falling in love with you and that scares the crap out of me. But we can't be together because if I'm with you and I'm happy, I'm never going to be able to leave. Do you understand?"

He yanked his hand away and stared at me in shock. "God, you've been lying to us all ever since we met you, you know that? Is there anything that we know about you that's true?"

"Yes! My name is actually Ally Wharton, I'm actually at Welton because of my family. All of the conversations I've had with you guys about love and relationships have been real and genuine, the only thing I haven't been telling the truth about is what time I'm from. Charlie, I'm so freakin sorry for lying to you, but I had to do it. Please, please, don't hate me for this."

He shook his head in shock, but I could see the sadness in his face. "You might want to wake Knox up early, so his roommate doesn't realize he's missing." He said, gesturing to Knox. 

"You're leaving?" I asked, knowing that this conversation was nowhere near over.

"Yeah, uh, this has been a lot of information for one night and um, I'm kind of hoping I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and it's all going to be a dream. But if it isn't then I guess I'll see you in the morning." And with that, he was gone, leaving me alone in my room with an unconscious Knox. I stared sadly at the clock, realizing that it was almost 3 am and the morning bell would be ringing in just a couple hours. I didn't even bother changing out of my clothes before passing out on the bed, holding in the second burst of tears that was threatening to escape that night. After what felt like hours of silently letting the tears drip from my eyes, I slipped into a restless sleep, unsure now of what the future now could hold. 

...

I managed to wake up at 7:15, 45 minutes before breakfast would be served since it was a Saturday. I almost forgot about the boy sleeping in the bed beside mine until I rolled over and saw his sleeping form passed out among the mess of blankets and pillows on the opposite bed. I grudgingly got up and walked over to him, gently shaking him repeatedly until his eyes slowly opened. 

"Ally..." He sat up, wincing and grabbing his head. "Wha-what am I doing in your room? What the hell happened last night?"

"You came back from Chet's party extremely drunk and beaten up. The memories will come back to you eventually I'm sure. Charlie and I brought you in here and took care of you since it seemed like the best option at the time. There's some Advil and water on my desk for the headache that I'm sure you have and a bucket next to you in case you're going to puke." Knox grudgingly sat up, repeatedly wincing, and moved over to take the medicine. "You might want to head back to your room before your roommate wakes up." 

"Right." He replied, rubbing his temple. "Thanks, I guess, for taking care of me last night and letting me sleep here."

"No problem. Oh, and you have a pretty nasty black eye, so I would recommend borrowing some of my makeup later to cover it up."

"Jesus." He said, moving to look in my mirror and inspect his injuries. 

"Do you remember who did this to you?"

"It'll come to me eventually." He shrugged. "Uh, I'm gonna go try and get some more sleep. I'll see you at breakfast." And then he left, leaving me alone again. I knew it was unlikely I would be able to get back to sleep, my mind still reeling over everything that had happened the night before. Part of me hoped that Charlie would just think it was a dream or something, but I seriously doubted he would. I knew this was going to change everything that happened, and could only hope that Charlie wouldn't tell anyone else about it, or I was completely screwed. I sat on my bed and rubbed my temple, fully aware that Charlie now probably believed me to be a liar and a fake who he couldn't trust, let alone love, and any shot I ever had with him was probably gone. It was probably for the better anyways. I couldn't get closer to any of the boys, not when my departure was approaching the closer we got to the date of the play. 

God, how the hell was I supposed to save Neil? Charlie had asked me last night how I planned on doing it, but I genuinely had no answer. Neil wasn't going to like it one bit if I told him not to go to the play, but it's not like I could get into contact with his dad and tell him not to come either. 

I killed myself with these thoughts for the next 15 minutes or so, when I finally decided to change and head down to breakfast and hopefully not run into Charlie. I quickly changed and brushed my hair, throwing it into a messy bun, and didn't even bother with putting any makeup on, knowing it wouldn't even do anything. I looked like a zombie, but I couldn't care less. I reluctantly threw open the door to quietly sneak downstairs, where there was fruit and waffles being served already. I lazily scooped out some strawberries and poured myself a glass of water, not feeling particularly hungry this morning. 

"Hey." Todd said, sitting down across from me with Neil next to him. The two of them have practically been attached at the hip ever since the whole desk-set thing. "You don't look too happy this morning."

"I didn't exactly sleep great last night." I replied, trying to take a couple bites of strawberry but barely being able to swallow them with the nausea I was feeling. 

"How's Knox?" Neil asked. 

"Very, very hungover. He also has no idea what happened last night, but hopefully it will come back to him soon." 

"What do you guys think is going to happen to Charlie?" Todd asked. "His article is in today's paper, Nolan's going to read it." 

"There's a chance they're not gonna find out it's him." Neil replied. "My concern is that they're going to wonder what the Dead Poets Society is."

"God, are you guys still talking about that?" Charlie whined, sitting down next to me. I shot him a glance, but he didn't return it. Neil was glancing between the two of us suspiciously, but didn't say anything. "I told you last night that I was just going to lie about it." 

"Lie about what?" Knox said, sitting down next to Charlie and cringing when he saw the platters of food on the table in front of him. He had clearly used some of my makeup to cover up the black eye so it just looked like he hadn't slept good, and his nose still had a bruise on it as well that couldn't be covered up, but at least he looked better than he did last night. 

"Charlie published an article in the school paper demanding that girls be admitted to Welton under the name of the Dead Poets Society." Neil said, and Charlie glared at him. "And he told us this after he brought two townies to last nights meeting and renamed himself Nuwanda."

"What the hell?" Knox asked, turning to glare at his friend, who only shrugged. 

"So, that was our night, want to tell us what happened to you at Chet's party?"

"Do you even remember?" I asked. "You didn't this morning when I woke you up."

"I think it's starting to come back to me now. I, uh, think I drank a lot of whiskey with a couple of jocks. Then, I saw Chris asleep on the couch and I, uh, kind of kissed her and then Chet saw and beat me up."

"Jesus, Knox." Charlie winced. 

"What are you gonna do if people ask you about your face?" Neil asked. 

Knox shrugged. "Tell them I fell off my bike or something."

We managed to have a relatively uneventful breakfast after that, eventually being joined by Pitts, Meeks and Cameron (who wasn't even speaking to Charlie) and talked about anything but the meeting or the article or the party. In fact, we all seemed to to be willing to pretend that the night before hadn't even happened. Charlie and I shot each other glances occassionally, the night before still fresh in both of our brains, but refused to talk about it in front of everyone else.

"Attention, students!" We were interrupted by the booming voice of Headmaster Nolan, who was standing at the front of the room, and he looked furious. Oh no. "A very serious situation has presented itself to us and we are asking that all students and staff immediately proceed to the assembly hall." And with that, he walked away. We all quietly stood up, being the only table who knew what this was about. We all shot glares at Charlie before following the crowd to the assembly hall and taking our seats amidst the confusion and curiousity of everyone else. 

"So, did I dream what happened last night or are you really from 2018?" Charlie whispered in my ear, quiet enough so only I could hear. 

I glanced at him quickly before nodding. He looked like he was about to reply, but was interrupted by the group of teachers walking in, forcing us to rise. Nolan eventually took his place at the front of the room. "Sit." We all quietly sat down, and I wrung my hands nervously. 

"In this week of Welton's Honour there appeared a profance and unauthorized article. Rather than spend my valuable time ferreting out the guilty person - and let me assure you I will find them - I'm asking any and all students who know anything about this article to make themselves known here and now. Whoever the guilty persons are, this is your only chance to avoid expulsion from this school." 

Nobody was moving to stand up, but instead the sound of a phone ringing sounded throughout the assembly, and everyone looked around for the guilty culprit. After a couple rings, Charlie pulled a red phone out from under his chair and put the receiver to his ear. 

"What are you doing?" I hissed, but he ignored me. 

"Welton Academy. Hello. Yes, he is. Just a moment." Charlie said, standing up and holding the phone out. "Mr. Nolan, it's for you. It's God. He says we should have more girls at Welton." 

Oh dear God. I buried my face in my hands and silently screamed, and Neil pinched his nose in frustration. Every student was laughing except for the members of the Society, the people who could get punished for this, meanwhile, Nolan looked like he was about to explode. 

"Mr. Dalton, in my office, NOW! Everyone else, you are dismissed."

We all stood up and rushed out the room, and I took the opportunity to grab Charlie and yank him out of the hallway before he could make his way to Nolan's office. "What the hell happened to lying about it?" I hissed, holding his arm hard enough to make a bruise. 

"Relax." He replied, pulling his arm away. "It's not like I'm going to rat out any of you guys." And then he stalked off in the direction of Nolan's office, ignoring everyone who tried to talk to him along the way. 

"He's gonna get expelled." I said to Neil, who had approached me. "There's no way Nolan is going to let him get away with this."

"I know." Neil shook his head. "C'mon, let's go wait for him upstairs."

A small group of us trudged upstairs and waited in the hallway for Charlie to reappear. I was nervously wringing my hands and pacing as I stood next to Neil and Todd, who were anxiously waiting outside Charlie's door. 

"What do you think Nolan's gonna do?" I asked. 

"Well, if he doesn't expel him on the spot, Charlie's gonna get the paddle for sure."

"The paddle?" I asked, horrified. I had forgotten that was still allowed here.

"Yup. It's not like it would be the first time he's gotten it." Neil hesitated for a second before continuing. "Look Ally, I heard you and Charlie arguing last night."

"You did?" If he heard exactly what we said, I was done for.

"Yeah. I couldn't make out what you guys were saying, but I could hear you yelling and, I guess I just wanted to let you know that if you want someone to talk to during this whole situation, you're welcome to come talk to me whenever you want."

Oh, thank God. "Thanks, Neil. I appreciate it but, I think this argument needs to remain between Charlie and I for now."

"I understand. I just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need me."

"Thanks." I gave him a small smile that probably wasn't very convincing.

We stood in silence for a couple more minutes before there was a rush of movement at the end of the hallway, signalling that Charlie was coming. My heart broke when he turned the corner, having never seen the usually strong boy in a state like this before. His face was tear stained and red, and he was walking stiffly, wincing everytime he moved. There was silence as he walked down the hallway to get to his room. 

"You kicked out?" Neil asked when Charlie walked by us.

"No." Charlie's voice cracked when he spoke, signalling the amount of pain he was in.

"So what happened?" 

"I'm to turn everybody in, apologize to the school and all will be forgiven."

"So, what are you gonna do?" Charlie didn't respond, instead moving to enter his room. "Charlie!"

"Damn it, Neil." Charlie turned around and smirked. "The name is Nuwanda." He then shut his door, and I could see Neil smiling, reassured that his friend hadn't been hurt enough to damage his sense of humour. 

"Shouldn't someone go check on him?" I asked. "He's clearly in a lot of pain."

"Trust me, Ally, he wants to be left alone right now after that. Besides, it doesn't look like Nolan's broken him yet after that response."

Everybody else moved back to their respective rooms in silence, seemingly no longer concerned about their friend. I was left alone in the hallway, deciding whether or not to go check on Charlie or leave it be, but eventually I made up my mind and entered my room, collapsing on the bed in despair. 

...

Hours later, Charlie had showered and changed and finally left his room, and we were all now gathered around him in study hall to hear the story of what happened with Nolan. Charlie, despite his pain, was being his typical self, dramatically retelling the story with his bongos on his lap and a cigarette in his hand. I still hadn't gotten the chance to talk to him privately, but hopefully that would come about soon enough.

"Creak. He started walking around towards my left. Creak. Creak. 'Assume the position, Mr. Dalton.'"

The door opened then and Mr. Keating walked in. We all frantically stood up from out seats to greet him, and Charlie quickly passed his cigarette to someone else to hide. 

"It's all right, students." Mr. Keating said, a somber look on his face.

"Mr. Keating." Charlie greeted with a smile.

"Mr. Dalton. That was a pretty lame stunt you pulled today."

Charlie looked completely betrayed by Keating's accusation, like he had just been accused of murder or something. "You're siding with Mr. Nolan? What about Carpe Diem and sucking all the marrow out of life and all that?"

"Sucking the marrow out of life doesn't mean choking on the bone. Sure there's a time for daring and there's a time for caution, and a wise man understands which is called for."

"But I thought you'd like that."

"No. You being expelled from school is not daring to me. It's stupid, cause you'll miss some golden opportunities."

"Yeah. Like what?"

"Like, if nothing else, the opportunity to attend my classes." We all quietly chucked, including Charlie. "Got it, Ace?"

Charlie smirked. "Aye, aye, Captain."

"Keep your head about you. That goes for the lot of you."

We all responded with various versions of 'Yes, Captain' or 'Aye, aye', but it was clear to him that the message was received. 

"Phone call from God." Mr. Keating finished as he left the room. "If it had been collect, it would've been daring."

We all chucked at the joke and gathered around Charlie once more, allowing him to finish telling his dramatic story. I'll admit I wasn't paying 100% attention, more concerned about the fact that Charlie and I still hadn't really talked about what happened last night or where we stood now that it was obvious the both of us had feelings for each other but couldn't act on it. Once Charlie had dramatically finished, the boys applauded and chatted for a couple more minutes before all drifting out one by one, until it was just Charlie and I left. I moved to leave next, but Charlie's voice stopped me. 

"I know I fucked up." I turned around to see the sad face of the boy. "I only brought the girls last night to make you jealous because I was hurt that you rejected me. Same reason I wrote that paper. The prank call from God had nothing to do with you, that was just my way of humiliating Nolan. But I had no right to act out and do those things because I should've known that you can't control how you feel. And I definitely had no right to get mad at you for lying to me about your... time-traveling because you were only trying to protect all of us. I've been a huge ass, Ally, and I'm so sorry for it."

"No. You had a right to get angry at me last night, Charlie." I said, moving to sit on the armrest of the chair he was sitting in. "Look, if I thought there was any way I could do this without lying to you guys, I would've done it. But I didn't think I had a choice."

"I still wish you would've told me sooner. I could've been helping you this entire time."

"I didn't want to scare you or drag anyone else into the mess I've gotten myself into."

Charlie shook his head. "He's my best friend, basically my brother. I can't lose him, Ally."

I comfortingly placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder, knowing that him and I were in at least a better place now than we were last night. "I know. Which is why I'm going to do everything and anything I can think of to stop him from dying."

"You mean we?"

"What?"

"Now that I know about all of this, I'm helping you. And nothing you say or do is going to stop me, so you may as well not even bother."

I smiled. "Okay, Charlie." And then we continued to sit there in silence for a couple more minutes, my hand unconsciously rubbing circles on his shoulder as I thought about the situation I was now in. Having Charlie help me probably wasn't going to be that bad, and at least now I had someone I could talk to about the whole thing...

"One other thing." Charlie interrupted, placing his hand over mine. "I don't think that I can stop liking you."

"Charlie..."

"And now that I know that you like me too, it's going to make this even harder. But I understand why we can't be together, if that's what you really want." He gave me a reassuring smile, but I could see that it was just a mask to hide the pain he was in. "It sucks, but if it makes things easier for you, than I'll ignore it."

"Thank you, Charlie." I said, returning the smile softly. I really did still love him, and it hurt me as well to know that despite our feelings we couldn't be together. I got up to finally leave, deciding my heart couldn't take any more emotion today, when I made an impulsive decision. Before I stood up, I bent down and cupped Charlie's face in my hands, gently pressing my lips to his in a soft embrace. He gently pushed his lips to mine in return, allowing the kiss to last for a couple seconds before I pulled away. I stared him sadly in the eyes for a couple more seconds before muttering, "I just wanted to know what it felt like", and walking away. 

I barely made it to my room before the tears that I had been trying to hold back for so long now came falling out for the love that I was leaving behind here and for the happiness that I could be experiencing but wasn't, because the only thing that I could be focusing on right now had to be stopping my friend from dying. So, I laid on my bed and wailed for the rest of the night, not caring who heard me or what the repercussions could be, only caring about the pain I was currently in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! The next one will hopefully be up soon, but it's more than likely going to be another long one so we'll see what happens. A lot is starting to happen in this story, so I'm trying to make every chapter as perfect as I can make it and it's taking me a lot longer than I expected! Keep leaving comments and kudos, love you guys, and I'll update soon!


	25. Here Comes Oberon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ally and Todd are both worried about the upcoming play and what could happen if Neil's dad were to find out about it, and then their worst fears are realized when Neil's dad appears in his room with bad news...

The rest of the week was a series of repetitive events that I don't think I need to recap, but here's the jest of what happened anyways: I went to classes everyday, had awkward conversations with Charlie and stressed about the ever approaching date of the play. The kiss hadn't been mentioned again, with both of us understanding that it was more a wish of what we could have had than a reality for our relationship, and neither of us wanted to get our hopes up that it would be anything more than what it was. So now here the story continues, the day before the play, and I was woken up from an after -class nap by an incessant knocking at my door. I groggily left the comforts of my warm bed and opened it up to see a wide-awake Neil Perry standing there, and right behind him a happy-looking Todd Anderson. They were both dressed in their day clothes with Welton coats overtop, and Neil had his script in his hand. 

"Hey Ally!" Neil cheerfully greeted. "I have a long practice today, and I was just wondering if you and Todd wanted to accompany me. I've been trying to convince Todd to come for weeks now I know you've been stressed out lately and this could give you a nice break from the school."

I shot a glance at Todd, who just shrugged. "Let me get dressed and we can go." 

I moved over to my dresser to get changed, consciously touching my lips every once in a while as I thought about the kiss Charlie and I had shared just a couple nights before. I have to admit, it was the best kiss I had ever had, even if it only lasted a couple of seconds. It was on my mind the entire time I got dressed and brushed out my blonde waves, braiding a few strands to form a headband, and even when I put on a bit more makeup than usual I was still thinking about it. When I finally stepped out of my room, Todd and Neil were impatiently waiting there for me, Neil practicing his lines under his breath. 

"Great! God, I thought you'd never be ready." Neil exclaimed, starting to charge down the hallway. "C'mon, let's go!"

Todd and I chuckled as we started to walk down the hallway, not even bothering to keep up with Neil. "I really don't know why he's rushing so much." Todd started. "They're not going to start without him, he's the lead."

"He's excited." I replied. "Leave him be."

"I don't even know why he goes to rehearsal anymore! He has his lines memorized, forwards and backwards."

I laughed. "At least you know he's going to be amazing opening night."

We had reached the front entrance at that point, where Neil was practically jumping with excitement after waiting for us for what probably felt like forever to him. He ran outside and hopped on his bike, and Todd followed.

"Ally!" Neil called. "Hop on the back of my bike and hold on tight!"

I ran over and gleefully jumped on the back of the seat, wrapping my arms tightly around Neil's waist. He sped away as soon as I was on, Todd following quickly behind us on his own bike. Neil screamed out into the cold air, his breath making a cloud, his joy evident in every movement he made. I laughed and looked behind me at Todd, who screamed in return as he biked. As much as I loved Charlie and wished I could be with him, no one brought me more joy than these two when they were together. Todd had started off as such a shy boy who was incapable of conversing with anyone, and now he was screaming into the wind and writing poetry. And then there was Neil, constantly restrained by the pressure of his dad, but now because of the play and his love with Todd, he was happier than he'd probably ever been before. The love they shared was evident, and their joy was contagious. It was nice to be around this right now instead of dealing with the woes that came with being around Charlie at the moment. 

We finally reached the large brick building that must be Henley Hall, and Neil wasted no time in jumping off the bike and running inside. Todd and I joyously followed him into the large theatre, and as soon as I walked into the entrance my breath was taken away from me. This wasn't your typical high school stage, this looked straight off of a Broadway set, with rows and rows of velvet seats and a large stage lit up by spotlights. The ceiling was domed to provide the perfect sound quality, and the architecture of the whole thing was stunning. 

"Neil..." I started, gazing around me, "this is beautiful."

He smiled and gazed around the theatre that he'd probably seen over a hundred times now, wonder and happiness shining alight in his brown eyes. "I know. It's amazing." 

"Neil!" A blonde-haired woman who looked to be in her forties called out, walking towards us. "Finally, you're here! Who are your friends?"

"Oh, this is Todd Anderson and Ally Wharton. They wanted to come watch. I hope that's alright?"

"Of course, as long as they promise to be quiet." We both nodded as affirmation that we would keep the noise level down, and the teacher smiled in return. "Good. Now, come on, Neil, hurry up! Ww can't do this scene without our Puck." 

The teacher walked away then and Neil smiled before quickly following her towards the stage. Todd and I took seats next to each other in the back row where the shadows did an effective job of hiding us so we could watch Neil rehearse in peace. Once he was onstage, Neil grabbed a stick with a jester's head on it from a prop girl and began to recite, "Yet but three? Come one more; two of both kinds makes up four. Here she comes, curst and sad, Cupid is a knavish lad, thus to make poor females mad." Neil looked down then at a wild-looking Hermia crawling onto the stage, exhausted and wild-eyed. 

The teacher stopped Hermia before she could recite her lines and turned to Neil. "Good, Neil. I really get the feeling your Puck knows he's in charge. Remember that he takes great delight in what he's doing." 

Neil nodded and repeated his lines, firmer and more bold now. "Cupid is a knavish lad, thus to make poor females mad!"

"Excellent." The teacher praised with a smile. "Continue, Ginny."

Hermia, or Ginny, crawled back onto the stage and began to recite her lines. "Never so weary, never so in woe, bedabbled with the dew, and torn with briers, I can no further crawl.."

Todd and I continued to watch the scene unfold with smiles on our faces, and when I looked over at Todd I noticed that he was reciting the lines under his breath. 

"Either you know this play really well or Neil has been practicing his lines around you a bit too often?" I whispered, nudging Todd with my arm. He blushed in response.

"A bit of both, probably. I've become Neil's resident partner for practicing lines, and he stays up late every night when he thinks I'm asleep to practice some more. I just hope it all pays off in the end."

"He's good, Todd." I reassured. "Really, really good. And he knows this play and this character better than anyone, he's been working so hard. He's going to kill it opening night."

"That's not really what I'm worried about." Todd said, his smile fading. "He's gone a really long time now without his dad finding out, I just feel like it's too good to be true. If his dad finds out that he's been in a play for this long now..."

"Don't stress yourself out over that, Todd." I replied, even though it was stressing me out more than anyone else. "I doubt Neil's dad is going to find out about the play now if he hasn't already. Maybe this is something that he can actually get away with."

Todd shook his head. "I appreciate your attempts at being reassuring, but don't tell me this doesn't seem a little too good to be true. His dad's bound to find out eventually, and when he does, it isn't going to be pretty."

Oh, Todd, you had no idea. "The play is tomorrow night. That doesn't exactly give him a ton of time to figure out what's going on."

"I just have a feeling something is going to go wrong soon." Todd smiled sheepishly at me. "Call me crazy if you want, or tell me it's just my lovestruck heart that's making me worry, but something's going to happen soon. I just know it."

I didn't have the heart to argue with Todd about that because I knew it was true. At some point Neil's dad was bound to discover the truth, whether it be today or tomorrow, and there wasn't much any of us could do to prevent it. But I tried to erase those thoughts from my head and focus on watching the talented Neil rehearse his scenes with gusto and energy, delightfully enchanting everyone when he wanted and then making everyone sad when they needed to be. There was no denying he was an extremely talented actor who could easily make it if he wanted to, which only made the situation ten times worse. 

After hours of watching Neil practice and talking to Todd, rehearsal was finally over and the three of us hopped on our bikes to make the short ride back to the school, where it was more than likely time for dinner. Sure enough, when we made our way up the stairs a crowd of boys was running past us to make their way to the cafeteria, screaming and shouting as they did so. 

"Save some for us!" Neil exclaimed, pushing his way through the crowd to get to his room. Todd and I pushed our way through behind him, laughing at the boys antics as we did so. "But room, fairy! Here comes Oberon." 

Neil's happy demeanor quickly changed as soon as he stepped in to his doorway, the smile wiping off of his face and his eyes filling with panic. Todd and I glanced at each other in fear before Todd quickly peeked his way into the room and then quickly jumped back and shot me a look of alarm. 

"Father." Neil said, his voice cracking in fear. Oh, shit. 

I grabbed Todd's arm and quickly dragged him away before he could do or say anything else, leaving Neil alone with his dad. I pulled Todd into a seperate hallway where no one could hear us, allowing Todd to jump in to full-on panic mode. 

"Shit. I knew this was going to happen, his dad found out! His dad knows and Neil is screwed and oh shit, oh shit. Ally, what are we going to do?"

"Don't panic." I said, even though I was on the verge of doing the exact same thing. "The other boys are down in the lunch hall, we may as well go eat and tell them what's going on."

"They can't do any more than we can!"

"I know that, Todd. But they've known Neil a lot longer than we have and they might at least know how he usually reacts after talking to his dad and how to deal with it."

Todd seemed unsure, but nodded anyways. We reluctantly made our way down to the lunch hall, where the boys were all laughing and joking, and for some reason were all eating their spaghetti with their left hands. 

"Hey, where've you guys been?" Charlie asked as we approached. "We're trying an experiment to see if any of us can eat with our left hands, you guys should try it. Trust me, it's harder than it looks."

"Neil's dad is here." I interrupted, and the joking mood of the boys immediately faded, looks of concern plaguing all of their faces. Charlie especially looked terrified, probably remembering what I had told him over a week ago about how Neil died after going home with his dad. "Todd and I went to rehearsal with Neil for the day, and then when we got back, Neil's dad was waiting for him in his room. Neil's talking to him right now."

"Shit." Charlie said. "Do you think he found out about the play?"

"Well, why else would he be here?" Cameron exclaimed. "He's not the type of father who drops in for friendly visits whenever he wants to. The only reason he ever comes here is because he's pissed at something Neil did."

"What do you think he's going to do?" Meeks asked. 

"Probably try and make Neil quit the play." Pitts replied, his mouth still full with spaghetti.

"He can't quit though, the play is tomorrow night!" I exclaimed. 

"Mr. Perry won't care." Charlie deadpanned, staring at me with concern. "He's going to try and make Neil quit the play whether Neil wants to or not."

"There's no way in hell Neil is going to quit though." Knox said. "He's been having the best time of his life doing this play."

"I know that." Charlie said. 

"Can we try and make him?" I asked, raising my eyebrows as a way of communicating with Charlie about the thing only we knew about. 

"He'll hate you for it if you try." Todd said, shooting me a sad glance. 

"We have to do something!" I exclaimed. "We can't let Neil just do the play, if his dad finds out he disobeyed him..."

Charlie shot me a concerned glance. "I know. He'll more than likely be sent off to military school or something." Or he'll die. "But there isn't anything that we can do about it, Ally. There's no point in trying to convince Neil to listen to his dad and quit because it will just make him want to do the play more. All we can do is support him in whatever decision he makes and be there for him when the consequences happen, because they will." 

All the other boys agreed, but Charlie passed me a napkin when they weren't paying attention that read in his messy printing, 'We'll talk later.' He knew just as well as I did what would happen if Neil didn't quit that play, and that we couldn't let it. We couldn't lose our friend. 

After a couple more minutes of us all silently picking at our spaghetti, Neil walked over to the table, looking solemn and upset. 

"You okay?" Charlie asked.

"Visit from my father." Neil muttered. 

"Do you have to quit the play?" Todd asked, grabbing Neil's hand under the table.

"He told me to." Neil replied. "But I don't know if I want to."

"Why don't you talk to Mr. Keating about it?" I suggested, having no better options.

"What good will that do?" Neil asked glumly.

Charlie shrugged. "Maybe he'll have some advice. Maybe he'll even talk to your father."

"Are you kidding?" Neil chucked bitterly. "Don't be ridiculous."

In spite of his objections, we continued to insist that Mr. Keating might be able to help Neil with his problems until he finally gave in. After dinner, we all made our way up to the teacher's quarters and Charlie knocked on Mr. Keating's door. 

"This is stupid." Neil insisted. 

"It's better than doing nothing." Charlie argued, knocking again when there was no answer. 

"He's not here. Let's just go." Neil begged. 

Charlie gave up on knocking and tried the door knob, which opened with a click. "Let's wait for him." 

"Charlie! Nuwanda!" I exclaimed as he walked into Mr. Keating's small quarters. "Get out of there!"

But Charlie didn't listen, and eventually the rest of us gave in to curiosity and entered Keating's room, which was empty and lonely looking. 

"Nuwanda," Pitts insisted, "we shouldn't be in here!"

Charlie ignored him and continued to look around the room. A small blue suitcase stood on the floor by the door and a few books sat on the bed, some of them tattered and ripped. Charlie walked over to the desk and picked up a framed photo of a girl who looked to be in her twenties. "Whoa, look at her!" Lying next to the picture was a half-written letter, which he didn't hesitate to pick up and read aloud. "My darling Jessica. It's so lonely at times without you... blah blah. All I can do to put myself at ease is study your beautiful picture or close my eyes and imagine your radiant smile - but my poor imagination is a poor substitute for you. Oh, how I miss you and wish-"

Charlie was interrupted by the door creaking open, and Mr. Keating himself stepped in. The rest of us awkwardly shuffled so we were standing in the centre of the room and not touching anything, but Charlie was unfazed and smiled. "Hello, Mr. Keating! Good to see you."

Mr. Keating walked over to him and calmly took the letter, folded it, and put it in his pocket. "A woman is a cathedral, Mr. Dalton. Worship one at every chance you get." He took a seat at his desk, unfazed by the group of us invading his space. "Anything else you'd care to rifle through, Mr. Dalton?"

"I'm sorry." Charlie apologized. "I, we..." He looked around for help from the rest of us.

"Captain," I started, stepping forward, "we came here to talk to you about something."

"All of you?"

"Actually, I'd like to talk to you alone." Neil said, stepping forward with a sad face. The rest of us got the message and all moved to leave, wanting to give Neil and Mr. Keating their space. "Todd..." Neil began to plea when Todd started walking away with the rest of us. Todd hesitated for a split second before leaning forward and capturing Neil's lips with his own, surprising us all. Now, we weren't surprised because we didn't know about the two of them, we were surprised because up until this point, PDA was something they both actively tried to avoid, not wanting to get caught, but right now Neil's desire for some form of comfort seemed to overshadow all of that. Even Mr. Keating had a small smile on his face at the love the two shared, being probably his two favourite students. 

"Everything's going to be okay, Neil." Todd whispered when he pulled away. "I'll be waiting for you in our room. I love you."

"I love you too." Neil murmured, and then we all left the room, leaving him alone with Mr. Keating. 

Todd was furiously blushing and refused to talk to us after what we witnessed, instead choosing to hide in his room and wait for Neil. Everyone else dispersed into their own individual rooms, leaving Charlie and I alone in the hallway. 

"What did you want to talk about?" I asked, gesturing to enter my room so that no one could eavesdrop if they wanted to. 

"What happens if you can't save him?" Charlie asked, sitting on my bed like he had done so many times before. "At dinner it was obvious neither of us have a set plan on how to do this. If you can't save him and Neil dies, what are you going to do?"

"I haven't even begun to think about that, Charlie." I said, sitting down next to him. "It's not like I could just stay here. I mean, I would still have to go back at some point."

Charlie shook his head. "God, this is terrifying. He could die tomorrow night and we don't even have the beginnings of a plan to help him." Charlie shook his head at the ground and sighed. "He can't die, Ally. Too many people love him and he's too good of a guy to die that way."

"I know. We're gonna figure this out, Charlie. You're not going to lose your best friend."

Charlie looked unconvinced, but he nodded anyways. "He's not going to go easily, that's for sure. I will put up a fight for him."

I smiled. "I know you will, Nuwanda."

We sat in silence for a couple more seconds, before Charlie cleared his throat and moved to stand up. "Well, I should head to my room. I don't want to get in even more trouble for being in here."

"Right." I said, moving up to walk him to the doorway. We stood facing each other for a few awkward seconds at the door, and it looked like he was leaning in, until we finally parted with a slight shake of the head. "Night." I lamely said, raising my hand in a lazy goodbye. 

"Yeah." Charlie replied, raising his hand and walking to his room in silence. 

...

It was a little over an hour later before I heard another knock on my door, this one timid and quiet. I opened the door to see a flustered Todd standing there. 

"Hey, Todd. What's going on?"

"Uh, would it be alright if Neil borrowed your bathroom for a little bit?"

"Uh, yeah, sure. Can I ask why?"

Todd looked down nervously. "I think his dad really scared him. He was crying when he came back from Mr. Keating's office, so instead of pushing it, I tried to just help him relax and get some sleep so he's not exhausted tomorrow for the play. He managed to calm down for a little bit, but he got really stressed out all of a sudden when he was reviewing his lines and threw up. I don't mind emptying our trash can or taking care of him, but I think he'd prefer a private bathroom right now. That way he can shower and relax without a crowd of people around him to stress him out more."

I smiled. "Sure, Todd. He can use my bathroom as much as he wants, and you can too. Just try not to make a mess."

Todd breathed out a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thanks, Ally." He moved to walk away, but a thought must have occurred to him so he turned around and walked back over to me. "This is bad, right? I'm not over exaggerating, am I?"

I sighed. "As much as I hate to say it, this is bad. Is Neil still doing the play?"

Todd nodded nervously. "I'm pretty sure. Mr. Keating told him to talk to his father, but I seriously doubt Neil's going to do that. So, he 's going to go through with the play tomorrow night. He told me that his dad is on a business trip tomorrow night so it should be fine, but that does nothing to ease my worries."

"How did his dad even find out in the first place?"

"Apparently a family friend's daughter is in the play with Neil and told her mom, who told Neil's dad."

I shook my head in despair. "That really sucks, Todd."

"Yeah, I know." He looked at the ground and shook his head. "He better be really amazing tomorrow night or he'll hear it from me after the stress we've both had to deal with." I chuckled nervously. "Alright, I should get back to him before he starts freaking out again. Thanks again for letting us borrow your bathroom."

"Take care of him, Todd." I said, giving the boy a reassuring smile and ignoring his use of the word 'us', figuring after the day him and Neil have had that they deserved to be left alone for a bit. I closed the door behind Todd as he left, leaning against my door in frustration. If I couldn't come up with something soon, there was a very good chance that Neil was going to die tomorrow night, and everything that I had done since coming here was a waste of my time. I went to bed once again that night with dark thoughts like these plaguing my brain, both fearing and excited for the day to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you should be studying but writing fanfiction is way more fun...  
> Hope you guys enjoyed reading this chapter, the next one is going to be really dramatic (time for the play!) so hopefully I can get that up soon. Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story, and I'm glad you all seem to be liking it!


	26. Give Me Your Hands If We Be Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the day of the play, and everyone is filled with emotion. Neil is excited for his opening night, Todd is terrified something will go wrong, Knox is anxious to go and visit Chris, and Charlie and Ally are trying to be optimistic, but are being dragged down by the knowledge of what might happen that night. This is probably one of the most eventful chapters so far, with a very emotional and shocking ending, so have your tissues ready...

I woke up Friday morning, the day of the play, to absolute chaos. All the boys were filled with emotion for the day that was to come. Neil was practically shaking with excitement and anticipation of his opening night, Todd looked both excited to see his love perform and also terrified that something was going to go wrong, Charlie and I were both faking the persona of being thrilled for Neil, but in reality we both knew what could happen tonight, and it was dragging us both down. Knox looked thrilled at breakfast, but it turns out his reason had nothing to do with the play. 

"What do you mean you're going to Ridgeway?" I exclaimed, almost spitting out my juice.

"I'm going to apologize to Chris for what I did at the party." He explained. "I'm going to give her flowers and read a poem that I wrote for her, and hopefully she'll forgive me." He continued, holding up said objects proudly. 

"Knox," I argued, "what if you run into Chet? He kicked your ass the last time you saw him, he'll kill you if he sees you again."

"Oh, just let him do it." Charlie said. "You know he's going to anyways. If he makes a fool of himself, he makes a fool of himself. If Chet kills him, we'll deal with it." 

"Thank you, Nuwanda." Knox said proudly, giving me a smirk. "I should be back around lunch time. If I'm not, cover for me."

And then he ran off in the direction of the doorways, leaving us shaking our heads and smirking after him.

"We all know he's going to die, right?" Meeks asked, to which we all replied with a chorus of yup's and yes'. 

"I can't believe he didn't learn his lesson after the party." Pitts replied. 

I shook my head in annoyance. "Whatever. Look, after today, Chris is probably going to hate him and never want to speak to him again, so hopefully he'll just forget about her." I turned to Neil then, wanting nothing more than to change the subject. "Are you excited for the play, Neil?"

He nodded, a smile spreading wide on his face. "I feel like my entire life has been leading to this moment. I just hope it goes well."

"You're gonna do amazing, Neil." Todd encouraged, giving his boyfriend an affectionate shoulder rub. 

Charlie and I shared a quick glance at the mention of the play, both of us having full knowledge that we still had no plan in place in case Neil's dad showed up tonight. It seemed right now like we were just going to deal with everything as it happened, having no other option. I knew Charlie was terrified he was going to lose his best friend tonight, and to be honest I was too, but there didn't seem like anything we could do about it at the moment. 

The rest of the day continued on, with Knox showing up at lunch like he promised with a piece of toast stolen from the kitchen. He wasn't showing any signs of injury, which was good, but what was unusual was that he didn't look disappointed in the slightest. 

"Hey, how'd it go?" Charlie asked. "Did you read it to her?"

"Yeah." Knox casually replied. Everyone started freaking out at this, but Charlie shushed them to avoid suspicion from teachers. 

"What'd she say?" Pitts asked. 

"Nothing."

"Nothing. What do you mean, nothing?" Charlie exclaimed. 

"Nothing." Knox shrugged, but he was still smiling. "But I did it." Knox started to walk away in the direction of English then, but there was no escaping the crowd that was chasing after him. 

"What did she say?" Charlie exclaimed as we entered the classroom. "I know she had to say something!"

We continued with the excitement for a couple more minutes until the bell rang, to which we turned our undying attention to our captain. He had us do one of his most unusual lessons so far that day, for the reason that he barely even talked. He had us place blindfolds over our eyes and shut the lights off before turning on a record player and having us listen to classical music for the entire class. We all listened, entranced by the beautiful sounds, some of us probably napping silently under the confines of our black blindfolds, but overall it was a nice relaxer for what was probably shaping up to be an insane day. The bell rang after a while, breaking the trance we had all been put under. Mr. Keating began speaking, but didn't turn off the music. 

"Words can never contain what this music does; it's unsayable grace, it cannot be defined, it leaps like life and minds. That's it for today." And then we all removed our blindfolds and lazily stood up to leave the room, but I couldn't help but notice that Neil was still sitting there with his blindfold on, seemingly deep in thought. Mr. Keating smiled and moved over to talk to him, and Todd looked like he wanted to wait, but I wouldn't let him, dragging him out by the arm so that Neil and Mr. Keating could talk in private. 

"You should try and get some homework done before the play, Todd." I said, walking with him in the direction of the rooms. "And then you can eat dinner and shower and get ready, and then we can all go and enjoy the play."

"Neil needs to leave to get ready really soon." Todd argued. "God, I've never been more terrified in my life."

"Not even when you had to create a poem in the front of the class?"

"At least then my eyes were covered. And this is even scarier because it's not me, it's the person I love, and he's been working so, so hard for this. I want, no, I need this to go well for him."

"Todd, you need to relax." I said. "Neil is going to come back from talking to Mr. Keating any minute now and I'm sure the last thing he wants to see is you stressing out over him. So, get in your room and start doing homework and pretend that you're completely fine. Then, he's going to get ready and you can give him a kiss goodbye, and then in a couple of hours you're going to see him on that stage playing a mischievous fairy that controls everybody's lives."

Todd smiled and nervously nodded. "Okay. Okay, I can be calm. I can kiss him goodbye. I can do that. Can I do that?"

"Yes, you can." I replied, lightly pushing him in the direction of his room. He gave me one last nervous smile before allowing me to enter my room and begin doing my own little bit of homework so I could try and think of anything that wasn't the play. Of course I couldn't get anything done though, because in just a couple of minutes there was another knock on my door. Charlie didn't even wait for me to fully open the door before he burst into the room and started pacing. I gently closed the door behind him and waited for the explosion. 

"Neil's getting ready to leave right now. In case you missed it, we still don't have a plan."

"I know, Charlie, but..."

"So, we're just going to let him die?!"

"No, we are not going to let him die. We're going to go wish him luck, and then we are going to watch the play, and then if his dad shows up we're going to figure it out, but Charlie you need to stop stressing out about this because your stress is just going to make Neil stress." I buried my face in my hands and forced Charlie to sit down on the bed so I didn't have to watch him pace anymore. "Look, I'm terrified too, Charlie. But there's nothing we can do right now so we have to pretend that nothing is wrong, for Neil's sake. God, your entire group is driving me nuts today! Knox going to Ridgeway and almost getting himself killed by Chet Danburry, Todd panicking that Neil is going to be bad, you coming in here and yelling at me for not having a plan... look, I love helping you guys, but all I want to do right now is go wish my friend good luck and then go get a nice, long shower and relax and then go and enjoy this amazing play. I want to step worrying have one night of fun and not caring and pretending that everything is okay just for once, because I haven't done that since I've been here. So, can I please do that without one of you desperately needing me and making me have a heart attack?"

Charlie was silent for a couple of minutes before he finally stood up and wrapped me in a gentle embrace, letting me bury my face into his shoulder and just stand there in his arms for a couple of minutes. We stood there in silence, Charlie pressing his lips to my head, before there was a timid knock on the door. I wiped my face and stepped away from Charlie with a small smile before answering the door, where Neil was waiting with a smile, which only widened when he noticed Charlie standing there with me. 

"I'm heading out now, the cast has to be there an hour earlier than everyone else to get ready."

I gave Neil a quick hug and peck on the cheek. "You're gonna be amazing, Puck."

Charlie wrapped Neil in his own hug, patting his friend on the back. "We'll see you in a couple hours."

"Thanks, guys." Neil stepped away with a giddy smile. 

"Now, don't tell him I told you this, but Todd is absolutely terrified." I started. "So, go give him a goodbye hug and kiss so he calms down a little bit before you leave."

Neil nodded and then ran off to go give his lover a proper goodbye, and Charlie and I were left alone again. 

"Look, I'm sorry for freaking you out. You're right, you deserve tonight to relax and stop caring. So, go get that shower, and the rest of us will be waiting for you downstairs when you're done." Charlie awkwardly said, waving in the direction of my bathroom. 

"Okay. Uh, thank you for that. I needed it."

"I'll always be there for you, Ally." Charlie said with a shy, but genuine smile. "You should know that by now."

"I do." I said with a small nod, and then we were staring into each others eyes again and I really wanted to kiss him, but the moment was broken when he cleared his throat and awkwardly walked away. I tried to shake all thoughts from my head and get to my bathroom in peace so I could get a shower, and once I finally got in there, I savoured every second of the warm water dripping over me and took my time washing all the oil and grime from my hair and washing my skin until I had wrinkles all over me from being under the water for so long. Once the water started to turn cold though, I had to step out and wrap myself into the fluffiest towel I could possibly find. I continued taking my time after that, blow-drying my hair and straightening it, putting on more makeup than usual but not so much that I didn't look like myself, putting on one of my nicest dresses (and a coat because it was freezing outside), and then spritzing myself with perfume as a final touch. By the time I was completely done getting ready, it was like all of the stress had left my body, and it shocked me to see that we had to leave in a couple minutes if we wanted to make it in time to see the curtain rise. 

I could hear a commotion coming from the boy's communal showers when I exited my door, and waited outside for them all to leave. After a couple minutes though, I began to feel impatient. 

"Guys, c'mon, we have to leave soon!"

"Ally, is that you?" Pitts called. 

"Are there any other girls in this school?"

"We'll only be a couple more minutes!" Cameron called. 

"What's taking you so long?"

"Nuwanda said something about having to 'get red'!" Todd answered. "We're waiting on him!"

"What does that even mean?"

"Well, you know Charlie!" Pitts replied. 

I heard a stall door banging open then, and could only assume it was Charlie. 

"So, Charlie, what's this 'getting red' bit?" Cameron asked. 

There was a second of silence before all of the boys burst into laughter. 

"Oh my god, Ally, you have to get in here!" Pitts exclaimed in between barks of laughter. 

I rolled my eyes. "The administration won't even let me in your rooms, I doubt they'd approve of me being in the place where you all shower. I'm getting bored, I'll wait for you all in the foyer."

I began to walk away when I noticed a beautiful girl with short blonde hair standing in the doorway, looking around as if she was expecting someone. 

"Can I help you?" I asked, approaching her.

"Do you know where Knox Overstreet is?" She asked. 

"Uh, I think he's getting ready for the play." I narrowed my eyes at her, starting to realize something. Golden hair, blue eyes, a bright smile... "Are you Chris Noel?"

Her eyes widened in shock. "Ye-yes. How do you know who I am?"

"Please, Knox never shuts up about you." She blushed in response to this. "I heard he came to your school today?"

This caused Chris to groan. "Yes, he did! He read this embarrassing poem in front of my entire class about how much he loved me, which I don't even think is possible considering he barely knows me! It was totally humiliating, and what's even worse is that Chet found out. It took me forever to convince him not to come over here and kill Knox!"

I smiled softly and shook my head. Tonight was the night of not caring, after all. "Look, no one is denying that Knox is an idiot for doing everything he's done so far. But, there's also no one denying that he really cares about you, Chris. So, if you're going to reject him for good tonight, can you promise me that you just do it easily?"

Chris thought for a second before replying. "Why do you think Knox loves me so much? He's only met me a couple times, and even still he's never really had an actual conversation with me."

"I think he believes you guys are soulmates. Now, I don't know if you believe in that sort of thing, but Knox really does and he thinks that the two of you have a magical connection with each other." Chris' hesitant face made me narrow my eyes. "Do you have any sort of feelings for Knox?"

"I-I don't know. I love Chet and I've been with him forever, but Knox feels new and fresh and he really, truly loves me. I want to give him a chance to prove that he can be a good boyfriend to me and maybe I can fall in love with him too. Is it wrong to think you might feel something for someone else when you have a boyfriend already?"

I sighed. "Maybe if you're thinking about being with someone else, than the person you're with right now isn't the right option for you."

"Chris?" I heard, and looked behind me to see the entire gang gaping at Chris and I as we talked. Knox approached us with a worried look on his face. "What are you doing here?" 

"Students, lets go!" Mr. Keating's voice called from down the hallway. 

"Go ahead, guys. I'll catch up." Knox said, and I quickly rushed over to the group of guys and paraded them away to give Knox and Chris their privacy. Meeks especially didn't really seem to want to leave, gaping at Chris in awe. 

"You know," Charlie whispered, just loud enough so that I could hear it, "the rest of them may have been staring at Chris, but I was looking at you. You look amazing."

I blushed. "Thank you, Charlie. You look very handsome yourself."

"Are we all ready to go?" Mr. Keating asked as we approached him. "Where's Mr. Overstreet?"

"He's, uh, dealing with something right now, Captain." I said. 

Mr. Keating smiled knowingly. "I see. Well, we should get going then. The play begins shortly."

We all piled into Mr. Keating's small blue car, having to squeeze tightly together to make room for everyone. Knox and Chris were talking to each other just a few feet in front of us. "Will you be joining us, Mr. Overstreet?" Mr. Keating called. 

"Go ahead, Captain. I'll walk." Knox said, turning back to what looked like his argument with Chris. I squeezed into the backseat with Meeks, Pitts, Cameron and Charlie, allowing Todd to take the front, and we began driving off together. 

"It's a good thing Knox is walking, because we wouldn't have had room for him anyways." Pitts said, trying to adjust his tall frame so he could fit semi-comfortably. "We don't even have room for us!" 

"What did you say to Chris?" Charlie asked, ignoring Pitt's comment.

"I told her that if she has feelings for Knox she should give him a chance." 

Everyone gaped at me in shock. 

"What happened to soulmates and having an instant connection with someone being bullshit?" Cameron asked. "I thought you were completely against Knox and Chris being together!"

I gave him a small smile and shrugged. "I still don't believe in soulmates. But, if two people have a real connection with each other, even if they've only known each other for a couple weeks, they should pursue it if they want to." I gave Charlie a small smile at this. "Plus, it doesn't look like Chris really hates Knox."

Charlie smiled at me before gently taking my hand in his. I knew we were pushing it right now, but tonight I was done with caring about what was going to happen after. All I wanted at the moment was for all of my friends and myself to be happy, and if that meant breaking my biggest rule and being with Charlie, even if just for one night, than so be it. 

"Carpe noctem." I whispered, and he smirked. 

We had finally reached the busy and bustling theater after just a couple minutes of being squished together in the car. We all entered in compete shock. The theater had been completely transformed, with the stage now taking the appearance of a forest with lights dancing around it. Neil and the rest of the cast was nowhere to be seen, but the rest of the audience was completely full. We all managed to find seats close to the front, and I sat between Todd and Charlie. After just a couple minutes, the show began, and it wasn't long before Charlie was elbowing me and pointing to the back of the theatre, where Knox and Chris had just entered together. I gave him a small smile and took his hand again. 

Not long after that, Neil made his grand entrance, wearing an outfit of all grey and a crown of flowers atop his head. Todd crossed his fingers nervously, and Charlie jumped up and pointed excitedly at his friend. I shoved him back down into his seat with a smile, while on stage Neil hid behind a tree as a girl in a similar outfit emerged. 

"Either I mistake your shape and making quite," she recited, "or else you are that shrewd and knavish sprite called Robin Goodfellow."

"Thou speak'st alright; I am that merry wanderer of the night." Neil exclaimed, jumping up in joy. "I jest to Oberon and make him smile when I a fat and bean-fed horse beguile. Neighing in likeness of a filly foal: and sometimes lurk I in a gossip's bowl, in very likeness of a roasted crab, and when she drinks, against her lips I bob, and on her wither'd dewlap pour the ale. The wisest aunt, telling the saddest tale..."

Charlie leaned over Todd and I to whisper to Mr. Keating. "He's good. He's really good."

He was spectacular. Neil jumped and jived across the stage during his speech, changing his voice to sound mischevious when he had to and making sounds of animals that had the audience bent over in laughter. The entire audience was entranced by him, and I could see Todd smiling in pride. 

"Sometime for three-foot stool mistaketh me;" Neil continued, "then slip I from her bum, down topples she, and tailor cries, and falls into a cough, and then the whole quire hold their hips and laugh, and waxen in their mirth and neeze and swear a merrier hour was never wasted there." He was interrupted by the sound of twinkling bells. "But, room, fairy! Here comes Oberon." 

"And here my mistress." The fairy replied. "Would that he were gone!"

The two actors hid behind trees then, lifting their twig covered hands to hid themselves. 

We continued watching the rest of the play in delight, and I'll admit, this was the happiest I had been since coming here. I was surrounded by my best friends, the boy I had fallen in love with was holding my hand and stroking my palm with his thumb, Knox and Chris were sitting happily next to each other in the back row, and Neil was doing a fantastic job onstage. I thought nothing could go wrong, when out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure entering the theatre. Shit. 

"Charlie!" I whispered, elbowing said boy in the side. "Mr. Perry's here."

Charlie's head whipped around in shock, eyes widening in alarm when he saw the angry face of Neil's dad. "Shit. Neil said he was on a business trip!"

"Either he lied or he was wrong." 

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know."

Charlie and I sat in shocked silence for a couple minutes before I could hear him whisper under his breath, "Neil's going to die tonight."

And I didn't even have the heart to deny it anymore. 

...

We had finally reached the end of the play without any major events happening, the stage completely dark except for the single spotlight shining on Neil with his back to the audience. He turned his back so he was facing us. 

"If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended. That you have but slumber'd here while these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream, gentles, do not reprehend: if you pardon we will mend: and, as I am an honest Puck, if we have unearned luck now to 'scape the serpent's tongue, we will make amends ere long; else the Puck a liar call; so, good night unto you all. Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Robin shall restore amends."

Neil backed away after delivering his final speech, allowing the curtains to close. The entire audience leaped up enthusiastically and began to applaud. After a couple seconds, the cast appeared and bowed to the applause, before two of the girls pushed Neil forward so he could have his moment in the spotlight. 

"YAWP!" The boys all cried, even Knox in the back, and I couldn't help but laugh in joy despite the dark figure that was behind me. 

"Yeah, Neil!" I heard, and looked behind me to see Knox pumping his fist in the air with Chris smiling next to him. Knox caught my eye and winked, and I couldn't help but wink at him in return. 

The happy mood dissappeared though when everyone started to leave and I noticed Mr. Perry talking to the director of the play with an angered look on his face. Charlie and I shot each other a look of concern before starting to parade our way out with the rest of the boys. Charlie gave my hand a squeeze as we waited for Neil to show up in the main foyer, and when he did my heart almost plummetted. Neil was being dragged behind his father, who was pushing his way through the crowd of people without remorse. 

"Neil!" Charlie called out, trying to get his friend's attention. "Neil, you were great!"

"I can't, guys." Neil replied, his face completely emotionless. 

"Neil!" Todd cried out. 

Neil followed his dad outside of the building, where Mr. Keating was finally able to stop him. "Neil! Neil, you have the gift. What a performance. You left even me speechless. You have to stay with-"

Mr. Keating was cut off by Mr. Perry shoving Neil aside. "Get in the car. Keating, you stay away from my son."

Charlie and I looked at each other in despair as Neil climbed into his dad's car without hesitation. "Neil!" Charlie cried out. "Neil! Mr. Perry, come on."

"Don't make it any worse than it is." Mr. Keating said grimly, holding Charlie back. 

Neil shot us all one more sad glance before his father drove away, leaving us all stranded there in front of the theatre with nothing left to say. 

"Ally," Charlie said, grabbing my arms, "we have to do something! Ok, we both know what's going to happen next and we both know that it can't happen! C'mon, don't just stand there do something!"

"Charlie, I don't know what else I'm supposed to do!" I pleaded, tears starting to well in my eyes. "Neil got in the car, he's gone, there's nothing left for us to do! I'm sorry, but I couldn't do it!"

"Damnit, you have to think of something!" Charlie yelled. 

"Guys," Todd timidly interjected, his face filled with worry, "what's going on?"

That's it. There was only one person in the world right now who Neil would listen to, who he loved with his whole heart. 

"Todd," I started, "you have to go to Neil's house."

"What?"

"Mr. Keating do you know the address?" 

"I do, Ms. Wharton."

"Take Todd there, then. Todd, you have to go there and you have to find Neil, okay? Look, I know you're really worried and probably scared right now, but if you don't go and find Neil then he's going to do something very bad tonight. Okay? Can you go and talk to him?"

Todd looked at me in shock and fear before giving a rapid nod of his head. 

"The rest of us will walk back." Charlie announced to the group. "Todd, meet us at the cave, with Neil, when you get back."

Todd nodded nervously at us before hopping in the care with Mr. Keating and speeding off into the night. The rest of us stood there silently, the group of boys facing Charlie and I with suspicious looks on their faces. 

"What's going on, guys?" Knox asked. "What was that all about?" 

I looked at Charlie before making up my mind, deciding it was finally time to do this. "When we get back to the cave, I think I have some explaining to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so much happened in this chapter! Ally and Charlie have basically decided to be together for the night after Ally decides to just stop caring for a little while after the stress she has been put through, Todd is on his way to save Neil and Knox won Chris over!   
> The next chapter will be mostly based off of a deleted scene from the movie that happens after the play, so hopefully I can get that up soon because it will be a good one!  
> As always, I hope you guys liked this chapter, please leave a comment of you did or just to let me know what you thought!


	27. We'll Always be Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know if words can sum up what happens in this chapter.... so all I'm going to say is that it's very emotional and involves a lot of bonding between the characters and you'll find out the rest when you read it :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been so busy with school, this chapter ended up being really long and I've also recently become addicted to Shadowhunters (#Malec fanfic maybe???) so all of those combined have been taking up quite a bit of my time. Anyways, hope you like this chapter, I'm very proud of it, so I hope you guys enjoy reading it!

We had all made it back to the cave unharmed, well, all of us except for Cameron, who chose to head back to Welton by himself instead. Now, Charlie, Meeks, Pitts, Knox, Chris and I all sat around the blazing campfire for warmth, silently waiting for Todd to come back with Neil in tow. Knox had a half-empty bottle of wine in his hand (supplied by Charlie of course), and there was already one empty one that had been drank by the group of us due to the stress and worry filling our souls. Even the cave felt different today, still filled with it's usual magic, but it wasn't shining as bright as it normally seemed to. 

"Knox, I think that maybe I should go home." Chris softly said. "Chet might call."

"Oh, c'mon, it's just for a little while." Knox argued. "You promised."

"You're so infuriating." Chris replied, but her small smile made it obvious that she wasn't actually angry with him. 

"So, Ally, what was it you wanted to tell us?" Meeks asked. 

Charlie took a long drink of the wine. "We should probably wait for Neil and Todd to come back before explaining that." 

Meeks nodded, and then we were back to watching the fire burn in the centre of the cave, the only sound filling it being Pitts playing a little mouth instrument that he had brought with him and the occasional cracking and popping of the sparks. Every couple of minutes I would glance to the entrance of the cave to see if Neil or Todd had come back yet, but every time I was only met with the darkness of the night surrounding us and the chirping of the birds and every once in a while, the howling of a nearby wolf. Charlie, sensing my discomfort, wrapped his arm around me in a comforting gesture. 

"They're going to come back." He assured. 

"I hope so." I said, leaning into his comforting touch. 

We stared in silence at the flickering flame as I slowly began to lose hope, thinking my plan to send Todd didn't work after all when...

"H-hey guys." The timid voice of Todd Anderson sounded, stepping into the cave. "What's going on?" 

But then the real moment of joy came when Neil stepped into the cave after Todd, his face pale and tear-streaked, looking emotionally and physically exhausted. I didn't care though. All that mattered to me was that he was here, and he was alive. I quickly jumped up and wrapped my arms around him in joy. 

"Oh my god, I'm so glad you're here!" I exclaimed. "What happened with your dad?"

Neil shrugged and glanced at Todd nervously. Todd gently took Neil's arm and guided him to sit down on one of the ledges with Todd squeezed next to him so the two of them were pressed together practically from head to toe. Charlie regarded the two with concerned eyes before pulling out another full bottle of wine and passing it to them. "You both look like you need this more than I do."

Todd nodded with a small smile before taking a large swig from the bottle without hesitating. Both of the boys looked like they had been through an emotional wringer since we'd last seen them, and to be honest they probably had. We all sat in silence again for a couple of minutes as we took turns chugging from the thousands of wine bottles that Charlie had somehow smuggled in here.

"Okay," Charlie finally interrupted, "clearly there are some stories to be told tonight so, who wants to go first?"

Considering Todd and Neil still looked traumatized, I decided it would be best if I got my story out of the way before they had to tell everyone else theirs'. "Okay, guys, before I start this, I just want you all to know that I'm so sorry for not telling you all about this sooner and for keeping it a secret, but I didn't feel like I had a choice." I took a deep breath and glanced at Charlie, who gave me an encouraging smile, before continuing. "I'm not from this time. I actually live in 2018. One day, my friends and I were looking through the library and found an old annual that had a memorial in it. And that memorial was of Neil, saying that he died in 1959." All of the boys glanced at Neil in shock, who hung his head and refused eye contact. "I wanted to know more about what happened to you, so I found the future Todd Anderson who told me that Neil would go home with his dad the night of the play, and would never return, having shot himself in the head with his dads gun. I came to the future cave, where after I touched the God of the Cave I was sent back in time, and, well, I guess you guys have witnessed everything else since then, you just haven't realized it."

The boys all looked completely shocked, but none of them said a single word. 

"I was going to do it." Neil suddenly whispered, looking up at me with tears in his eyes. 

"What?" Meeks whispered, looking between the two of us in disbelief and sadness. 

Neil shook his head in anguish, prompting Todd to grab his hand with both of his as a form of comfort. "My-my father was furious. He was going to pull me out of Welton and enroll me in military school for the rest of the year, and then I was going to go to Harvard and become a doctor. I couldn't do it. I couldn't even live with the thought that I was going to be miserable for the rest of my life. So, when my parents went to bed I snuck out of my room and went down to my fathers office, where he keeps his gun. I was about to shoot myself in the head with it, when..."

"When I showed up." Todd finished, understanding how hard this probably was for Neil to tell. "I found him in his dad's office with a gun to his head. God, I've never been more terrified in my entire life than I was when I saw that."

"But you stopped him." I prompted. 

Neil nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, he did." Tears then began to spill from Neil's eyes, and when I looked around I was shocked to find that there was not one dry face in the entire cave that night. "I'm so sorry, guys. I know it's incredibly selfish of me to even think about leaving you all like that, but I didn't know what else to do. I finally felt like I had achieved true happiness with the play tonight and then for it all to get torn away from me just like that... The thought was too much to deal with. I had to make some sort of statement to my father that I was unhappy, and dying seemed like the best way to do it at the time. Now, sitting here with all of you, I can't believe I was even considering leaving you all behind like that. You're all my family."

"Neil," Knox started, "all you have left is one year before you turn eighteen and you don't have to listen to your father anymore. You can be happy for the rest of your life, with us."

"I know." He replied. "But even one year under his rules seemed like too long for me." 

"You know," Charlie started, seemingly deep in thought, "Ally suggested that we all move to New York together after graduation. Neil and I could go to Julliard, Todd and Knox to Colombia to do English and Law, and then I'm sure Meeks and Pitts could find an engineering program together somewhere, maybe NYU. We could share a huge flat, live together, and most importantly, we'd be away from our parents. Does that sound amazing to anyone else or am I just drunk already?"

We all laughed. "That does sound amazing, Charlie." Knox replied. "And I think we all might be a little bit tipsy, not just you." 

We all went silent again, contemplating the situation that we had just been presented with. Neil and Todd were still clutching hands, their bodies pressed tightly together despite the abundance of space in the cave. Occasionally they would glance into each others eyes with mixtures of both worry and love, and I could tell all they wanted right now was to be alone and be safe together. Charlie's arm was still wrapped around my shoulder from before, and I found myself leaning even further into him so my head was resting comfortably on his shoulder, our bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. Knox and Chris were sharing small smiles here and there, but it was obvious from those split second glances that there was love between them already. It was a night of happiness and peace and love in the cave, and I never wanted to leave. 

"Ally," Todd started, "did you send me to talk to Neil because you knew I could stop him?"

"I had a feeling." I replied wistfully. "Future Todd told me that he was in love with Neil before he died. When I came back here, it was always my goal to try and get you two together, but the love you shared shocked even me. It was so obvious to me from the moment you both met that you were meant to be together. So, when Neil got into the car with his dad, I knew you were the only person he cared about enough to listen to. I may have been the one to send you, Todd, but you saved Neil's life tonight."

Todd and Neil shared a small smile before cuddling closer together. There was no doubt that after tonight, they were bonded for life and were going to spend the rest of their lives together, having proven that they were incapable of living without the other anymore. 

"I'm shocked you guys aren't more surprised." I said. "When I told Charlie, he freaked out and wouldn't have a normal conversation with me for an entire day."

Charlie scoffed. "There was more behind my angriness towards you than just that. I was hurting, and you know why."

I rubbed his leg with my hand as a form of comfort. "I know. And you know that I apologized for that, but I didn't know what else to do at the time. I had to think with my brain, even if my heart was saying something completely different at the time."

Charlie smiled softly at me, and I thought he was going to kiss me before Pitts interrupted the moment. "I don't know if it's just the wine talking, but you saved our friend from dying tonight, Ally. No matter how crazy your story may be, or the things you may have done leading up to it, you protected one of our family members tonight. And for that, we're forever going to love you."

"And you even became another one of our family members in the process." Meeks supplied with a small smile.

"So," Knox said, "if you were to touch the God of the Cave again, you would go back to your time?"

"I guess so." I shrugged. "But I don't feel like testing that theory tonight. I love you all too much to leave right now."

The boys and Chris all smiled at this, faces still stained with the marks of our tears. "Jesus." Charlie said. "Look at this, we've all been reduced to babies in the course of a couple freaking minutes!"

We all laughed at this, not even bothering to wipe our tears. "Oh, c'mon, Charlie." I ribbed, nudging him gently. "Even men are allowed to be emotional every once in a while."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He replied, wiping his face. 

"Just get in here, guys, c'mon, group hug!" Pitts exclaimed, standing in the centre of the cave. We all stood up and gathered ourselves in a large tangle of giggles and tears, savouring the love we shared for each other and the happiness we were feeling in the moment. This was the first time since I had been here where I don't think a single one of us had a worry on our minds and weren't fearing what was going to happen the next day. The only thing any of us could care about was each other, and it was a good feeling. 

"I love you all." I sobbed. "More than I've ever loved a group of people in my life."

They all replied with little back rubs and laughs, but I knew they felt the emotion too. And maybe it was just the wine getting the better of us, but the emotions were real. There was no denying that. We all stood in our little circle for God knows how long, before a familiar voice interrupted our happiness. 

"I thought I'd find you all here." Mr. Keating said, standing at the entrance of the cave with a smile on his face. 

"Mr. Keating." Charlie greeted in shock. The other boys and all greeted him softly with the phrase we knew he preferred: "Captain."

Mr. Keating slowly entered the cave, regarding us all, our tear stained but smiling faces, and the empty wine bottles on the ground with his eyebrows raised. "Not a bad way to spend an evening, eh? Look at that, women are already swooning." He gestured to Chris when he said this, to which she blushed and smiled. Mr. Keating looked around the cave in awe, and I couldn't help but wonder when the last time was he was here. "Well, here we all are. Hey, why so glum? Neil, your performance was a cause for celebration, not this." 

Neil smiled, and we all patted him on the back and congratulated him, having not gotten the chance to do so at the theatre. "Well, let's have a meeting then in your honour." Charlie exclaimed. "Captain, will you lead it?"

"Oh, I don't know..."

We all encouraged him relentlessly until he finally sighed and said, "Oh, it's been fifteen years." We all laughed and moved back to our seats, turning our undying attention to our Captain like we had so many times before in the soulless classrooms of Welton that he always somehow managed to bring back to life. "I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, to live deep, and to suck out all the marrow of life. Put to rout all that was not life, and not," at this moment, we all joined in, reciting the message in unison that we could recite in our sleeps at that point, "when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."

We all giggled and gave little claps before Mr. Keating asked, "Alright, who's up first?"

"I have something." Todd declared, much to all of our shock. He began to reach in his pocket to pull out a piece of crumpled paper, and we all stared at him in awe. 

"Mr. Anderson." Mr. Keating said, moving aside to allow Todd to take centre stage. 

"That thing you've been working on?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, that thing." Todd said, giving Neil's hand a squeeze as he stood up. "I was going to read it tonight no matter what happened at the play, but I think I have extra motivation to do it now."

"Let me just take my old spot." Mr. Keating said, moving to sit on a ledge near Charlie and I. 

Todd nervously fiddled with the paper he now held in his hands, and we all watched him with nervous anticipation. "I-in between the verses, all of you say: and still we sleep." We all nodded our affirmation before allowing him to continue. "We are dreaming of tomorrow, and tomorrow isn't coming. We're dreaming of the glory that we don't really want. We're dreaming of a new day when the new day is there already. And we're running from the battle, when it's one that must be fought." He gestured to us then. "And still we sleep. We're listening for the calling, but never really hearing it. Hoping for the future when the future's only plans. Dreaming of the wisdom we're dodging daily, and praying for a saviour, when salvation's in our hands. And still we sleep. And still we dream, and still we fear, and still we pray, and still we sleep." 

We all stood from our spots and erupted into applause for our formerly shy friend, who was beaming with pride and modestly taking in the praise and congratulations. I ran over and enveloped him a quick hug, whispering in his ear, "I knew you had it in you." Charlie reached out and ruffled Todd's hair with a "Way to go!". Even Chris, who was unfamiliar with the majority of us, beamed and said, "That was beautiful." When Todd finally turned to Neil, Neil pulled him into a passionate hug and held him closely, letting the love seep into him.

"I hold in my hand a crystal ball." Mr. Keating announced, holding an icicle in his hand. "And for Todd Anderson, I see great things."

We all laughed as Mr. Keating walked over and embraced Todd with a smile. 

"Getting better, huh?" Todd asked. 

"Yeah, just a little bit." Mr. Keating said with a laugh. "The power of the cave is truly with you, sir."

Neil passed the book forward to Mr. Keating at that point, who opened it joyously. When he found a musical poem that apparently brought him much joy, he began jumping and chanting like we were members of a cult, and the other boys didn't hesitate to join in, chanting and bouncing happily. Chris and I shared smiles and eye rolls at their antics, but couldn't help but laugh. 

"You've probably never had so much fun." Todd said, gesturing to Chris, who burst into laughter. The rest of the boys ribbed and joked with her about how impressed she seemed with their antics, but all I could notice was the way Neil was staring at Todd, devoting all of his attention onto the boy who had probably saved his life. I could tell they wanted nothing more than to be alone together, and I intended to give them that. 

"How about this one, Mr. Keating?" I asked, pointing to a poem on the page he currently had open. 

"Ah, good choice, Ms. Wharton." He cleared his throat before he began reciting. "General William Booth Enters Into Heaven, by Vachel Lindsay. When I pause, you ask, 'Are you washed in the blood of the lamb?" We all nodded our affirmation. "Booth led boldy with his big bass drum..."

"Are you washed in the blood of the lamb?"

Keating then began to head out of the cave as he continued reciting, dancing his way out, and we all followed. All, that is, except for Neil and Todd, who chose to remain where they were. I gave them both winks before departing the cave, peeking back in to see that they were already reaching for each other with lovestruck expressions on their faces. I smiled and continued dancing through the forest, hand in hand with Charlie. It was a beautiful night then; the moon was full, the stars were in abundance, the night was clear and cold. The trees were filled with icicles as we all followed Mr. Keating into the night, the freeze turning the normally barren forest into a world of diamonds. "The Saints smiled gravely and they said, "He's come...?"

"Are you washed in the blood of the lamb?"

"Walking lepers followed rank on rank, lurching bravos from the ditches dank, drabs from the alleyways and drug fiends pale, minds still passion-ridden, soul powers frail..."

"Are you washed in the blood of the lamb?"

"Christ came gently with a robe and crown, for Booth the soldier, while the throng knelt down. He saw King Jesus. They were face to face, and he knelt a-weeping in that holy place."

"Are you washed in the blood of the lamb?" 

We had reached the frozen waterfall at that point, silencing us all. The icy sculpture seemed to defy gravity as we looked at its remarkable form, the sky clear above us and the moonlight casting a strange bluish glow on us all as it bounced off of the snow. The moonlight and the mystical wonder of the frozen waterfall combined with the magic of poetry sent us out onto the frozen lake, dancing and playing in the snow. We initially started dancing in a group on the ice, reciting Meeks musical poem from the very first meeting about the Congo and the forest, before the magic of the night created music for us all and we began dancing jumping and dancing like idiots, but we didn't care. Mr. Keating even took the time to have a little solo moment with all of us, spinning us around in circles. Charlie eventually found his way over to me and started dancing with me arm in arm, holding on tightly. Out of the corner of my eye as we danced, I couldn't help but notice that Knox and Chris were standing on the edge of the lake and sharing a gentle kiss.

"Charlie," I said, "look."

He turned his head so he could smile proudly at his friend before turning back to me with a smile, wrapping his arm around my shoulder tightly. "Look at this. There was a very big chance tonight that we were all going to lose a friend, but because of you, instead we're here, dancing on a frozen lake, dreaming of our futures together and we're all actually, truly happy for once. Neil and Todd are probably losing their virginities in that cave as we speak, Knox and Chris are sharing their first kiss and you and I... well, who really knows what's going on with you and I?"

I turned to him with a smile before gently pressing my lips to his in a quick kiss. "I do. I want to be with you, Charlie, even if just for tonight. And if tonight is all we're going to get, than I intend to make the most of it."

He smirked before leaning in and capturing my lips with his own again in a passionate embrace that lasted at least for a couple minutes before we were interrupted by the barbaric yawps of a group of dead poets shouting out into the night. I glanced around us to see the group still dancing with smiles on their faces, repeatedly shouting the chant into the air and not caring who heard them. Charlie and I smiled before joining in, saluting our Captain, who was standing tall at the top of the waterfall and regarding us with pride and happiness. We danced and sang and cheered for what felt like hours but was probably only a couple minutes, celebrating our night of love, happiness, success and family. 

…

"So, what happens next?" Charlie asked as we walked back to the school, a couple feet behind the rest of the group. We could've stayed at the lake for the entire night and watched the sun rise over the snow-covered ground the next morning, but it was Mr. Keating who insisted we head back to avoid getting caught the next morning. Knox was going to be significantly later than the rest of us, since he had insisted on walking Chris home, and no one knew where Neil and Todd currently were at the moment, and none of us wanted to check the cave and find out. So, Meeks, Pitts, Charlie and I followed our Captain back through the forest, except this time we weren't dancing and singing, instead opting to silently march our way through the wilderness and back to our hell. 

"What do you mean?" I asked. 

"You told me the only reason you were here is because you needed to stop Neil from killing himself. Well, you did that. So, are you going to hang out a little longer with us or are you planning on heading back to 2018 immediately? I just want to know because I think I'm going to have to mentally prepare myself to say goodbye to you."

I thought for a moment. "Has anyone ever told you that you worry too much, Nuwanda?"

Charlie smirked. "I thought that was my line."

"It was, until I started being the one to stop caring and you became a worrier. It's a good night Charlie, let's not mess it up by filling our brains with anxiety."

"What do you intend to do with the rest of this good night, then?"

I eyed him with a smirk. "You remember how I said carpe noctem earlier?"

"Yup. So you intend to seize the night, then?"

"I do. The night is for lovers and drinkers after all, isn't it?"

"Even if it isn't, I think we fit both categories pretty nicely right now."

"The bottles on the ground of the cave would certainly agree."

Charlie chuckled at this, and I swear he started to speed up how fast he was moving. We managed to reach the school at the same time as the rest of the group, practically running up to our dorms. We wished Mr. Keating a goodnight so he could make his way up to the teacher's headquarters, and then quickly said the same to Meeks and Pitts, who pretended they didn't notice us entering my dorm room together. Now, we stood facing each other, neither of us knowing what to do next. 

It was Charlie who made the first move, stripping off his clothes while maintaining direct eye contact with me. I shyly began to do the same, ignoring any instincts I was having to cover myself. We both continued doing this until we were completely naked and regarding each other with shy but excited eyes. Charlie took a couple steps forward and gently caressed my face with his hand. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered. 

I stepped away from him to turn the light off before stepping back in front of his frame and grabbing his face in my hands. "I am."

"If we get caught..."

"We won't get caught if we're quiet."

Charlie smiled then and kissed me, and no more words were exchanged after that. I won't describe for you the dirty details of what happened between Charlie and I that night, but I can say now that it was the best night of my life. The joy I had shared earlier with my friends, the effects that Cupid's arrow seemed to be having on the majority of us, and the satisfaction that came with knowing that I had done it; I had saved Neil Perry's life. Losing my virginity on it's own was a memorable experience but losing it on a night like this made it 10x better than it already was. This was the happiest I had ever been in my entire life, and I never, ever wanted it to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really hoped you guys enjoyed this chapter I promise I'll try and have the next one up soon!  
> PS: If you know anyone out there who loves Shadowhunters or if you love it, please tweet with the #Saveshadowhunters because it's a crime that this amazing show filled with representation is ending after only 3 seasons! There is also a petition that you can find on change.org titled Save Shadowhunters, so please sign that as well! Give this show a fair chance!   
> Ok, that's my very sidetracked rant, I'll update soon!


	28. IMPORTANT STORY UPDATE!!!!!

Hey guys this is just an update on how things are going with me and where I am planning to take this story! To start off with, I am so, so sorry that I took basically a month off without any sort of update, but IB exams kind of became my top priority and left me little to no time to update this story and focus on anything other than school. However, now that exams are basically over I am planning on jumping back into writing this and finishing this as soon as I can. I am working on the next chapter now and hopefully it will be up by the end of the day tomorrow or this weekend. I am also working on some shadowhunters fanfic so if you guys are fans of that keep checking my page and hopefully those will be up soon too. Sorry again for the delay and thank you to everyone for waiting patiently!


End file.
